I sit in quite repose, penning verses of my poetry. Within my chamber,cold and cloaked in darkness,the only illumination cast forth by the paint glow of my second phone. How utterly amusing,and yet absurd, that having just read Lolita, I should immediately compose such nonsensical poetry as this
And how melancholic it is when the song Cry By Cigarettes After Sex plays on my spotify.
"I need to tell you something
my heart just can't be faithful
for long.
I swear ill only make you cry"
Unbeknownst to me, tears began to fall and my heart ached bitterly, like that of a pregnant woman wife left behind as her husband marches off to war in the days of world war II.
I know not what I do, nor what i desire, oftentimes, a could not sadness and anger descends upon me without reason. I am a stranger to happiness, for I know not what it is.
I yearn to be love deeply yet I know not how to reveal my affection to the one I cherish. Perhaps it is for this reason that other do not
take kindly to me. I am utterly broken.
Ah, now the song young and beautiful by Lana Del Rey plays on my spotify. A longing stirs within to marry yet, who would ever desire me? No one, not a single soul!
"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?"
I feel like a deep yearning to walk through the aisle of church, or within the sound walls of the Sagrada Familia and Cologne Cathedral. Oh lord, I beseech thee, grant my humble wish
It is now the hour of nine and twenty minutes past evening. I find myself weeping one more, and without cause. This is state of being is more displeasing to me.
"Oh Lord, I beseech thee, deliver me from this misery." I spoke within my heart, my hand resting upon my chest.
Two coins lie upon my table, a highlighter to mark that I am but a nobody. Four books scattered about. Truly, it is a most ordinary night.