W-Who did this? My body crumbled to the floor as I fought to conceal my cries. An overwhelming urge to vomit surged through me, and I retched violently. A feeling unlike anything I had experienced clawed at my chest attempting to escape as if it were alive, before a bloodcurdling cry tore from my throat.
I burst into a hysterical run toward my wife and son, who lay lifeless in the living room. I cried out, but I couldn't hear my own voice, no matter how loudly I screamed—just the deafening roar of blood rushing through my ears. My breathing came in ragged gasps, each one forcing air from my lungs, my chest and throat burning in an eternal pit of despair and fear—fear that this was all my fault. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my only source of solace, until an ear-piercing ring resounded in my ears.
As I held their bodies, a maelstrom of emotions swirled in my mind, my chest pounding like thunder. I was overwhelmed, disoriented.
I started to hallucinate. I even began trying to convince myself that this was all a cruel prank. Staring into her lifeless eyes, the final remnants of my sanity began to shatter. I heard the door slam open, and everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
"Freeze! Put your hands in the air and slowly back away from the bodies."
"Be careful; he has a weapon close by!"
Shouts came from behind me in muffled tones.
I felt someone grab me before throwing me off to the side. I just stared down at my hands, trembling and now stained with blood, blood of my very own family. It took me a while to understand what was happening. They were under the impression that I had murdered my own family. I tried to speak, but nothing would come. "You're under arrest; you have the right to remain silent; anything you do and say will be used against you in court." The cop spoke his voice cold as ice; I couldn't think rashly, so my instincts took over; it would either be: fight, flight, or freeze.
It was flight; my body bursting into a sprint; a cop was standing in the way, trying to block my path, but with the adrenaline I was experiencing, he was nothing.
My body clashed with my mind, which wanted to stay composed, try to reason with them, and give them the truth about what was going on. I tried so hard to stop myself, but I was unable to.
"We have a runner!" Soon, everything around me became a blur. Running, running, and running—my body wouldn't stop. I was a block down the street when I heard gunfire, and the scent of gunpowder hit me. I'd been shot in the chest.
My body still chooses to keep running; I could do nothing but plead.
Multiple other shots flew through the air, some missing, but one went straight through my knee cap, which at the speed I was going caused me to tumble over, rolling on the ground.
Is this it? Am I going to die? Will they be able to save my family? Please, please, ple…
My body had finally come to peace with my mind, but now it was too late. Tears streamed down my face as I felt the warm blood escaping from my body, trying to cover the bullet wound in my chest, but the blood kept flowing. "Haha." I cried out in desperation.
I started to gargle as my mouth began to fill with blood, leaking from the corners of my mouth. I could do nothing but stare into the magnificent starry night sky.
I've learnt so much in my short time of being on this earth, and accomplished so much, but I couldn't even protect my own family, I clenched my fists until the point my palm began to bleed.
Throughout my youth, I studied martial arts and even became proficient in some of the techniques. Though I was never excellent at expressing my feelings as a child to a certain degree—only to those I cared for I could show sustainable passion for—I did this in an effort to try to protect the people I cared about.
My wife taught me that all emotions are necessary and should be accepted, despite the fact that some feelings can be a hindrance since, without them, a person would never fully understand himself.
I would immerse myself in everything she tells me, no matter how little. I probably wouldn't have become who I am today. No, I wouldn't be… But now, does it all matter? I couldn't protect them…
Was it my fate, our fate for this to happen to us? My family didn't deserve this, was it all a part of god's plan for this to happen, would this somehow better me in some shape or form?
HOW WOULD ANY OF THIS HELP ME? AT LEAST TELL ME HOW! SO I DON'T SIT HERE LIKE A FOOL BELIEVING IN WHAT IS NOT!
My mind began trying to find something else to blame for all this, something, someone had to cause this, but under it all I truly knew that it was my fault, my incapability to protect the ones I hold dear.
Everything had left me feeling bitter, and hollow. I just laid on the floor accepting this all. No one would save me.
What felt like minutes of me laying on the floor contemplating everything that had happened, everything went white, and my initial reaction was that this was death.
But there was something here with me—a figure completely engulfed in light with wings that seemingly stretched endlessly. "It's okay, everything will be alright," the woman's voice spoke in harmony. I could tell she was just trying to comfort me though; after all, there's no way to revert everything that has happened, yet from her words, I broke into a fit of tears.
"Please, please, please, save my family," I plead with the woman. "Boy, that would be something even beyond me." She said as she stroked my hair, her very touch making me feel like all my problems would disappear, "Then, could you do one thing for me, please?" I begged.
"And? What would that be?" She said as if she already knew what I would say: "L-let me forget everything. I don't think I can bear the thought of living without my family." As I plead like a child I could feel a knot forming in my throat; how pathetic am I?
I could have sworn she had a smile on her face, but only with good intentions. "Do you plan on forgiving the one who did this to your family?" I felt like I'd been punched in the gut as she spoke.
"What do you mean? Forgive them? What they've done is unforgivable." She then placed her hand over my chest; it felt warm, as if she were healing all the pain from my very soul. "Would you be able to forgive that person for me?" She asked curiously.
"No, I don't and wouldn't." Unexpectedly, that seems to delight her.
She mumbled something too incoherent for me to understand before speaking clearly. "I'll grant you something even better; you'll be reborn, but not with the memories of this life, only the skills and knowledge you've learned, and one more."
"One more?" I asked intrigued, "That is a secret." "Then how am I supposed to know?" "Ah, ah, ah~ you'll know you'll feel it here." I could only infer that she was referring to where she had her hand placed on my chest.
"I have grown a keen liking for you, boy, but with that said, our time together is now ending." She said something before about me forgetting everything.
I still had my doubts about everything. If I have to forget everything, that would even mean my family.
What is right and wrong were no longer concepts that I understood. Is this just an attempt by me to run away from what has happened? I could only assume that my face was filled with sorrow.
The woman sighed. "If a time comes when I see it fit, you'll remember." The woman groaned, "You might even be able... I can't get too ahead of myself."
"Thank you." Those were the only words that I could muster up.
"Hey, don't be sad. This is something to look forward to, but no. You won't remember us talking, at least for now, until we meet again. If that time does occur, it would truly be a blessing. Last but not least, protect those you hold dear; it would be a shame for you to end up in this state once again." Those were her final words before she removed her hand, before everything gradually turned dark.