Jasper had barely finished his ordeal with the lazy sloth when he received his next task from Prunella. Of course, the universe never gave him a break. It wasn't like he could just sit back and relax with his newly acquired basilisk friend. No, he had more beast taming to do.
The next challenge? A behemoth.
No, not the kind of behemoth that makes you quake in your boots with terror. Not the kind of behemoth that rampages through villages, crushing buildings and causing chaos. No, this particular behemoth had... standards. It was picky about its food. More specifically, it only wanted one kind of food—spicy food.
Jasper wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry.
The behemoth's lair was located on the outskirts of the kingdom, just past the enchanted swamp that no one had dared to cross in years. Naturally, Jasper was the one who had to go through it, because why not? He already had a basilisk to deal with. Why not add an angry, food-obsessed monster to the mix?
He stepped through the swamp, carefully navigating around the slimy, glowing puddles. Every now and then, something would jump out at him—usually a frog that was at least twice the size of a regular one, or a snake that was more interested in being a giant noodle than an actual snake.
"This is great," Jasper muttered, dodging a particularly nasty-looking jellyfish that seemed to be floating in mid-air for no reason. "Just another walk in the park."
It took a solid hour to wade through the swamp, dodging every bizarre creature that tried to eat him or just give him a weird look. Eventually, he reached the behemoth's lair, which looked like the remains of a collapsed mountain. Boulders and trees were scattered everywhere. The ground trembled slightly as Jasper approached.
"Alright, you giant picky eater," he muttered to himself. "I've got no time for your nonsense. I've got fruit salads, jerky, and questionable mushrooms at the ready. Let's do this."
He stepped into the cave, and immediately, the ground shook harder. A shadow fell over him, and when he looked up, he saw it.
The behemoth was a gigantic, lumbering creature. It looked like a massive bear crossed with an elephant, with a belly so round it looked like it might burst any second. But what made the behemoth stand out was the fact that it was grumpier than a toddler denied candy.
"You've got five seconds to explain why I should let you live," the behemoth grumbled, its voice like rolling thunder. "If you don't have something spicy for me, I'll eat you for breakfast."
Jasper didn't even flinch. "Well, that's just lovely. I've got exactly what you need, big guy," he said, holding up a small barrel. "This, my friend, is the finest hot sauce the kingdom has ever known. It's spicy enough to set your tongue on fire and then bring it back to life. So, what do you say?"
The behemoth squinted at the barrel suspiciously. "Hot sauce? That's it?"
"Uh, yeah. What else do you want? Some enchanted chili peppers? A fire-breathing dragon's breath?" Jasper asked, deadpan.
The behemoth scratched its chin, looking like it was thinking about it for way too long. "Well... maybe you've got something here. But I've got standards, human. I don't just eat anything."
Jasper's eye twitched. "Listen, I'm really not in the mood for a full-on food critique. Just try the hot sauce. You'll thank me later."
The behemoth rolled its eyes, then snatched the barrel from Jasper's hands. With a grunt, it popped the lid off and splashed some of the sauce into its massive mouth.
Jasper waited, holding his breath.
For a moment, nothing happened. The behemoth just stood there, looking confused. Then, its face went red, steam started pouring out of its ears, and it started stomping around like it had just sat on a cactus.
"WHAT IS THIS?! THIS... THIS IS THE SPICIEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" the behemoth roared, running in circles.
Jasper crossed his arms. "Yeah, that's the idea. Pretty spicy, right?"
"I CAN'T BREATHE! I NEED WATER! WHERE'S THE WATER?!" the behemoth screamed, now stumbling like it was trying to find the nearest ocean.
"Dude, chill. It's just hot sauce," Jasper said. "Look, I get it. You want some fire in your life, but I didn't think you'd overreact this much. It's not the end of the world. You're gonna be fine in a second."
"IT'S BURNING THROUGH MY WHOLE BODY!" the behemoth wailed.
Jasper facepalmed. "Alright, alright. You need water, fine. I'll get you some."
He rummaged through his bag, pulling out a bottle of what he hoped was regular water, not some random swamp water that had been tainted by magic frogs. He handed it to the behemoth, who immediately chugged it down like it was the greatest thing to ever happen to it.
"Ahhh..." the behemoth sighed, the redness in its face slowly fading. "That's better. Okay, okay, I admit it. That was impressive. But I still want more."
Jasper raised an eyebrow. "More?"
The behemoth grinned. "I'm a connoisseur of heat. You've got something spicier than that, right?"
Jasper blinked, taking a step back. "Hold on, are you telling me you want more... spicy food?"
The behemoth nodded eagerly. "Yes. Bring me the hottest thing you've got. If it doesn't make me breathe fire, I'm not impressed."
"Why do I feel like this is a trap?" Jasper muttered to himself. He was already regretting his choices.
But, of course, he pulled out a small vial filled with a mysterious glowing red powder. "Fine. If you want the heat, I've got something hotter than hot sauce. This right here is dragon ash. One sprinkle of this, and you'll be wishing for the sweet embrace of cold water again."
The behemoth's eyes gleamed with excitement. "DRAGON ASH?! I want it! NOW!"
"Alright, alright," Jasper said, tossing the vial in the air and catching it. He sprinkled a little bit of the dragon ash onto the behemoth's tongue.
The behemoth inhaled deeply, and then... it happened.
It started spewing fire. No, seriously. Actual fire, like some sort of walking furnace. The ground around it began to smolder, and Jasper had to dodge a stream of flames that almost burned him alive.
"That's... that's way too much!" Jasper shouted, backing away as the behemoth's fiery rampage continued.
"I CAN FEEL THE HEAT IN MY BONES!" the behemoth screamed, flailing around and accidentally setting the cave on fire. "THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED! KEEP IT COMING!"
Jasper sighed, trying to keep his distance while putting out the fires with a conveniently placed bucket of water from his bag. "Great, now I'm stuck with a fiery behemoth who's become addicted to spicy food. This is just fantastic."
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the behemoth calmed down, panting heavily and covered in sweat. "Okay, okay. You're good, human. I'll help your town with whatever you need. But... don't bring me any more spicy stuff unless you want me to burn down the entire kingdom."
Jasper, dripping with sweat and covered in soot, gave the behemoth a deadpan look. "I really need a vacation."