Rejection the pinnacle of a crushed-dream. The collective gathering of all the negative thoughts we as humans shoulder. Truthfully the boy didn't wish this feeling on anyone else as the gravity and depth of it was enough to drown a man. Perhaps he was speaking from experience as the seat he sat in was awfully low, as his body sunk into it as if he was slowly becoming one with the couch underneath him. Although he'd done his best to hide it, the face—or rather faces across from him seemed to know the feeling all too well.
"So you got rejected. Man I feel for you…"
In truth it wasn't all that hard to find a soul who faced the depravity of that feeling. Rejection, that is. A universal feeling the boy was sure the ones across him had felt was well, perhaps the entire world had felt this feeling at a time. Though to the boy how could this be true with how many men he'd seen with beautiful girls on their arm. It simply didn't add up.
Normally, one would expect sympathy for such a predicament and that would be the natural response. If it's such a universal feeling,one could better understand what someone's going through no? You'd think that'd be the case but the prospect which Rowan found himself facing has differed his opinion on this stance.
"Is what I'd say if you weren't the biggest loser I've ever seen!"
"Hahaha!"
The men in front of him laughed as they sat in front a fire not too far from Rowan himself. They were younger men around his age one with a slender figure while the others had a bit more muscle and fat to them. They seemed to be carrying all manner of weapons from sword, staff, to shield. Though no manner of weapon had prepared Rowan for the predicament which he found himself in now which transcended the normality of physical blows.
"Did you really think she'd fall for you?! What were you thinking?!"
"W-well I was caught up in the moment! The timing was right and I didn't see the harm in it so I thought I should just... go for it!"
"And go for it you did, oh man what I wouldn't give to have seen your face when it happened!"
"Will you guys take this seriously?! How would you feel If I came in laughing at your rejection I don't think you'd find it funny then!"
Truthfully, it was no laughing matter though Rowan could see how one wouldn't take it seriously when factoring in the very real insanity of life. Regardless of that he couldn't help but want to lay waste to the feeling and be pathetic a bit longer. If love really was such a powerful feeling why was it so common for rejection to be brushed aside? Though that may have been due to his gender more than anything else.
The men in front of him didn't seem to care though, as their feelings on the matter circulated through their laughter. That perilous feeling called rejection had jaded him quite a bit so he couldn't imagine himself laughing that way for awhile. It was funny how rejection was an impairment of sorts, even if it was an emotional one. Rowan Agoul was the proof of this as he slumped into the couch with a print of his pathetic body still present in the cushions. How could they laugh like that? Had they forgotten this feeling—how broken they'd once felt themselves?
Or were they laughing bitterly at the prospect of having to remember that fact? Rowan couldn't tell, but figured it must've been different for him.
"Well yeah but none of us have ever been rejected by our party leader before. Let alone the hero of Geonosia!"
Rowan watched as the bigger boned man downed a cup of coffee with a small smile on his face. Rowan wondered how did he ever fix his lips to smile like that? It didn't seem like something he'd be able to recall right now or anytime soon as his heart didn't seem to be working. Rowan couldn't tell if he was jealous of that smile or not, as the big man put his cup on the table wiping the brown substance off the front of his lips.
"It's kind of a big deal."
"My life is completely over."
"Oh cheer up Rowan I doubt everyone around here knows right? Give it some time I bet this'll blow over in no time!"
The slender man,Matthew who was also tall spoke as he walked to the door a world of white appeared as he opened it as snow fell to the ground. But that wasn't the main attraction there and as if it knew that it sprinkled itself on top of the attraction as if adding to the things features. "Thing" wasn't right though as a woman with short green hair and fiery orange eyes had been sipping on a cup in the snowy landscape. Her outfit pressing against every cute feature on her body, her scarf wrapped around her neck draping down the sides of a long winter jacket. And boots that could only have been new imprinting into the snow as she tapped her feet. This woman was, Mika an arch-priest Rowan knew through a mutual acquaintance.
Though Rowan didn't want to think of that mutual acquaintance as her name was already endlessly traversing the thoughts in his brain. Elara, the hero of Geonosia.
"Oh Rowan! It's you! I heard about Elara, too bad!"
"Or I could be wrong and everyone knows about it! Just how in the hell did you find out so fast?!" Yelled Matthew.
"Im Elara's best friend remember? It's my job to know trivial things!"
"Trivial?"
Asked Matthew and Mika ignored him and jumped over to the couch where a dejected looking Rowan Agoul had been sitting. He hadn't been sitting there by his own means, of course no one was making him sit there though he didn't feel he had the ability to get up either. It was a strange feeling made even stranger as the best friend of the girl who'd rejected him inched towards him not even feeling the slightest bit awkward about it.
"So Rowan how ya holding up ya thinking of swan-diving yet?"
"I don't think that's anything to joke about thank you very much!" Yelled Rowan.
"Yeah you're right sorry!"
Said Mika as she stuck out her tongue and moved her hands in a way that indicated a "sorry." Her tone softened and the look in her eyes toned down a bit so Rowan didn't object to it.
"I'm just curious what made you confess to Elara anyways? You know she's not one for romance. And she's all but taken by the Geonosian prince he's had his eye on her since this whole war started! He even asked the king if he could make her his betrothed!"
"Rowan: Putting aside the fact you're rubbing salt in my wounds what are you actually doing here?"
Rowan sunk into the couch a bit more as the pieces of his heart had seemed to scatter with each word. Mika's words didn't feel like the normal words humans dispersed, of course Rowan was aware the power that which humans words had already carried. They'd had the power to start wars, end wars, create conflicts, or even ignite the sparks of hatred inside of people. In that regard, Rowan didn't find it hard to imagine this feeling of his is what created conflicts like war in the first place.
"Mika: What? A girl can't come see her boyfriend?! Besides I wanted to check up on you! See if you're at least not so pathetic you're eating your feelings away!"
"Leo: Is that the conclusions you've come to?!"
The big-boned man, Leo spit out his coffee at Mika's provocations seeming to take the emotional blow for Rowan.
Matthew and Mika were a couple and although everyone in the friend group was aware of that,and would've normally harbored the correct amount of joy for that union. In this situation however...
"Terran:Not to be rude but it's a little insensitive to invite your girlfriend over Matthew. Gotta say I expected better from you."
"Matthew: I'll have you know I didn't invite her over thank you very much! And what do you mean you expected better?!"
The third man to interject himself into the conversation was Terran, the mage of the party and Elara's right hand. On the topic of that Rowan often found himself harboring the adequate feelings toward the man. If it wasn't enough he was Elara's mage he was also handsome to boot. His chiseled jawline, and defined body often caused Rowan distress. His slick and refined brown hair combined with those green eyes definitely did him favors with the ladies. Needles to say Rowan decided the adequate feeling to feel towards this man was jealousy.
Terran: "just the truth man you're a jerk."
"Matthew:"I told you I didn't invite her over!"
Mika: "Relax babe, i honestly did come over to check on Rowan but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't another reason."
Mika cleared her throat causing everyone but the dejected Rowan to perk up. She wasn't one to be serious although considering her position as the healer of the "Hero's Party" it wouldn't make sense had she not had a sense of seriousness floating around in her brain.
She twirled her green hair——a trademark sign that even Rowan was able to recognize which indicated the seriousness of the situation which incidentally, shifted the attention of his heart ever so slightly.
"Mika: Elara wants us to all meet up in the capital, she said something about the King having something special planned. Some kind of royal thing!"
"Matthew: That should've been the first thing you told us ya know! Was all that teasing with Rowan necessary?!"
Mika: "No but I couldn't help it to just tease him a bit! It's not like I was serious anyways cut me some slack!"
Matthew:"You know I can't deny that cute face damn it!"
At Matthew's rage Mika flashed a face that undoubtedly would strike into the hearts of men. At this face Matthew felt his rage subside. Perhaps this was the power of love Rowan had been privy to because his heart twinged and he couldn't help but avert his gaze at the situation.
He'd thought about what the king could have wanted. His heart twisted in pain as he thought about the prince and Elara. Why did he think he had a chance with her in the first place when guys like Terran and the prince existed? Perhaps it was due to the bond him and Elara shared that'd been forged on their adventures. Small moments—never big where he'd thought he'd seen something more in her eyes. Or perhaps her smile as she laughed at his unfunny jokes, either way he'd now assumed he'd come to the wrong conclusion. And those smiles weren't private moments or an admission of something greater for Rowan who was simply the weapon holder.Though Rowan was mostly a spectator in [The Hero's Party] he'd been privy to every emotional victory they'd had. Though at the thought of this he sighed as it seemed to not matter in the grand scheme of things. He was no hero, nor a prince, he was just Rowan Agoul the Weapon Holder of [The Hero's Party] and an average guy all around.
Leo: "So, the king wants to give us a special huh? I wonder what it could be? Maybe it's something like Orichalcum or an enchanted weapon? Maybe even something better!"
"Mika: I doubt it's anything like that, it's probably just to announce Elara's betrothal to Prince Gelderan though I could be wrong."
Terran:"You, you just can't read the room at all can you?"
At that revelation everyone turned to the man called Rowan Agoul who had the pitiful face they all expected him to be wearing. What they didn't know though was that the pitiful face in front of them was caused by many things not just the reality of Elara's rejection though Rowan himself might not have realized it yet.
At that, though Rowan promptly made eye contact with Mika whose eyes fleeted away at the prospect of locking eyes. In that look, was something Rowan Agoul was going to wish he would have noticed though it was unseen before the despair he'd currently wallowed in. And Mika herself realized this and erased that emotion immediately leaving Rowan Agoul's feelings with nowhere to go, he had missed something fleeting.
Matthew: "Uh, Rowan maybe you should just stay here. You haven't had a chance to properly think about things and this won't help. Maybe it'd be for the best if you stayed back."
Rowan:"yeah, I get it. I'm just the [Weapon Holder] after all."
Matthew:"No, that's not—"
Rowan:"Besides, I'm not ready to face Elara yet so soon so, I'll be here when you get back just go ahead without me."
Silence, was all that permeated the room around that as the boy's words. That silence was the product of many things, many inabilities to speak, or give words of encouragement. Perhaps it was the lack of this which created an opening for Rowan Agoul. Of course as he knew the value of his position his teammates did as well, that's why the prospect of a [Weapon Holder] was something no one could deny wasn't all that important. Maybe then, it was the realization of this that'd stopped the words of encouragement the friends had wanted to say. For Rowan Agoul though this silence had only toughened something in his heart and he clung to that feeling which spawned from insecurity.
Matthew opened his mouth which promptly closed as he realized the moment had passed and he'd thought of nothing to say. Subsequently as if realizing that, the rest of Rowan's friends said nothing as well as everyone present knew the moment had passed. [The Weapon Holder] of [The Hero's Party] had become present in the room. No longer was this Rowan Agoul or even the friends he'd talked to earlier this was merely [The Hero's Party] addressing their [Weapon Holder.]
Matthew: "Rowan-"
Rowan:"Go on,really... I'll be okay."
That member of [The Hero's Party] Matthew, the negotiations maker and face of the party, and all-around guy spoke up. Although one could say it wasn't him that was speaking up at all, it was simply Matthew the friend of Rowan Agoul who'd reached out to his friend again. But the [Weapon Holder] of the [Hero's Party] remained steadfast in Rowan's heart dictating his actions. In that moment Rowan allowed himself to fall into the rejection, letting the [Weapon Holder] handle it. Forcing his mind to think of the [Hero] who he knew in his mind had been Elara all along.
Matthew: "Well if you're sure. Come on guys let's leave Rowan alone."
Leo: "R-Right"
At that the cabin quickly became the place that [Rowan Agoul] had been sitting, though something—-someone still remained. Keeping his existence as the [Weapon Holder] of the [Hero's Party.] Mika's orange eyes fluttered at the [Weapon Holder] no—-at Rowan Agoul. No longer did she see the [Weapon Holder] and no longer was she the [Arch priestess] she'd been when she walked in. She was Mika, just Mika who'd been concerned about her friend—-the man—-pathetic as he was, Rowan Agoul who'd just been denied by the [Hero] Elara, his greatest friend.
Mika:"I'm sorry, Rowan."
What could be said to be consolations were offered to the [Weapon Holder] as the last remnants of the [Hero's Party] left the cabin and headed to a world now foreign to Rowan. His mind shifting to the [Hero] no. To Elara the woman who'd reached her hand out to him when he'd needed it most. The woman who insisted he joined the party despite the lack of magical ability or even any prowess that'd be useful to a [Hero's Party.] The woman who'd killed thousands of Hellspawns———the woman closest to destroying The Devil's Spawn and freeing the world from eternal plight. The woman closest to Rowan Agoul's heart Elara…Fey.
How could he ever have hoped to be with a woman like that? [The Weapon Holder] laughed at himself——no. Rowan Agoul laughed, and as it got louder the duality of the [Weapon Holder] and [Rowan Agoul] was no more.
As the cries that echoed across the cabin were undoubtedly Rowan Agoul's.