"What do you think Peanut should call Alex? I want it to be something she can say easily."
"See if she starts calling him something and go with that," Dean said. "Please roll your hips, baby. Oh, good Christ. Yes, Princess, just like that. That feels amazing." He put his head on the back of the couch. "God, I fucking love you. I missed how tight you are. No one is as tight and wet for me as you are. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, compares to you, my fucking beautiful Princess. I love you."
They heard footsteps coming downstairs. Allie stopped moving." Do I get an opinion on what she should call me?" Alex asked.
Dean picked his head up, and Allie turned her head.
"Hey baby," she said.
"Allie, for the love of Christ, please don't stop," Dean said, putting his hands on her hips. She started moving again. Dean leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.
Alex was standing there in all his naked glory, holding Gwen. She was working on her nuk, holding a little brown bunny by its long ears.
"Where did you get that bunny, Peanut?" She rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "Did Uncle Alex give you a bun bun?" she said.
She smiled, keeping the nuk in her mouth.
"Allie, please," Dean croaked.
"Would you mind entertaining her till we're done?" Allie asked.
"Sure, just give me a second." He handed Gwen to Allie.
"Seriously," Dean said, rolling his eyes. Allie had stopped moving again.
"Hey, Peanut. You are getting so big. Can you believe she's six months already, Daddy?"
He opened his eyes and lifted his head. "No. But you'll always be daddy's Little Bean, won't you?" He kissed her on her little nose.
"Mommy is going to finish here, and then I'll feed you some dinner if Daddy leaves you anything."
"Don't listen to her, Little Bean. She asked me to."
He poked Allie's breast. "There's still some in there. Don't throw me under the bus," he said.
"Don't you mean breast?" Alex asked.
He had come back from the bathroom dressed in a pair of sweatpants.
"Those are mine."
"Really? Huh. Didn't notice," Alex said with his beautiful smile.
"Did you go to Northwestern?"
"No."
"Then they are mine."
"Dude, we've shared your wife, and you're going to get territorial over your sweatpants?" Alex asked rhetorically.
"He's right, Dean. I'm not as important as a pair of sweatpants?"
"But those are my favorite sweatpants," he whined.
"Give me my goddaughter."
Allie kissed her cheek and handed her back.
"Wanna play Peanut?"
Alex lay on the floor with Gwen on his chest. He started to play with the bunny, making it talk to her. "What should you call me? You're going to be talking soon. My Husband is already taken. So is Daddy. What do you think? The guy who lived at my house is a little long."
She spit her nuk out and smiled at him. She lifted her legs and arms off his chest.
"You look like you're skydiving, Peanut. Maybe you'll be a paratrooper. Or an adrenaline junkie," he said.
He watched the little girl's face, her green eyes sparkling. Her smile was big and could brighten up the room. She was drooling on his bare chest. She had started the teething stage.
"I think it's getting close to dinner time," Allie said as she slid off Dean.
She kissed him. "I love you, Cowboy. That was incredible, as always. Thank you for being my husband and baby daddy and making me come four times."
She kissed him again, this time with more tongue. He pulled her back onto his lap, kissing her passionately. He began massaging her breast.
"Honey, please don't get me going again. I need to feed Little Bean."
She pulled herself away from him. She walked by Alex and Gwen.
Gwen started kicking her little legs. It looked like she was a frog kicking in the pond.
"You are so fucking cute," Alex said.
"LANGUAGE!" Allie yelled from the bathroom.
"Mommy used to be so much more relaxed," Alex told the little girl.
She walked back into the room wearing a white cotton bathrobe.
"You seemed to be using that word often for the last two hours, Cara Mia."
Dean stood up. "He's not wrong, Buttercup."
"I'm allowed because I'm mommy and I'm the best. See. It says so right on her onesie." She picked her up and kissed her nose.
"Well, I have to go up to our room and get a pair of sweatpants because someone took mine," he said, looking at Alex.
"Oh, good lord. You want them, come and get them, big boy. We haven't gone toe to toe in six months."
"Game---"
Allie cut him off. "Nope. No game on. Pants on. Now. Dean, go."
She pointed to the steps.
"Fine. But I am getting my pants back," he said.
"Bring me a beer on your way back, sweet cheeks."
Alex gave him a kissy face. Dean stuck up his middle finger.
"Oh really? Fuck me? Baby anytime. Almost any place," Alex said.
Allie opened her robe. "Language."
"He said it first. It was sign language, but he said it first."
"How old are you two? Should I book a hall for your sweet sixteen parties?"
Gwen hungrily took to her breast. "I guess Daddy did leave you some. Nom, nom, nom."
Dean headed up the stairs. He popped his head around the corner.
"Game on, Alvarez!" He made a kissing noise and quickly ran up the stairs.
Alex sat up. "Is it bad that I want to middle-finger your husband?"
"I have a feeling you aren't the only one who has thought about it. I sometimes wonder if he may have been in California. He told us what happened with that Richie guy. But he's way too hetero. I don't think any amount of drink or drugs would relax him enough to go there," she said.
"You don't think he's homophobic, do you?"
"No. Remember, he has a gay sister."
"Touche," he said. "Que sera sera. Just thought I would ask."
"Ouch! Peanut! I think you might have a tooth coming in."
She looked up at her mommy. Making her little swallowing noises and breathing through her perfect button nose.
"A tooth? Oh my gosh. She is getting so big. She's teething already. I can't believe how fast time has passed so quickly. Thank you for letting me be part of her life, Allie. You have no idea how much it has meant for me to be in her life. It's been great of Dean to let me be part of both your lives."
"Of course. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Even if Dean didn't want you in my life, I would ensure you are always there."
She looked down and watched Gwen's eyes slowly starting to get heavy. She was starting and stopping.
"Cara Mia?"
"Yes, Mis Vida."
"It's time for me to go home," he said.
She looked up at him.
"What! Why? I thought you were happy here."
He shuffled over to her on his knees.
"Because that's where I am supposed to be living. I've been here for five months. I was only supposed to be here to help Dean take care of you and Peanut until you healed up and could return to active duty.
You've been ready for the last two and a half months. So, it's time," he said.
"No. I don't want you to go. Peanut will miss you. You've been in her life longer than her daddy. You can't just up and leave her. YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE OUR UNICORN!"
She was doing everything she could to keep her voice from quivering.
"She'll be okay. So will you. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and tonight solidified my decision. You and Dean need to start your lives together. I'll still be around. I love you both so much. I'm not going anywhere far, but the truple thing doesn't seem to be for me."
Allie started to cry quietly. "I don't understand. I thought you were happy being here. I thought you wanted to make this work. You said so in the hospital. And you said so when Dean and I propositioned you a few months ago."
"I wanted to. I wanted to. I tried so hard to make myself believe this was a sustainable deal. Allie, you almost died twice. I couldn't almost lose you again. When I saw Gwendolyn, and you told Dean you wanted to add Alexis to her middle name, whether she could write it on a check signature line, which is still extremely random, he said yes. He would do anything to make you happy. And I wanted to make you happy, too."
"So, you did it because you felt you had to?" she asked, and she started crying a little harder.
"Oh, come on. Please don't do that."
He got up and sat down next to her. He gently touched her chin and said, "Look at me, please."
Alex leaned in and kissed her slowly. He looked into her eyes."I love you, and I did not do any of this because I felt I had to or was out of obligation. So please don't think that," he said.
He kissed Gwen on her head. Her green eyes looked at him. She smiled as she fed.
"And I love this little girl more than anything except you."
Dean's feet hit heavily as he came back down the stairs.
Alex stood up. Dean saw that she'd been crying. "What's going on? What did I miss? What happened?" he asked.
"Cowboy, Alex decided it was time for him to go home."
"What? Why?"
"Dean, you asked me to help you until Allie could do things on her own and take care of Peanut. It's been six months. Peanut is going to start crawling soon. Allie thinks she's teething. That's how long I've been here.
"I don't understand. Why now? Why all of a sudden?"
"I don't belong here. I'm getting too close to you and Gwen." He looked at them. "Even you, Asshole."
"That's the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Prick."
"You're wife and Mommy. You're Husband and Daddy. Like you said, what does that make me? I'll never really be a part of this family. There's no room for me here. Unicorns don't exist. No matter what context. "
"There's more than enough room for you here, literally and figuratively," Dean said.
"You guys have been awesome, and this has been amazing. Like beyond amazing, but like I told her, you need to be husband and wife with your daughter. I'm Uncle Alex, who will come by on birthdays and holidays, and the godfather, who will occasionally make a body disappear. It's time for me to go."
Gwen stopped feeding and started to cry.
"Oh, Peanut, it's okay. Shhh."
She tried to get her to take the other side. She just continued to cry.
"She knows you are upset, Allie. It's making her upset. She feeds off you and your emotions," Alex said.
"Well, no wonder she's been such always a happy baby. My life was really great up to about five minutes ago."
Little tears were coming out of her beautiful green eyes. Her mouth was turned down in a hard frown, and her little face was bright red.
"I gotta go pack my stuff," he said.
"Do me a favor. Hold her for a second. I need to talk to Dean," she said.
Alex took Gwen as she cried.
Allie took Dean down the hall to the bar. "Dean, please, I don't want him to go. Please make him stay," she pleaded.
"Allie, we can't hold him hostage."
"Why not? People hold people hostage all the time."
"Yes, but we aren't kidnappers," he said.
"Dean, please."
"No, we are not holding him prisoner either. We are not Al-Qaeda."
The pain he saw in her face was excruciating.
"I can't lose him. I'm living my best life. You two are my rocks," she said. "I can't lose him. Gwendolyn can't either.
He took her and held her close to him. He kissed the top of her head. "I know, Buttercup. If he wants to go home and distance himself a little from us, then we have to let him do that."
"You once told me if I wanted the world, all I have to do is ask, and you will give it to me. Well, I don't want the world. I want both my boys."
"I'll try to talk to him, okay," Dean said.
"Make him stay. Arm wrestle him or something."
"Do you hear that?" Dean asked.
"Hear what?"
"Exactly. He got Little Bean to stop crying."
Dean and Allie walked back to the main area. Alex was talking to Gwen. She smiled and laughed at him as he made silly faces and tickled her little tummy.
"Uncle Alex loves you, Peanut. Do you remember me from when you were in mommy's tummy? I hope you will remember me when I am not here all the time."
He clapped her little hands together. "Can you say, Alex? AL-EX? Yeah, you will be two before you can even get close to saying, Alex. I bet Dada is going to come easy," he said as he made the bunny kiss her face.
Allie and Dean walked into the room.
"See Mi Vita. If you leave, won't you miss this? Her? Me?" Allie asked. "Dean?"
"Of course I will, but seriously. Think about it, Allie. Imagine Gwen is in kindergarten, drawing a picture of her family. What does that picture look like? A sun, a rainbow, flowers, mommy, daddy, and Uncle Godfather Alex."
"She said we should arm-wrestle. If I win, you stay. If you win, you can go home. Or if you want, we can take this outside like the old days. The last man standing is in charge," Dean said.
"Dean, look…"
"No, Alvarez! You look. You said it yourself: I am sharing my wife with you because she loves you. Look at you right now. Gwen is crazy about you, too. And look how well I tolerate it. That's got to count for something. Plus, summer is coming. Don't you want to be here to take Gwen swimming? To skinny dip at midnight with Allie. I'll be there too, but… you know. My guess is I'm not going to be the one who will keep you here. No matter how good-looking I am.," he said with a smile.
"Skinny dipping?" Alex asked.
"I open the pool up on Memorial Day. They are coming next week to set it up. It's even heated."
"And it has a slide," Allie chimed in.
"Yes, I've seen the pool, Allie."
"Wait till you see the cute little two-piece I ordered, Gwen."
"Wait, what? You're sticking my Little Bean in a bikini?" Dean asked.
"It's a two-piece. I'm wearing a bikini. It's a bare minimum coverage one. I can try it on for both of you later."
"One More Night. Just sleep on it," Dean said.
"I can't afford to keep making a house payment on a house I'm not even living in."
"How much do you owe on the house?" Allie asked.
"I don't know. 147,000 maybe. Give or take a thousand."
"Okay. We'll pay off your mortgage, and then you can keep the house, rent it out, or do whatever you want. You can even sell it, but the only catch is you have to move in here," Dean said.
"You'll pay off my mortgage? Just like that." He snapped his fingers.
"I can write you a check right now. Get the payoff amount. I bet Natalie and Makayla would love to leave the apartment and move into an actual house."
"I love you, but I'm getting lonely. I sleep alone every night. I don't have someone to hold, no one to lay her head on my chest and listen to my heartbeat. God, I miss that. I have to move on, Allie. You have to let me go."
"No. I have to put Gwen to bed," Allie said.
She took Gwen from Alex, and without saying another word, she went upstairs.
"I'm going to go talk to her. DON'T LEAVE. And don't leave with my sweatpants!"
Dean found Allie in their bedroom. She was in bed with Gwen lying by her side. Gwen was playing with her toes while Allie curled up next to her. She was doing her best not to cry again; she didn't want to upset Peanut.
Dean stood at the door, watching them. His beautiful ladies. He was such a blessed man. He could understand where Alex was coming from. He knew how much he loved Gwendolyn and Allie. Dean wouldn't want to be him. Knowing the person you love will never truly be yours. You can never sleep next to them or hold them close while you lay together, just listening to the rain. Or having your daughter between you and talking about the future.
"Is he still leaving?" she asked, not looking away from Gwen.
Dean came in and laid down on the bed, Gwen between them.
"I'm pretty sure he is. He's right, Allie. He shouldn't have to spend the rest of his life in love but alone. It hurts when you love someone and can't have 100% of them all for yourself. You have so much love to give, but no matter how much you love us, you are still only one person. Understand? You can't be in two places at once. You can't be everything to both of us. He doesn't want to leave because he no longer loves you and Little Bean."
Gwen jerked her head and looked at her daddy. "Yes, beautiful, I'm talking about you." She grabbed her foot and attempted to put her toe in her mouth. "You are limber like your Auntie Bug," he said.
He tickled her tummy. She reached out to him, trying to grab his face. Dean took her little hand and kissed it quickly over and over.
"See, right there. That's what I want for myself." Alex was standing in the doorway watching the little family. He sat down on the end of the bed. "Guys, like I said, this has been unbelievable. You guys have been amazing, and I am honored you wanted me here and as a part of your family."
"You ARE a part of our family! Please don't go, Mi Vida. Please."
"Allie, I am happy I could help and care for Gwen. It was educational. I now know how to get breast milk and vomit out of a polyester work shirt," he said.
"Okay, you can skinny dip with her without me there."
"Dean, I am not going to negotiate with you. But thank you for the offer."
"Then what do you want?" Allie asked.
"What I want I can't have, and you can't give me. I love you two, and Dean, you're not a total asshole."
"And you're not a total prick."
"Dean," Allie said.
"NO! You said you would die for my family, and that would be the only way you would ever leave Allie and Peanut. AND, you're not dead, but I would be more than happy to go outside and kill you."
"Dude, I am bigger than you, and I have been since you returned from California," Alex said.
"Eh, not really," Dean said.
Alex rolled his eyes. "I am not leaving them, and I'm not leaving you, Allie. I just need to have a life that has me in it."
"You've shared our bed, Mi Vida! You are part of our family," she said.
"I know what I said when you first came to me, but I've thought about so much since then. Even though I was so excited and gung-ho initially, I realized I shared a bed with you, and then I had to leave that bed and sleep in mine. Alone. Dean even said, as long as she's in my bed by the night's end, I'm good. Well, I'm not good. I'm so sorry, guys. This is for the best. This is for your marriage. I am going to miss my Peanut and... My Beloved. Don't think for a second that I won't. Guys, I want to get married. I do want my own child. Gwen is still young and won't remember who I was to her."
Alex smiled and walked out of the room.
"Dean, I need to take Gwen anywhere but here. I need some time and don't want to upset her."
"Okay, Buttercup. As you wish."
He took her off the bed. "Mommy needs some alone time, Litte Bean," he said.
He looked at Allie. "Take as much time as you need."
"I love you," she said.
"Believe me, I know you do. I love you too, more than you will ever know."
Dean left the room and shut the door behind him.
She rolled over, curled up into the fetal position, and proceeded to cry herself to sleep.