She was thrilled when she arrived for the official shoot for Stockard Prince's new line of perfume. Her enthusiasm was due to her mother's involuntary absence. I urged Alice to convince Elizabeth Blanche that her appearance was unnecessary. Natalie reminds me of a precocious child, jumping on the trampoline like a kid in a jumper. Alice wants her face to be covered as much as possible, performing similar poses from our shoot together, but in midair. I must admit, I am rather impressed at how well she is doing so far. With each thrust of her arms and legs, she strikes her poses in a timely manner, ready for the camera each time. Natalie gracefully strikes a great pose for each shot; I stand by in admiration.
Thanks to Stockard's stubborn insistence on using her own photographer, I am flagrantly admiring my baby doll from afar. Natalie winks at me every so often, noticing my dissatisfied pouting.
"Your face need to be hidden, look away," Fey Long, the photographer, is being harsh on her, so I continue my sulking. Everyone here is so unorganized and disoriented; it's almost driving me nuts. Alice walks over to me and hands me a cup of coffee.
"Thanks."
"Nightmare, huh?" Alice whispers as she slowly takes a sip from her coffee. I contemptuously snicker at her comment and proceed to take a sip from my coffee.
"Don't worry, Stockard claims to know what she is doing," Alice keeps her gaze on Fey as she starts yelling at her assistant.
"Be more gentle, that very expensive equipment!" Fey then starts yelling at him in her native language. I roll my eyes in discontentment. Natalie stops jumping and is now smiling at me. I smile back with a wink.
"What is that all about?" Alice asks with a quirky tone. I look away in an attempt to hide my smile from Alice. She nudges me with her elbow, trying to pry it out of me.
"Well?"
"It's nothing, we've just become close," I finally reply.
"Bull! I know you, Mr. Never-Ever-Again," Alice says a little too loudly, making my face burn up, "I know something is going on, tell me." I shake my head softly.
"Nope," I say with a curling smiling.
"I promise I won't tell anyone, just tell me," Alice eagerly begs.
I look away from her sharp gaze and look back in Natalie's direction.
"We're kind of, seeing each other," I finally say. Alice's mouth is wide open, prompting her to close it with her right hand.
"You are dating again?"
"No," I say immediately, "Just Natalie." Alice returns her attention to the shoot and takes a sip from her coffee.
"I'm happy for you," Alice says softly, "I never thought you'd date a model to be quite frank."
"Yeah, me neither," I almost finish, "...but there's something about her, not just beauty, it's hard to explain-"
"Oh, don't bother," Alice says with a light chuckle, "I'm on marriage number five, I think I've made it clear to God and everyone I don't know jack about love or matters of the heart."
I laugh along with Alice, and look down, remembering now, of all times, my conversation with my mother just a few days ago.
"...you should keep your distance from this girl..."
Why am I remembering this now? I look back up at Natalie who is making a funny face at the photographer while she is yelling at her assistant to fix the lights. Fey looks over her shoulder and Natalie simply rubs her eyes to hide what she was doing.
I know that this feeling I have for Natalie is something relatively new to me, maybe to both of us. Which is exactly why I can't start this relationship off on lies and deceit.
"Okay, everyone! That's a wrap! Good job!" Alice shouts to the crew with her microphone. "Lunch is on me for whoever wants to join!"
Natalie heads to the trailer, gesturing to me to follow. I wait a few moments, until I'm sure it's safe to go. As I make my way into her trailer, Natalie pulls me in by my shirt and kisses me softly. I push back, warning her that I'm still not all the way inside.
"I'm sorry, I forgot, you don't like PDA," Natalie responds sarcastically.
"You say that like you do remember, though," I say as I close the door behind me. Natalie gives me a flirtatious stare and smirks wildly.
"I missed you," Natalie finally says sweetly, "I wanted you to take my pictures, Mr. Demille."
"You still did very well today," I walk over to her small couch and take a seat, "Ms. Fey Long was worried you wouldn't be good." Natalie sneers, making me smile.
"I was more worried she would rip my head off, she was so impatient," Natalie plops on the couch gently beside me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. She plants a soft kiss on my cheek, and I place my hands on her soft, warm arm against my chest.
"I need to talk to you," I muster to find the words. Where do I even begin? Natalie continues to plant her soft kisses along my jaw, moving further down to my lips.
"About what?" she says lowly.
"Well," here it goes, "I haven't dated anyone seriously in a long time, and I really like you, Natalie." She pulls away, looking at me curiously, like a cat.
"Okay?" she sounds as though she will cry.
"I just want to make sure we are completely honest with each other," I place my hand on hers, assuring her that I'm not trying to end this, "...and that you've told me everything you want to tell me." Natalie looks out the small window, with those sad yet adorable eyes. As if she is thinking hard about it, she bites on her bottom lip keeping her gaze on the window.
"How about I tell you something about me, that I've never told anyone?" She looks up at me, more hopeful and trusting than before.
"Okay," she says more cheerfully, "that's a good start."
"My parents are my inspiration for finding my one and only mate for life," I say with a slight smile.
"Oh?" she asks, intrigued, "How so?"
"They met under very unconventional circumstances," I say, making her eyes go wide, "my mother was engaged to someone else when she met my father."
"No way," Natalie replies eagerly.
"No, it's true," I continue, "my father will tell you when you meet him, he loves talking about it, well more like bragging."
"Seems a little egotistic," Natalie puts her arms around me again, and rests her head against my shoulder.
"He is a little egotistic, but he's also a great husband and father," I lift my arm over the small of her back, "Anyway, my father, who was in New York at the same time as my mother and her then fiancé, were there on business and decided to go get lunch at a place near Times Square." Natalie is tracing her fingers along the lines of my hands.
"What was your mother and her then fiancé doing in New York?"
"My mother is originally from Spain, and they were there vacationing just before their wedding," I intertwine my fingers into hers as she lightly caresses my hands with her fingers.
"That explains your very black hair," Natalie says, and strokes my hair.
"They wanted to take a picture together in front of Times Square, and my father happened to be passing by, so they asked him if he could take a picture of them," Natalie begins to chuckle lightly.
"I think I know where this is going," she says with a big smile.
"Now hold on, it gets better," I pull her hand and kiss it softly, "my father was in a rush to get his lunch and return to his work, but my mother immediately captured his heart." Natalie sighs dreamily into my arm. I suppose my mother is right: I do have my father's romantic side. "He steadily agreed to take the picture and claims that he knew he had to have my mother in his life."
"Did he steal your mother away in that moment?" she asks sweetly.
"No, it took time, but yes, he did." Natalie begins to blush, perhaps because of the way I said it.
"Don't worry, he didn't take her away on his shoulders like a caveman," I assure her. Natalie gets up and pulls some bottles of water out of the mini fridge.
"Want one?" she asks, and I shake my head. She sits down next to me and looks at me with eager eyes.
"So, after my father took the pictures, he introduced himself to them, obviously taking an interest in my mother. Her 'then' fiancé got pissed and insisted they return to their hotel, and my father, being the sly dog he is, slipped his business card into my mother's hand."
"That's so egotistic," Natalie replies, kissing my fingertips, "Did your mother slap him?"
"No, she actually was enticed by my father, and says even now, that she knew she was about to marry the wrong man," I stroke my chin, remembering the memory of my mother and father telling my brothers and I their story during dinner, years ago. "She met up with him a few days later, and they talked until nightfall, leaving my mother smitten by his charms."
"Where did they meet up?"
"Hmm," I scratch my head trying to remember, "they met in Central Park, near the Belvedere Castle."
"Mm, how romantic," Natalie raises her hands up to her chest and nestles her face into my chest.
"You've been to Central Park?" I ask.
"Only once with my father, when I was twelve," Natalie says sorrowfully.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to make you sad, I just-"
"I'm not sad, I'm happy," Natalie says a little unconvincingly, "You're telling me something special to you, of course I'm happy."
"Well, alright then," I'm not entirely satisfied with her answer, but I don't want to pry too much about her father.
"So, tell me how they finally got together," she says and takes a sip from her water bottle.
"My mother waited for him at the airport, heading back to Spain with her then fiancé, and my father almost didn't make it," I say with a wicked smile. Natalie lightly slaps my arm and stares down at me.
"You're messing with me, that's so cliche," Natalie says a little cheerfully, leading me to believe she's not as sad as I thought. I laugh at her comment.
"Cliche? How is that cliche?" I ask wholeheartedly. Natalie glares at me with a pouting lip. I reach in to kiss her protruding lips. "My mother went back to Spain and ended the engagement after staying in contact with my father. My father flew to Spain and proposed to her shortly after discovering she was no longer engaged."
"Wasn't your mother's ex-fiancé furious?" Natalie asks.
"Absolutely," I say, "Although, my mother didn't stick around to find out. She came here to the U.S. and had me a year later, and I have never seen them fight in my life so far." I sigh and look down at my feet. "I had always wished to find a woman to be with like that, but-" Natalie holds my face gently towards hers and smiles.
"Am I the woman?" she asks, making me blush, "How many girls have you told this story to?"
"Just you," I reply, and Natalie laughs with a hint of mocking in her tone and sits up.
"Yeah right," she finally says, leaning on her lap. I grab her hand and softly grip it, making her look at me.
"It's true, why would I lie to you?" I say earnestly. Natalie gulps down hard and clears her throat.
"I suppose you heard then?" Natalie responds with a light chuckle.
"Heard what?"
"About my trip to the mental institution," she leans back into my arms and sighs deeply. I begin petting her head gently and kissing her forehead.
"I don't enjoy idle gossip," I say lowly, "It's petty, and not always true." Natalie looks away, trying to hide her tears.
"So, you want the real story?" Natalie asks, with a deeper voice than usual.
"Not if you don't want to tell me, "I stupidly say with hesitance in my voice.
"If I tell you, do you swear not to repeat it?" I stay silent long enough to make her question my motives. "Jacque?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just-"
"But you know already?"
"No, I don't know, that's why I want it to come from you," I explain as gently as I can. Natalie looks away, a little calmer now, she turns back around to me with tears forming quickly and takes a deep breath.
"I attempted suicide," she finally says.
"What?"
"I took some of my stepfathers prescription sleeping pills, and my brothers found me. I was rushed to the hospital and put into a mental institution shortly after my recovery."
"Natalie," I pull her into my harms tightly, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she says coldly, "I couldn't bear looking at myself in the mirror anymore, not after-" she stops and covers her mouth.
"After what?" I pry.
"After my mother made me-" Natalie falls into my lap and starts to cry.
"Natalie..." I stroke her hair as she lets out her cries into my lap. I grab a tissue off the counter and hand it to her. She wipes the tears off her cheeks, smearing her mascara all over her face. I grab a container of makeup remover wipes from the table next to us and begin wiping her make up off.
"I couldn't live with myself, it was so hard," Natalie continues between sobbing, "I only did it once, and swore never to do it again, but then you came along, and changed everything."
"Natalie," I smile at her, "I don't know what you're talking about, if you don't want to tell me, it's okay, we can-"
"My mother," Natalie cut off, "she made me have an abortion." I felt my eyes open widely as the words came out of her mouth. "I wasn't lying to you when I said I never had a boyfriend," Natalie quickly says, making my heart skip a beat with the realization.
"So, it was one of your mother's friends?" I ask coolly.
"I-I, can't tell you," Natalie says timidly, "I swore to never speak of it again." I clench my fists tightly and rise from my seat. I walk over to the end of the trailer and back in contemplation.
"What's wrong?" Natalie asks worriedly. I take a deep breath and turn to her with my fingers to my lips. Natalie looks so sad that it breaks my heart. I decided at that moment I can't let her be; I can't allow her mother to take advantage of her. I need to do something. Natalie pulls the hem of my shirt with her small hand, and I notice a small scar above her knuckle. I gently grasp her hand and kiss the scar. A little calmer, I pull her into a kiss, more passionately than before. As I pull back, her face flushed, I kneel down, looking at her intently.
"Let's go," I say.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"Let's get married." Natalie's eyes well up with tears and she cries into her hands.
"You don't want me," Natalie cries, "I'm too damaged." I kiss her hands and smile.
"No such thing," I say, making Natalie cry more. "Come on, let's go," I offer after I get up.
"You barely know me, why do you want to marry me?" Natalie wipes her tears away with her hands.
"I am a patient man, I will wait for you to love me the way I do for you, but-," I surprise myself at my own words, "All I know is I can't let you go back to your mother." Natalie looks at my serious expression, wavering her thoughts with her eyes.
"But-"
"Look, if you don't want to, I can't force you," I say. Natalie stops sobbing and looks down at her feet. "But, if you want to wait until you've gained recognition for your work today and gain your independence, then-"
"No," Natalie clenches the tissue tightly in her fists, "I don't want to wait." I smile and offer my hand out to her. She grabs my hand and jumps onto me, kissing me passionately.
"My mother will try to stop us from being together," she suddenly says, "Are you sure about this?" I wasn't sure what she meant, but I knew in my heart I wanted her in my life.
"Since the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted to be with you, regardless of the obstacles," Natalie takes a moment to think it over.
"Okay," she replies, and wraps her arm around mine, "The future Mrs. Natalie Ramos is ready." I chuckle softly at her, then reach in for a kiss, but she stops me with her fingers.
"Not until the wedding night," she says seductively, making my face as red as a crisp apple. We step out of the trailer and make our way to my car. Alice looks over as I open the door for Natalie, and waves to me.
I don't know what the future holds, or how we will carry on afterwards, but I am certain I want to spend the rest of my life with her. As I drive down the I-15 freeway towards Las Vegas, Natalie holds my hand tightly, even in her sleep. And I feel at ease, knowing I'm doing the right thing.