Chereads / THE VOICE OF NOTHINGNESS / Chapter 25 - CHAPTER/25

Chapter 25 - CHAPTER/25

Furkan stood in front of me, looking at me as if he were studying every detail, rather than just observing. A faint smile lingered on his lips, but his piercing gaze moved over me with intent. The droplets falling gently from the tips of his hair hinted he had recently performed ablution. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, hugging his arms tightly, drawing my eyes to his figure despite myself. Unlike him, I was trying not to look. With his gaze burning into me, I was at a loss and began studying the worn-out patterns on the carpet instead.

He slowly stepped closer, each footstep making my heartbeat quicken impossibly more. My breath grew uneven as his steps echoed in my ears. Five, six, seven… And now he was beside me. I stubbornly avoided looking at him, even as he knelt down in front of me. Gently, he placed his index finger beneath my chin, lifting my face to meet his eyes.

The black halos in his irises now burned with a fiery red glow, and the flames within them sparked something in me—a volcano of emotions erupted inside. When I nervously bit the corner of my lip, his gaze flickered to my lips, and he swallowed hard. The fire in his eyes transformed into stormy lightning; even he seemed unsure of himself. Slowly, he raised his hand to my head. While my breaths were coming in short gasps, my chest rose and fell rapidly. My brain felt the need to remind me to breathe as if it had forgotten.

His hand brushed past my face, tracing near my ear before moving to the back of my head. We locked eyes, frozen in place, as he tenderly stroked my hair from my forehead to the beginning of my braid. Wrapping his fingers in the strands, he tugged lightly, causing the pearl hairpin to slide down with them. Examining the pin in his hand, he closed his fist tightly around it before brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"My love, you must be exhausted from everything that's happened. Rest well, and then we'll eat together, okay?"

I struggled to comprehend his words. When he stood, I followed him with my eyes, still silent. He placed the pearl pin in his pocket, unrolled his shirt sleeves, buttoned them, and then turned to leave the room. I just stood there, watching him go.

"What was that just now?"

Frustrated, I raised an eyebrow. I felt as though I'd been tricked. Determined, I got up, fumbling to reach the zipper of my dress. My hands were clumsy from anger, making it impossible to grasp the zipper properly. Stomping my right foot in frustration, I cursed at the stubborn zipper.

"Damn it! Damn it! You're testing my patience. I swear, I'll rip this dress apart!"

The door swung open suddenly, startling me. Büşra stood there, looking panicked.

"Merve, what happened? Are you okay?"

Her breathlessness confused me. Shrugging, I collapsed onto the bed.

"This stupid zipper won't budge!"

She gave me a puzzled look, shook her head, and approached me. Placing her hand on my forehead, she frowned, as though I were feverish. Still angry, I brushed her hand away.

"What are you doing?"

She sat on the bed, giggling. Was she deliberately trying to annoy me?

"Merve, we heard banging sounds downstairs, and I got scared. But I never imagined you'd be fighting with a zipper!"

I rolled my eyes dramatically, thinking, What does she know, anyway?

"You're overreacting. And where were you guys, anyway? A little help would've been nice!"

Feigning annoyance, I tried to divert the conversation, fearing I might spill everything if she pressed further. Knowing Büşra, it would end with me being teased endlessly.

"We were in the kitchen, preparing food. But your dear fiancé has taken over everything. He's cooking now."

I hadn't known Furkan was skilled in the kitchen—or much about him, really. It seemed he had left me behind to cook. It was time to get a grip. I zipped down my dress, gesturing for Büşra to leave with a flick of my eyes. She left without a word.

After changing, I examined myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed—whether from anger or embarrassment, I wasn't sure. Restless, I tugged at the pockets of my pants and swayed back and forth. My frustration turned inward.

What were these ridiculous reactions? I thought. Had I really been so eager to throw myself at him?

Straightening my disheveled brows with my fingers, I headed to the door. As I descended the stairs, the mouthwatering aroma of food wafted up, making me realize I was starving. Entering the kitchen, I saw Büşra and Esma setting the table while Furkan stirred something in a pot. Not feeling like helping, I plopped down into a chair.

"Take a seat today, my lady," Büşra teased. "You'll be handling everything from now on, anyway."

I stuck my tongue out at her, only to catch Furkan's amused gaze. When a deep, carefree laugh escaped his lips, I wished I could sink into the floor.

"You're adorable," he said.

His words made my throat tighten with nervousness, and I started coughing. Through my fit, I caught Büşra's knowing smirk while Furkan stirred the pot, still chuckling.

"If blushing this much is your reaction, I'll make sure to compliment you more often," he teased.

The words were more than just embarrassing—they were utterly striking. I could feel his love in every fiber of my being, and I couldn't help but wonder how something so profound could happen in such a short time.

When everyone moved to the table, Esma began serving pasta from the pot. Even before tasting it, I was already enamored by the delicious-looking Bolognese pasta on my plate. Taking cautious bites as steam rose from it, I savored the incredible taste as the sauce mingled with the pasta. Bite after bite, I finished the entire plate without realizing it. As I looked up, I noticed everyone staring at me.

"What? I was really hungry!"

They giggled and resumed eating, but Furkan had set his fork down and was fixated on my lips. Without understanding why he was doing this, I watched him lean closer as if to bridge the distance between us. The closer he got, the more tense I became. He had no right to do this to me. When he raised his hand, I instinctively shut my eyes, only to feel something firm against the corner of my lip. Opening my eyes, I saw him holding a napkin, gently wiping my lip. Embarrassed, I felt angry with myself. What had I even expected? Seeing my flustered state, the corner of his lips curled into a mischievous smile. I couldn't possibly humiliate myself more today. His gaze seemed to read my mind, so I quickly pulled myself together and mumbled, "Thank you."

He nodded slowly before retreating to his chair. In silence, we all finished our meals. When I tried to help clear the table, the girls insisted it wasn't necessary, so I stepped aside. I was already exhausted and had no intention of arguing.

When I moved to the living room, Furkan followed me in. Hearing his footsteps fill the room stirred something warm inside me. These past few days, I hadn't felt alone. Whenever silence reigned in my world, his voice seemed to breathe life into it. I even cherished the feeling he gave me.

"I love you!"

I said it with my whole heart, meaning every word. I was never one to keep my feelings hidden. Life was too short, and those we loved deserved to hear it. Furkan ran his hand along the back of his neck, shyly ruffling his hair, and somehow it made him even more captivating in my eyes. He sat down beside me, took my hands in his, and looked straight into my eyes.

"Alhamdulillah, my Merve! Endless thanks to my Lord, who made your heart my home! I always knew the Creator who made you a part of my life would grant me the blessing of keeping you by my side. From the first moment I saw you, I knew this was written in our destiny. These hands of ours will never part. I promise you—I will hold your hands until my last breath!"

His words, more than anything, carried a vow of devotion that touched my soul. Without letting go of our hands, I leaned my head against his chest, inhaling his scent deeply and nestling closer to his warmth.

I woke up slowly, stirring uneasily as the remnants of sleep faded away. Looking around, I realized I had fallen asleep in the living room. And worse, I was wrapped around Furkan. What was I supposed to do? If I pretended to be asleep, how long could I keep up the act? Eventually, I'd have to move. For now, I decided to savor the moment and held him tighter.

"Good morning, my love!"

Oh no, he'd noticed I was awake! Hoping he still thought I was asleep, I squeezed my eyes shut.

"My love, I can see in the mirror that you're awake."

I was caught, no escape. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and lifted my head from his chest.

"Good morning!"

I couldn't meet his gaze out of embarrassment. How had we spent the whole night here? Had he not felt uncomfortable? He gently held my chin and pulled me from my thoughts, tilting my head up with his index finger. His eyes sparkled as he gazed at me in awe.

"You're so beautiful. Sleep hasn't taken away even a bit of your beauty. You're like a swan, my dearest."

The way he spoke melted my heart. My ears soaked in his words with pleasure, and my heart seemed to beat just for him.

"How well do we even know each other? We haven't really sat down and had a conversation, yet your love feels aged and deepened, as if it has matured over years. How is this possible?"

He softly brushed my cheek with his thumb and forefinger, his hand moving to my hair, trailing gently to its roots. His touch was feather-light, yet it carried an undeniable weight.

"Maybe it has aged and deepened, my love."

I couldn't understand what he meant. Was he speaking metaphorically? I raised an eyebrow, looking at him with questioning eyes.

"What do you mean?"

He pulled his hand from my hair, leaning back uneasily. He shifted uncomfortably, tilting his head to his shoulder before straightening again. Then he took my hands in his, locking his eyes with mine.

"Merve, there's nothing I want to hide from you."

The serious way he said my name sent a chill through me. I looked at him, trying to brace myself for whatever he was about to say.

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

My expression remained unchanged, still trying to understand what he was getting at.

"At the mosque?"

He shook his head slightly.

"No, my love. We met two years ago, at my bookstore. That's where I first saw you, and where you first spoke to me."

My mouth fell open in shock. I stared at him, unable to form words, waiting for him to continue.

"You seemed troubled. You came to my bookstore because of the flyers Esma had distributed. I had organized a free book event. You came to clear your mind, knowing how much you loved reading."

The pieces weren't fitting together in my head. I felt it was my turn to speak, so I interjected.

"So, you're saying you first saw me there, two years ago. But when you saw me at the mosque, how did you know it was me? It's been years. Don't countless people visit your bookstore every day?"

He rubbed the tip of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, first looking at the ground, then at my hands.

"Do you think you're someone who could be forgotten?"

He was dodging my question, but since we were having this conversation, I needed answers.

"You know that's not what I meant."

He let go of my hands, scratching the back of his neck. He seemed uneasy, his eyes darting left and right as if he were avoiding my gaze. He was hiding something, but he didn't seem ready to reveal it.

"She has the right to know everything, brother!"

It was Esma. I turned to see her leaning against the doorframe, her arms tightly crossed. What was going on here?

"Merve!"

Hearing Furkan call my name, I turned back to him. From the look on his face, I knew I wouldn't like what I was about to hear.

"Your parents…"

He stopped, swallowed hard, but couldn't continue. As he stood to leave, I grabbed his hand, pleading silently with my eyes for him to go on. When he finally delivered the blow, my hand slipped out of his grasp. My ears were already warring with my mind, trying to deny what I had just heard.

"I know who killed them."