Jasper had only just finished his job with the basilisk—now officially his best friend—and was walking back to town with a sense of accomplishment. Sure, he had almost been turned to stone, but it all worked out in the end. Basilisk buddies for life.
Prunella was waiting for him outside the tavern when he arrived, leaning against the doorframe and looking like she already knew how ridiculous the whole basilisk situation had gone down.
"So, how'd it go?" she asked, her tone far too chipper. "Did you impress the big lizard with your gourmet fruit salad?"
Jasper grinned. "You bet I did. Best fruit salad ever. You wouldn't believe the drama I had to go through to get that basilisk to try it, though. Honestly, that thing is more high-maintenance than my pet hamster."
Prunella raised an eyebrow. "Your pet hamster?"
"Yeah, don't ask. Anyway, basilisk's now on my team. All it took was some fruit and a lot of nonsense."
"Well, I'm glad it worked out for you," she said, patting him on the back. "But you're not done yet."
Jasper froze. "I'm sorry, what?"
"You've got another beast to tame," she said brightly. "It's a sloth."
"A sloth?!" Jasper exclaimed. "What's next? A tortoise? A snail? A sloth is your idea of a challenge?!"
Prunella rolled her eyes. "It's not just any sloth. It's a magical one. And it's become a problem. People in the town are starting to complain. The sloth's just... well, it's being too lazy. We need you to talk some sense into it."
Jasper stared at her. "You want me to go tame a sloth that's too lazy? What am I going to do? Shake it awake and tell it to 'get a move on?'"
"Exactly," Prunella said, grinning. "You're getting it now."
"I don't know how to feel about this," Jasper muttered, rubbing his temples. "The last thing I need is a sloth acting like it's got all the time in the world... because it does."
Prunella just clapped him on the back again. "Go make some magic happen, hero."
The trek to the sloth's territory was surprisingly uneventful, which Jasper found oddly suspicious. He half-expected some other over-the-top challenge, like a gang of enchanted squirrels or a herd of angry beavers with attitude problems. But no. This time, it was just trees, bushes, and an alarming lack of danger.
After a short hike, they finally reached the tree where the sloth resided. It was a big one—massive, towering over everything, with vines hanging down like lazy ropes. The sloth was hanging upside down, of course, looking like it was taking a nap... or maybe it had just decided to give up on life entirely. It was hard to tell.
Jasper scratched his head. "Okay... here goes nothing."
He took a deep breath and approached the sloth's branch. It barely looked at him, instead focusing on the leaves in front of its face. Oh great, Jasper thought. It's one of those types of sloths. The ones that really don't want to be bothered.
"Hey!" Jasper shouted, jumping up and down below the tree. "Oi, sloth! Wake up! You've got work to do!"
The sloth yawned. It was the most unbothered, leisurely yawn Jasper had ever seen. "Mmmm... what is it, human?" the sloth groaned lazily. "I'm in the middle of my 19th nap."
"Your 19th nap?" Jasper exclaimed. "You've got a whole village complaining about your laziness! You need to... like... I don't know... get off your butt and move for once?"
The sloth blinked slowly. "But I'm so comfortable up here, and everything takes too long. Why rush? What's the point of moving if you don't have to?"
Jasper's face twitched. "Because you're literally scaring people with how lazy you are! People are avoiding the town square, thinking you'll somehow fall on them!"
The sloth lazily extended one arm and scratched its belly. "Mmmm... sounds like a them problem. You humans are always so rushed. Maybe you should try slowing down. Life is way better when you just... hang out."
Jasper threw his hands up in exasperation. "How did I end up here? I'm a beast tamer, not a motivational speaker for sloths!"
"You should try it," the sloth said in a surprisingly wise tone. "You could teach people to take a nap in the middle of the day. Trust me, it'll change their lives."
Jasper blinked. "That's... really bad advice. You know that, right?"
The sloth blinked slowly again. "It's not bad advice. It's life-changing."
"Yeah, well, right now, you're life-changing the entire town into thinking the apocalypse is nigh because of your ridiculous laziness!" Jasper said, crossing his arms. "I'm supposed to tame you, not join you in this mess. You need to get moving!"
The sloth let out another yawn. "Mmmm... You know, I've thought about getting up and doing things. But I'll tell you what, human. If you can get me down from this tree and convince me that moving is worth it, maybe... just maybe... I'll cooperate. But no promises."
Jasper stared at the sloth. "This is ridiculous. Alright, fine. If it'll get you to move, I'll help you down. But you owe me."
The sloth smirked, its eyes half-closed. "Oh, I'm sure I owe you... but only if you can do it slowly. After all, what's the rush?"
Jasper was starting to lose his patience. "I am so done with this."
But there was no backing out now. With a deep sigh, Jasper climbed the tree and began the slow, painful process of coaxing the sloth down. The whole thing took approximately two hours, during which the sloth complained about the lack of "comfortable branches" and "too much movement."
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the sloth was on the ground. It stretched out dramatically, like it had just completed a marathon. "Well, I'm down," it said, as if it had just completed a great accomplishment. "Now... what do I do?"
Jasper felt like he was going to lose it. "You need to stop being so lazy and actually do something useful! Help the town! Make some... I don't know... progress!"
The sloth blinked, looked at him, and then, without any warning, just plopped back onto the ground. "Nah," it said, clearly satisfied with itself. "Too much effort."
"Are you serious?" Jasper shouted, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm gonna lose it."
And with that, the sloth promptly began to nap right where it had fallen, its soft snores the only thing that filled the air. Jasper, defeated and fully aware that he had no chance of changing a sloth's mind, sat down next to it.
"I really hope the next job is a bit easier," he muttered to himself. "Because this? This was a disaster."