"Then I will go out. Have a good time, Mom."
"Okay, have a good time with your friends."
"Yep. When is mom leaving?"
"Mom is leaving in about two hours."
"Okay."
"Mom won't drink too much, so her son should drink moderately too."
"Ah, don't drink."
"Don't lie. Anyway, be careful with the car~"
"Yes."
Midday on Christmas Eve.
I went out the front door wearing the clothes I received as a gift from Winter.
After walking down the stairs and out of the parking lot, I called.
⋯Not accepted.
After thinking for a while, I walked to the deserted back alley where I had hidden the other day and poked my head in.
As expected,
Winter wearing the clothes I bought was standing there holding a cell phone.
"Why aren't you answering the phone?"
"⋯Aren't you too ignorant?"
"You were so obvious, but you hid."
"I wanted to play hide and seek with my brother."
"Shall we go out again?"
"No. I think oppa will find them no matter where they hide."
"I might not be able to find it. If you hide in a place where you can't detect it."
"⋯It's meaningless to hide when you have nothing to do with your brother."
"Why."
"I'm hiding because I want you to find me."
"⋯."
I wanted to come and hug you,
Before I could take a step, Winter came out of the alley first.
⋯What,
Because you are a lover
Can you cuddle outside?
"Wait, wait. Brother. People pass by here."
"Why."
"What if someone knows…"
"It's okay because it's so small that you and I can count it on the hands of people who know each other."
"⋯Really. It's pervert."
"After the college entrance exam, all the kids at your school were like this."
"It didn't mean that."
"I meant that."
"⋯."
"Actually, I thought it would be the last. Well, I'm glad it wasn't."
"Okay. ⋯ No kissing. Here."
"A kiss is what you always beg for. Did I not do much first?"
"⋯I can't help it because my brother won't do it first."
"⋯I'll do it later."
We cover our skin with the clothes we bought for each other,
Cover your nose and mouth with a mask,
The exposed eyes looked into each other's pupils and hid them from being seen by others.
It wasn't too far from home,
No one would have thought of us as siblings.
So,
It was good.
***
I thought, just in case, so I took the subway and moved to a place some distance away.
We eat lunch together to fill our hungry stomachs,
As usual, go to a cafe and drink coffee,
There was no place like a movie theater to kill time.
I also went to the convenience store.
Because I already got it
We walked aimlessly down the street holding each other's hands.
After walking for a long time, I came to a place that seemed to be my destination.
It's only been a couple of hours, but
Every hour was precious to me.
I don't know when the next time will come.
Even if there is a lot of time left,
Time that has passed does not come back.
⋯ I don't have anything to refute if you say you're just doing it because you want to.
It's okay to pack for today.
Because it's Christmas Eve
"⋯Shall we go in?"
"Brother. Wait for a sec."
"Why."
"Last time. ⋯When my brother was discharged."
"Uh."
"Do you remember our promise?"
"⋯Did you grant me a wish or something?"
"I remember."
"I will write it now."
"⋯Here?"
"I won."
"First of all, tell me."
To be honest, I was confident that I would listen to everything, no matter what it was.
Break up, or
Go out to die,
Unless it's that kind of thing.
It's marriage⋯,
I can't help it because it's not legal.
Because the necklace is ready.
If it's an event between us.
I could do that up to that point.
"Actually, there were a lot of things I thought about at the time… But it's already been done."
"⋯Did you think that way from then on, did you?"
"No. Before that."
"So, what do you plan to wish for, Mr. Winter Kim, who has fulfilled all his wishes?"
"I want to go home."
"⋯What?"
"⋯Let's go home together. Brother."
A completely different story than I thought.
A different face, a different expression than usual.
If I had to ask, it felt similar to the image he showed me on the day of the college entrance exam.
Was playing a joke on me
If he had sensed that he was trying to make fun of me again, he would have hit me on the head with a bean.
Even if you look so serious,
I couldn't pass it off as a joke.
"I can listen. Why all of a sudden."
"I'll go back and tell you."
"⋯Really?"
"Huh."
"Isn't it because you're suddenly in a bad mood?"
"No. I thought about it before coming out. From before that. ⋯A long time ago."
"Okay. Let's go and talk."
"Ah, let's go back together, oppa, go in first. Maybe your mother didn't go out."
"⋯Yes."
Why are you doing this all of a sudden
What do you want,
I thought I knew enough to know
I definitely couldn't catch it.
Still with one hand clasped,
While fiddling with the wrapping paper in the pocket with the other hand,
I slowly turned back the way I came and got on the subway.
Seeing that you don't let go of my hand even in the subway,
I couldn't even figure out the meaning.
***
"⋯I'm back."
I opened the door lock again three hours after I came out, but fortunately no one was there.
One shoe is missing,
Gas is also locked.
It definitely seemed like the right thing to do.
When I texted her brother saying it was okay to come up, I heard quick footsteps and immediately the door opened.
"⋯Brother, I'll wash up first. I was sweating while running up the stairs."
"⋯Yes."
Her brother threw off her coat and scarf and went into the bathroom.
Leaving the door open vaguely, she took off her remaining clothes and underwear and put them outside, then gently closed the door.
Hearing the sound of water hitting his body, he ran to the master bedroom.
Taking off her clothes in the bathroom,
Washing every nook and cranny of the sweat that flowed during that short walk,
I wiped it all down to the inside of my mouth.
After wiping off the water and drying my hair, I covered my lower body with a towel and came out of the bedroom.
I saw my brother go into his room behind him, covering only the front.
Of course, whether the front was covered or not, it was behind, so I couldn't see it,
A waistline that seems like it's been a while since I've seen it,
The appearance of wet hair clinging to the back,
The silence followed and buttocks that I want to grab right now,
Even in that moment, it was imprinted in my eyes.
⋯It is dangerous.
Really today,
It seems like you're going to break your promise if you're stubborn.
First of all, I also had to put on clothes, so I put the clothes I took off in the laundry basket and went back to my room.
Hearing the sound of a hair dryer coming from the next room, I changed into my room clothes.
Even after drying my hair and applying skin lotion, the sound of the wind still made my heart pound.
The moment I was about to sweat again,
As soon as the sound of drying my hair stopped, I heard the sound of the door opening in succession.
"Brother."
"⋯Would you like to sit down?"
"Huh."
Unlike usual, my sister in pajamas sat next to me.
Maybe it's because I washed it, the smell of shampoo stings my nose.
I couldn't reach it, but the heat from my body was also transmitted.
Weird.
I went out with this thought earlier,
It's not even the first time.
My heart beats strangely
As if I had done something wrong.
"What do you want to say?"
"⋯You said you wanted to be brother and sister at home."
"It did."
"I… Hate that."
"⋯You want to be a lover at home?"
I inadvertently assumed that you were asking for what I expected, but
Contrary to my thoughts, Winter shook his head.
And after taking a deep breath,
He exhaled deeply and opened his mouth.
"Because I wrote a wish earlier… This is not a wish. I'll ask my brother."
"Okay."
"I like that you are my brother."
"⋯."
"I want to be siblings both at home and outside."
"⋯Why."
Suddenly?
Come now?
Is it because I heard unexpected words?
Is it because it sounds like a word that makes you give up your heart?
I was angry.
Was it only this much of a resolution?
Did you choose this path with that much of your heart?
Enough to want to ask.
"Because you are my brother."
"What are you going to do?"
"⋯Are you angry?"
"You don't look angry?"
"Ah, ⋯that's right. I don't mean that."
"What, then."
"Do you hate me because I'm your little sister?"
"⋯No."
It wasn't that I never thought I didn't like it.
But,
If it wasn't for siblings.
At least, if it weren't for siblings.
Wouldn't there be an easier way?
I've always thought about it, but
I didn't hate it though.
I was just sorry.
"I like that my brother is my brother."
"⋯."
"Well, are you very trustworthy? It was a bit scary, but… Actually very friendly."
"⋯What do you want to say?"
"I don't seem to have many friends on that subject. I don't even make girlfriends."
Her brother was folding her fingers one by one, staring at her ceiling as if remembering something of her.
Because his face is so beautiful,
I was worried that something I didn't want to hear might come out.
It was difficult to call it fortunate, but
Those words didn't come out.
"Only take care of me. ⋯You only talk like that to me."
"⋯Why is that?"
"If I hadn't been my sister ⋯, she wouldn't have."
"That's another unknown."
"No. ⋯Because I'm your brother's younger brother, because you're my brother's brother."
"⋯."
"Because we are both shy… If it wasn't for siblings, it probably wouldn't have turned out like this."
I was looking for something to refute, but
Because it was true
No matter how much I like it, even if it's someone I want to date.
Neither you nor I would have ever spoken first.
Emotions develop,
The overlapping of each other's lips,
Even overlapping bodies.
There must have been no
"⋯ So. I like you because you are my brother."
Winter, who was sitting side by side on the bed,
He got up from his seat and climbed on top of me.
Then he brought his lips to my ear,
Told me again and again.
Her own mind,
Inside out,
Weakness.
Left everything to me
"Because you are my brother."
Destroying the puns you've been cheating on so far.
"I like my older brother."
Listing words that can't be excused at all.
"⋯Siblings."
The chill of midwinter.
"Because you are my real brother."
With the heat of Christmas.
"⋯I like it."
It all melted away in the warmth of winter.
"Please like me as an older brother… And as a younger sister."
Even though I know I can't refuse
No, because I know, I am seduced by the words that are arranged.
"⋯Please dirty it. At the word brother and sister."
So hugging her brother,
Siblings,
To the abyss of the same deep abyss,
Fell in