The silent walk to the house didn't feel that short.
Take off the mask and muffler, organize the clothes you bought and wear.
I washed every part of my body with hot water, but it was still midday.
After putting on my indoor clothes, I took a sip of the coffee I had put down on the table earlier.
Strangely, it was still warm.
While drinking coffee through a straw and turning on the TV, her brother came out of the bedroom.
She wears her usual clothes,
The time she spent outside seemed like a lie to me as she brushed her hair and walked carelessly toward her room.
Not just today,
I feel that way every day.
"Kim Winter, drink coffee. It was still warm."
"Ah, yes. ⋯I'll dry my hair and drink it."
I opened the door without looking in my direction, and I heard the sound of the dryer blowing through the wall.
Perhaps because of his long hair, the sound echoed for quite a while before finally cutting off.
I corrected her posture and sat down and waited for a long time, but did not come out to drink her coffee.
⋯Because it cools down.
Still, I grabbed the coffee that was still warm and knocked on the door.
"⋯Goes in."
"Yes."
With her permission, I went into her brother's room and found him lying on her bed with his nose in the pillow.
She seemed to be in a good mood until she entered the cafe.
Was it something that made you feel uncomfortable?
Or is it because it is that day that the emotional ups and downs are severe?
⋯I don't know.
The reason didn't matter anyway.
Whether i'm a boyfriend
Or your older brother.
If you're like that, the fact that you need to be comforted doesn't change.
"Drink coffee. It's cold."
"⋯I'll have a drink later."
"What is it that makes you feel bad?"
"⋯Just."
"Is it because of him?"
"No. ⋯He did nothing wrong."
"⋯I don't think so."
I put my coffee on the desk and sat down on the bed.
Because i'm not at home
I wanted to act as an older brother within the permitted range.
Even if the content is strange and distorted,
As long as you don't overhear, you're just having a normal conversation.
"⋯I'm sorry. It was our first date after dating. Because of me."
"No. Well, it was kind of fun. I saw the first snow."
"Still. ⋯I wanted to spend more time, but I suddenly felt weird."
"⋯Do you hate that I'm your brother?"
I threw it once in a joking tone, and my younger brother immediately shook his head.
"Your brother is… Your brother. Nolens volens."
"⋯."
"⋯I don't like it. Now."
Covering your mouth with a pillow, the voice you spit out echoes.
Maybe that's why, I couldn't know for sure.
I can't even see your face
Voice and pronunciation.
Because it's all messed up
"Brother… Have you ever hated me because I'm your little sister…?"
"⋯."
"⋯There is."
"Recently ⋯ several times."
"⋯I see."
"It can't be helped. ⋯ It's something that shouldn't be done in the first place. I knew. Although I was quite determined."
"Really?"
"Do you think I wasn't prepared?"
"⋯Brother."
Winter, who had been lying down all along, finally sat down on the bed, revealing her face.
I wasn't crying
She still looked cute, but her expression wasn't good.
It was the kind of expression I often see on days when my studies aren't going well.
"Brother… When I finished the exam."
"⋯Uh."
"If you hadn't done that, ⋯what would you have done?"
"Like what."
"I only wear underwear. If you hadn't said that to my brother, would you have done that to me?"
"…Probably not until now."
Tell the truth,
It was a question without an answer anyway, whether it was mixed with fiction or not.
So she decided to just tell the truth.
I've already lied to too many people,
At least between us, we don't want to lie.
"If I didn't like oppa… If that was the case, everything would have been comfortable…"
"That's not right."
"But, ⋯that's right. I made you like that."
"Do you think I will regret being like this?"
"⋯Don't you regret it?"
"I will not. Never. Until the death."
"Really?"
"Of course, if you suddenly change and say you don't like me, you may regret it… But until then, I will never do that."
"⋯."
"It was me then… I didn't attack without much thought."
Of course, emotions overflowed beyond the limit,
It is true that my heart and libido almost exploded.
It's true that after I crossed the line, I was driven mad by the words that deceived and provoked me,
At least,
When he crossed the line, he did not lose his reason.
"I had plenty of time to think about it, but… I tried to hide it. I chose it because I knew it couldn't be done. Don't feel so guilty."
Only until Monday, before her mom returns.
How meaningless this brief restriction is.
I knew that a line once broken could not be undone.
In fact, it may have been cut off before then.
In my room with you blindfolded,
From the time you waited for me pretending to sleep.
It was already decided from then on.
Cleared my mind
I want to remain as a brother and sister.
No matter how many times I tried to deceive myself and hold on,
Maybe not even then
Someday it will be like this
Covet each other's body,
Covet your heart,
What I was trying to own
Because it's not just that day.
"Yes."
"Whether outside or inside, there are many times when we have to live as brother and sister. ⋯That's not bad as it is. Because we are friends As an older brother and sister."
"⋯I'm not close with my brother."
"Couldn't you just say something at a time like this?"
"No. Because you are my brother."
"…Then, as an older brother, let me ask you one question."
"Do I even have to listen to my brother nagging me?"
"You don't even listen to your mother anyway."
"⋯I'll listen."
The way he grumbles and speaks,
It was cute.
Even in a rational sense,
In the sense of siblings,
Entire.
"Did you feel so bad about introducing yourself as an older brother to your brother?"
"Huh. ⋯Extremely. He's my boyfriend, he's very handsome, isn't he? Tall too. The shoulders are also big. Dignified proud only of me ⋯I wanted to brag."
"⋯Isn't that enough?"
"Of course not to that extent. ⋯I still wanted to. Because it's mine."
"What are you doing to others as you please?"
"There is nothing left. ⋯ Either way. Or should I do your brother's?"
"⋯I kind of like that."
"What is it, gross? Showing possessiveness to your younger sister is gross."
"Aren't you gross?"
"I am your brother. He is also younger than his brother. I haven't heard of the railroad yet. ⋯So it's okay."
"At least three years apart. You are an adult now."
"I know. It would have been nice if they were ten years older."
"Why."
"If so, oppa wouldn't have looked at me like that? I probably didn't make much of a difference though. Still, if my brother doesn't think of me that way, he can do whatever he wants, right? Engage or or ask for a hug ⋯That much."
"⋯Okay."
Even if I were about 7 years older than I am now,
Would our relationship have changed?
Maybe we got along better when we were younger
I would have acted as an adult in place of her father,
Wouldn't that have developed into a relationship like this?
Oh, maybe she never got divorced at all.
The more I thought about it, the more unanswerable the question was, but it didn't mean much.
After all, reality is closer to imagination than imagination.
"Brother, if I didn't have big breasts anyway, I would only see her as her little sister."
"Do you know why I fell for you because of my breasts?"
"⋯ Isn't it?"
"⋯Not all. It's one of the reasons."
"Look. I knew it. Pervert."
"Is it strange that men like big breasts? It's even weirder to like small things."
"⋯Then it would have been better if it was smaller."
"Why."
"If that's the case, you can call oppa and call him a real pervert."
"No, I wish…"
"Why? He said he didn't fall for her because of his chest."
"⋯Even if the chest was small, if the rest were the same, there would have been no difference."
"Transformation. Perversion."
Seeing my little brother giggling and teasing me,
I felt a little more at ease.
She seems to be feeling better enough to make fun of me.
⋯I was pissed though.
Because you are my brother
Let's laugh and move on here.
"⋯Brother. Look ahead."
"Why all of a sudden."
"Anyway. Don't look at me Look at that desk over there."
Winter suddenly bent my head forward, and I had no choice but to sit looking straight ahead.
As I was looking at the coffee I had put on my desk for a while, I felt the touch of my chest on my back.
Feet on the boat,
Arm around the neck.
It stuck perfectly.
"What. You are not at home."
"Pick me up."
"⋯What?"
"⋯Since you're my little sister, I'll ask you that much."
"⋯Where."
"Wherever."
"Are you going to the living room?"
"Huh. ⋯It's okay."
Grabbing her thighs, she got up without difficulty.
⋯ It's light.
Is it because you're my brother
Growing a lot unnecessarily.
After opening the door and wandering around for a while, I sat down on the sofa.
As I sighed between my back and the sofa, Kyeol-gyeol sighed and strangled me hard.
Still, he didn't let me go.
"Brother, I'm suffocating…"
"You can let go. Then I will wake up."
"⋯I hate that."
"Then why did it stay like this?"
"⋯."
He kept hugging me without answering, so I picked up the remote control and turned on the TV without getting up.
Sit on the sofa with your butt on,
Meanwhile, her brother is on her back.
It must have been a grotesque sight for anyone to see.
Still, the sibling time enjoyed by the two of us,
A little sweeter than coffee
Didn't write as much as I thought.