It's been a week since I became a woman for the first time.
Not long after I returned to being a man, I fell into a deep sleep and woke up to check the time on my phone, thinking I had had a strange and very realistic dream.
And, just in case, I looked through my album and found a bunch of photos I took when I turned into a woman… .
"So, in this assignment, the important thing about the role in the information design award is not the name of the role itself or what the role is, but the relationship between the roles, that is, the connection, and the importance of the role, the importance and necessity according to the role depending on what the harm and the damage are…."
Even while presenting the PPT assignment I had done in class in a foreign language, one thought kept running through my head.
After looking at the photos on my phone one by one, I could see that I had really turned into a woman. After that, I repeatedly entered the commands that I remembered as 'how to turn into a woman and turn back into a man': urinating, washing, eating soap, and licking a stone. I confirmed that I had really turned into a woman and turned back into a man.
I've put the yellow clay soap in my mouth so many times that now I can taste it every time I wash my face.
After that, he tried various things, such as not urinating and only washing his face, and even at times other than the morning, and checked the transformation conditions one by one, and found out that in order to turn into a woman, he had to put a stone in his mouth.
After that, I changed it several times and found out three things.
First, you don't need to eat soap.
Second, the woman I have changed into seems to be a mixture of a game character and a real woman.
Third, if you change twice in a short period of time, you will fall asleep quickly.
After that, I searched my head over and over again to find out who the woman I had turned into was, and while looking through screenshots of the sex game powerhouse, Sekkairim, I was able to find a woman who looked quite similar to me.
Objectively speaking, my appearance as a woman was a bit difficult to see as Korean.
Her appearance and body, which give off the impression of being mixed Eastern and Western, are a bit of a stretch to call her a Korean woman. After all, more than 80-90% of Korean women are metaphors... Her butt isn't that big either.
After thinking about it for a few days, I was able to hypothesize several reasons why he looked that way.
First, because I'm an otaku and I thought the prettiest girl was this type of girl. In other words, if I turned into my ideal type of girl.
Second, the woman I was thinking of happened to have that kind of appearance. In other words, she could change into whatever shape she wanted to change into.
Third, there was actually a person who looked like that, and the 'stone' had the ability to turn into that woman.
In the second case, I spent the whole day looking at pictures of other women as an experiment and when I transformed into a woman, I realized that my assumption was wrong because my appearance was the same as when I first transformed.
First of all, there is no way to check right now… .
Thirdly, to find out the truth, I would have to have another man lick the stone, but that seemed like a big risk in many ways, whether it would change or not, so I couldn't even experiment with it.
As a result, I couldn't figure out why my appearance changed to that… .
One of the things I was able to figure out after living as a woman and staying home all day on my days off was that the food I ate as a woman would come out as poop like a man.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, this is a rather scary fact.
If the contents of the intestines do not change or disappear… if I, a woman, were to have sex and ejaculate inside the vagina, where on earth would the semen go?
scary.
It's truly terrifying… .
It's not that I necessarily want to have sex and have it done, but I'm just saying that it's scary when I think about the possible outcomes.
And when I had a stomachache, I tried transforming just in case and found that the stomachache went away.
Is it the body structure that changes, or is it the internal organs that change and the immune system also changes?
I wonder if I'll change into a completely different person, or if I'll only physically change gender. I don't know what to do with it, but... Well, if things like genetics and blood type change, it'd be surprising, and I feel like it would give me more freedom in terms of my daily life.
More than anything, ever since I realized that I could turn into a woman, I've been thinking about how it would be like to relieve stress by turning into a woman...
It might be a bit too much, but being able to turn into a woman means I can do whatever I want.
For example, murder, fraud… .
After you commit the crime by turning into a woman, you can return to your life as a man.
A fictional character who doesn't exist in this world scammed me, and I was just lucky enough to pick up the money and use it… .
Maybe it was because I had a lot of things I had kept inside and endured, but as soon as I found out that I could turn into a girl, the first thing that came to mind was to kill the guy I really didn't like at school.
… When I think about whether I should really kill him, I end up holding back, thinking I should just endure it one more time… .
Another thing I wonder is if there is a way for a woman to sell her body and for a man to make a living with that money.
Now that I know that it can be changed… I guess I should use it as much as I can. Wouldn't it be better to use it?
Recently, I've been trying out different things, wondering if I, who's turned into a woman, might have some kind of superpower.
Like sitting there for about 10 minutes staring at a can of cola and thinking about it, or staring into space and thinking about a bra over and over again…
I'm studying my body as if I were a cartoon or novel character, and on the one hand, I'm worried that I'm thinking too roughly like I'm setting up a cartoon, but on the other hand, I think that since it's such an unconventional thing, it would be better for me to think about it in an unconventional way.
My head hurts so much because I've been thinking about various issues related to becoming a woman lately.
I'm using my brain in a way I don't normally use, and my mouth starts watering and I want to eat something sweet.
"Determining roles is sometimes determined by space, and sometimes by tools. Here, tools are not limited to material tools such as knives, plates, and books, but also include knowledge, thoughts, and physical things such as hands and feet. In short, for a person without eyes, a person with eyes becomes a person who is 'necessary to see something on their behalf.' Ultimately, what is important for the two roles to interact is that they have the same thoughts and goals…."
ah….
I don't want to announce it.
My head is spinning. I'm going through this bizarre thing where I'm turning into a woman and then a man, and I have to go about my daily life.
I'm stressed.
I wanted to give a rough presentation, but I thought I should first present everything I had thought about, and so I presented my thoughts on the topic given to me this time, 'Space, Role, Tool: Roles, Exchange, and Transition in Information Design (The Role Positions Should Be Able to Change)'.
"…That's all I've thought about this time."
After finishing the presentation and as I was about to sit down, the professor suddenly opened his mouth.
"Um…Can anyone understand this presentation?"
…no one in the class raises a hand.
The professor smiled faintly, adjusted his glasses, and spoke to the other students in the class.
"The topic, purpose, and idea itself are very good and correct, but I feel like they delved into the topic too much. Still, from my perspective, it was a very satisfying presentation. Honestly, I think the explanation of 'role' was the best."
"thank you."
"In one of the examples you gave me before, you mentioned that the roles of teachers and students change. Could you tell me about that again?"
The professor asked me about what I had explained the last time we were alone after class.
"Ah, so. If there is a foreign professor and an international student, and the professor wants to learn English but the international student's native language is English, in this case, the international student can become the professor's teacher, and if the professor teaches the international student's native language, the professor can become the international student's teacher... In this role reversal, what is needed is a common goal of 'learning a foreign language', and in a situation where the roles of these partners can change, they don't necessarily have to completely change their roles.
So... they just have to change the roles of 'teaching' and 'learning', and if it's a female professor and a male international student, they don't need to change their genders. Just because it's a role reversal, don't think about completely changing roles. Just change each other's goals, harm, and harm caused..."
As I was explaining, another student raised his hand.
"Um… I think this story is a bit… too difficult. It's more like a literary, philosophical story…."
…what you presented was quite difficult.
I clearly remember that the student's presentation was about the problem of space, that the name changes depending on the difference in space between the top and bottom of the desk, and that space seems absolute, but in reality, it's like it doesn't exist or something. Was it just a thought from the perspective of looking at space as a background?
When I drew space, tools, and roles as three circles as a counterargument, the outside can be seen as space, the middle as a role, and the center as a tool, and I brought up the opinion that tools and roles cannot exist without space… .
Oh, I don't know.
This assignment was just too difficult… Honestly, it gave me a headache.
Why on earth do we have to talk about this when studying art?
"It's not just me, but all the kids who presented today seemed to have literary and philosophical backgrounds… Were we…by any chance students from the literature or philosophy departments…?"
When I said this with a smile, the whole class started giggling.
I returned to my seat after the professor said that what I had presented was too difficult to understand and that he had found it interesting.
"Tae-soo-ah, Tae-soo-ah."
As I returned to my seat, the student sitting behind me poked me in the back in Korean.
As someone who goes to college in a foreign country, I am treated as an international student by students in this country. And the student behind me is also a Korean international student like me… .
The only difference is that he is a problem student who always skips class using church as an excuse.
"why?"
"What are you doing today?"
Since I don't go to class every day, I don't even know what the class content or homework was.
Sometimes, when I hear rumors that there is homework, I come to class like this, but I just leave without even listening.
After that, I went to a cafe inside the building and had coffee and chatted with other 'Nallari Korean students'… .
"…This is, you know, the homework the teacher gave each group before."
"Is this homework?"
Even if I say it with a sad face, you're already doomed since you don't belong in any group. There's no way.
"And this presentation is a continuation of the previous presentation, so it might be a little difficult to understand."
"What should I do? Taesu, can't you do it with me?"
"The professor has already distributed all the lessons…."
Trying to do parasitic things again… .
Since I already got bullied a lot in my first year, I know what would happen if I were in the same group here. Everyday, he wouldn't show up to class, wouldn't answer my phone, and then one night, he'd suddenly call me at 12:30 and say, "What should we do about our homework?".
And when you ask them why they don't come out and what they are busy with, they say things like, "I'm going to church," "God is calling me," "I have a retreat," and "You should come too."
It's not that I particularly hate Christianity, but I actually think that if you believe correctly, there's nothing more rewarding than faith, but I really hate people like this.
Do you believe in God, or do you go to a place called church?
"Ah…what should I do…?"
"Go ahead and ask the professor after class. He's a nice guy."
I wish you would stop relying on me… .
If there's something in return for expecting something, these guys always do this and run away, and when they're done, they just say thank you and it's over.
If that were all, it wouldn't matter. If I were doing my homework by myself, they'd even find fault with my homework, saying it was weird.
I'd rather do it all myself...
As I was talking as usual, smiling on the outside and cooling off on the inside, I suddenly remembered something about turning into a woman.
What if I turned into a woman, went to church, and beat up a bunch of people?
…even if I actually did it, I didn't think anyone would find out that I was the culprit.
Being two people myself guarantees me a considerable degree of freedom… .
I also checked my muscle strength a bit after turning into a woman, and it wasn't much different from when I was a man.
Am I weak, or am I strong because I am a woman?
In any case, I think the strength itself is usually better than that of a woman.
Is it because I have a bit of a physique?
Or maybe it's because my female body is so well-balanced that it almost seems like it was artificially created.
Unlike when I was a man, my body doesn't show any fat…
I should say that it was quite sexy. I was looking at my own body, but since it was a woman's body, I could objectively evaluate it, but just looking at it made me want to get pregnant.
It may be a matter of taste, but just looking at the butt, it has such volume that I want to rub it right away….
It might be a bit difficult to see him as Korean.
Since I can speak Korean, if you look closely at things like hair color and eye color, I look like a Korean person. But I also look Western, but I don't necessarily look Western…
When I think about it in my head, I can definitely feel that it has a somewhat unique charm.
Actually, it's a bit annoying.
… I would turn into a woman and film myself masturbating, and then when I was a man, I would masturbate with that as a side dish.
I masturbate while looking at myself… .
As expected, I am so beautiful… .
… narcissism is serious.
While I was thinking about this and that, class ended.
The Korean student who was sitting behind me left the classroom before the class ended.
And then I sent a text message to my phone saying, 'When you're done, bring me your bag.'
… I don't like myself a little bit for bringing it to you obediently while complaining, "Am I your subordinate?"
Should I call this kind or foolish?