After he pulled his lips away from mine, only a few centimeters remained between us. Silence settled over us like a heavy veil. But this silence wasn't unsettling; on the contrary, it was full—full of emotions, breaths, and unspoken words.
I took a deep breath, but there was no way my heart would calm down. I wanted to avert my gaze from Furkan out of embarrassment, but something inside me refused to let me. Looking at him, instead of questioning that moment, felt like the first step toward accepting it.
"I'm not going to ask why you did that." My voice carried a distinct calmness.
Just like me, Furkan didn't take his eyes off my face for even a second. His lips curved slightly—not a smile, not an explanation—more like an outward reflection of an inner peace he had found.
"Even if you did, I wouldn't be able to answer," he said in a low voice. "But I'm not sorry."
He lowered his gaze briefly and turned his head. There was no trace of regret in his expression, no sign that he thought he had made a mistake. But that didn't change the fact that everything had become even more complicated.
"We…" I could only say that much, unable to finish my sentence. As I struggled to swallow the words stuck in my throat, Furkan moved even closer, as if that were possible.
"I know," he said, as if reading the thoughts I couldn't complete. "It just… felt right in that moment."
Our eyes met again. This time, we looked at each other with more clarity. Silence wrapped around us once more, but this time, it wasn't an ending—it felt like a beginning. I couldn't help but wonder what this thing between us was. I had no idea how to proceed. I was completely inexperienced in front of him.
When he took two steps back, the breath I didn't realize I had been holding escaped my lips, burning my lungs on its way out.
"I… I'll check out the other rooms." The determination in his voice contradicted the hesitation in his eyes.
I wanted to say something, but my thoughts were a tangled mess. All I could do was nod before he turned and walked away. The way he ran his hand over the back of his neck and exhaled deeply as he left made me blush involuntarily.
What had just happened between us?
As shame bounced back and forth like a boomerang inside me, I had no idea how I was going to handle it. Realizing I couldn't stand any longer, I sat down on the couch. I clenched my knees tightly, hoping to stop my trembling hands, but this time, my knees wouldn't stop shaking.
I was going to have to remind myself to stay calm at least a hundred times. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, reached for my bag, and pulled out a small hair clip. I pinned my hair back to keep it from falling into my face.
I opened the door I assumed led to the bathroom, relieved when my guess was correct. After gathering the necessary supplies, I returned to the living room and grabbed the broom standing by the door.
As I was sweeping, Furkan walked in and took the broom from my hands. He pressed the button, turning it off.
"You're already exhausted. Let me do it."
I narrowed my eyes and gave him a questioning look.
"I don't feel tired. You should stop, and I'll take care of it."
He shook his head in refusal.
Realizing I wouldn't be able to convince him, I sighed and dropped my shoulders in defeat.
"Alright… Then what am I supposed to do now?"
With one hand holding the broom, he placed the other on my shoulder.
"Nothing. Go and rest."
I shrugged, crossing my arms in front of me.
"No way! Fine, I'll dust the furniture instead."
He just shrugged and turned the machine back on.
Working together, we cleaned the entire place.
Once we were both exhausted, we collapsed onto the couch.
As he stretched his arms along the backrest, I realized I had no space to escape. His arms didn't touch my shoulders, but I still felt like I was under his protection.
He patted his chest with his right hand and gestured for me to lie down.
Without hesitation, I obeyed.
As I settled in, the slight dampness of his shirt from sweat brushed against my face, making me shiver. His scent filled my lungs, making it painfully obvious how hard it was to breathe. But I couldn't let him notice.
"Are you hungry, my love?"
I understood his question, but the way he called me that sent a butterfly effect through my mind, making it impossible to focus.
"Huh?"
He wrapped his arm tightly around me.
"Of course you're hungry. How could I not think of that? How did you manage this long?"
Under normal circumstances, I would have been starving multiple times by now. But strangely, the thought of eating hadn't even crossed my mind.
So, there were moments when even I forgot about food.
I couldn't help but chuckle at that thought.
"What's so funny, little lady?"
He playfully pinched my cheek and pulled out his phone. As he scrolled through his contacts, I watched his every movement, committing them to memory. When he placed the phone against his ear, the flexing of his arm muscles became a visual feast for me.
He spoke fluent English with the person on the other end. I didn't understand a word, but I was still mesmerized.
Before I knew it, he had ended the call and turned to me.
"I'll go get some food. Can you wait for me here?"
I nodded.
He leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to my forehead before walking out the door.
I leaned back, closed my eyes, but within seconds, a memory flooded my mind, making me jolt up from the couch. My face flushed with embarrassment and excitement, and I fanned myself with my hands.
I needed to distract myself.
Seeing the open suitcases on the bed, I decided to unpack.
I hesitated to touch Furkan's suitcase, thinking it wouldn't be right. But since half of it was on top of mine, I tried to pull it aside.
I underestimated my strength.
The suitcase tumbled to the floor, spilling its contents.
Great. Now I had a mess to clean up.
As I picked up his belongings, something caught my eye—a worn-out piece of paper.
Curious, I picked it up, hesitating for a moment before unfolding it.
My heart stopped at the first word.
"My Son…
If this letter has reached you, it means I have departed from this world. Who knows what lies they told you, just like the ones I once told… I wonder how they explained my death! Did they say it was a car accident? Or a heart attack? I wonder what lies they used to console you. You think I'm beating around the bush, don't you? Without further delay, I will tell you everything, my son!
Contrary to what you believe, I am not a doctor who helps people. On the contrary, I am a man who sells lives for money. You have always been proud of me, always wanted to be like me because you never truly knew the kind of man I was! Even if it means stealing your memories, I must confess these truths. I am happy to be dead—at least now, there is no despicable man in your life who deceives you while looking straight into your eyes.
I did everything for your mother, my son. She would have died without a heart transplant. Murat Demirkan promised me he would give me whatever I wanted if I did his dirty work. At first, I hesitated, but seeing your mother's condition worsen day by day pushed me down this path. In the end, I became a mere pawn for the mafia's dirty business. But the evil I committed doesn't end there, my son.
The man who gave your mother her heart—or rather, the man we murdered to take it—was first burned alive in his car after an assassination. Then, they brought him to me. When he arrived, he was still alive. His wife had died at the scene, but he was still breathing. You might think I should have saved him—but I didn't. I didn't, for your mother's sake, my son. Without hesitation, I took his heart and gave it to your mother.
Do I regret it? I don't know! Would I do it again if I had to? I'm not sure! But that man, Murat Demirkan, never left me alone. He even blamed me for his daughter's death.
Your father has one last request from you, though I have no right to ask for anything. Find the daughter of the man I killed. She is all alone in this world. Hold her hand tightly and never let go, my son!
The owner of the heart beating inside your mother is Selçuk Yılmaz, Organized Crime Division, Istanbul Police Headquarters!"
As I read, my entire world came crashing down.
By the time the paper slipped from my hands, it felt like my entire life had fallen with it.
Tears streamed down my face, burning my skin.
A dagger had been thrust into my chest, and I knew that if I moved, death would embrace me.
Time had stopped.
I had returned to the day my parents died, and I was trapped there.
The clock wrapped its noose around my neck, tightening with every second that passed.
I was suffocating.
"Love, I got us some food—"
Furkan's voice cut through the air, but when he saw my state, he froze.
He looked at the paper.
Then at me.
The truth had hit him like a ton of bricks.
And the weight crushing me?
The punishment I was bearing?
How was I supposed to move forward?
Would I walk away from this path the same way I had entered it?
Or was there no turning back?
As the walls between us rose higher and higher, a devastating realization sank into my bones.
Love tightened its bloody noose around my throat.
I took a deep breath, knowing it would be my last.
The last breath that made me feel alive.
Our eyes met, and in that moment, we both knew—this gaze would never happen again.
There was no after.
And then, like a lightning strike, the truth hit me:
I, Merve Yılmaz, had fallen in love with my executioner.