"Allie, you must get out of bed. Natalie and Makayla are coming to swim, so let's get up." He threw the covers off her. "Rise and shine."
He opened the curtains, and the light blared into the room. She put her head under her pillow.
"Why? I am still showering and taking care of Gwen. Just let me stay in---"
He cut her off. "No."
"Why?"
"Because I said no. I get it. Alex is gone, and you are still mourning, but it's time to start living again. He's been gone for several weeks. It's time for you to keep living. You might be showering and feeding Gwendolyn, but you haven't worked out in weeks, making you feel worse. You are eating nothing but crap, it's been beautiful outside, and you haven't taken Little Bean for a walk or to the park or swimming. My parents have been begging us to come down and see them. They missed their granddaughter," he said.
She put the pillow over her head. "Then take her to go see your parents. I'm not stopping you."
"You're not doing anything. At least nothing constructive."
"I told you that I needed some time." She mumbled under the pillow.
"You can take time while still being out of bed. Alexsandra, I need my wife. You haven't touched me in weeks. We haven't gone anywhere or done anything. I have eight billion at my disposal. We could do anything, anywhere. We could buy a major league baseball team, but I can't even get you to go to the basement."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to do. I can't flip a switch, and all my pain goes away," she said.
"That's weird because that's EXACTLY what you used to do."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You don't remember! You used to be able to shut down emotions like you've been shutting me down for the last couple of weeks. You are making me feel about as useless as a white crayon," he said.
"Wow, that is really depressing. I used to be like that. How did you ever put up with THAT? I was a sociopath, Dean. How did Alex put up with me?"
"You were not a sociopath. As far as Alex is concerned, no offense, but he got a different Allie than I did. You were still scared of the whole commitment thing. You wouldn't even say I love you."
"You helped me get over that?" she asked.
"I guess I did."
"So, are you the reason I was finally able to tell Alex I love him?"
Dean sighed hard. "Yeah, I guess in some way I am. Which I am not sure is exactly ideal at this point in our life."
She stood up and walked over to Dean, kissing him softly. "I am so sorry, Dean. I guess I never realized that when I lost Alex, you lost me," she said.
"I just want my wife back. I want my family back. I want my Allie back." He ran his hands up her body. "All of my wife. All of my Allie, my Princess Buttercup," he said.
She looked into his eyes and saw the loneliness and the pain.
"As you wish," she said. "You know I should take a shower. I want some help. Would you wash my hair, farm boy?"
"Of course I will. All you ever have to do is ask."
Dean went into the bathroom and started the shower.
"Hey Babe, it's warm," he called out.
Allie came into the bathroom. She was already naked.
Dean looked at her. Her breasts were swollen. She looked amazing.
"God, you are beautiful. Do you need to pump? You look swollen," she said.
"I was thinking maybe you could help me?"
"Oh, definitely. You haven't asked me to help in weeks. I miss my share of mother's milk."
They entered the shower. He washed her hair. He then took the shower puff and washed her body from her neck to her toes.
"Sit down, my love," he said.
Allie went and sat on the seat in the corner of the shower. Dean got down on his knees and took her breast in his mouth. He suckled from both until she was no longer painfully swollen.
"I missed the way you taste. All your flavors."
He slid her forward and brought her pelvis towards his face. He slowly ran his tongue up and down between her lips, and then his tongue found her opening and stuck it inside of her.
"Oh, farm boy. That feels like heaven. I've missed you too," she said.
She put her hands on the sides of his head. "Yes. Right there. Right there. You're making my head spin."
His tongue rubbed her clit. She tasted like a memory. She tasted like their love. The longer he pleased her, the more painfully hard he grew. He missed her so much. He looked up at her. "I need you, Alexsandra, please. Let me feel you from the inside," he begged.
She looked into his eyes. "Go sit on the floor in the corner."
Dean sat down in the corner. She slid her body onto the tile. She straddled him. He pulled his knees up. She took him in her hand.
"Oh, Cowboy, you are solid as a rock."
"I told you. I missed my wife, my life, my world," he said.
She kissed him with her tongue, finding his. She tasted herself on his lips and slowly tumbled them. She did miss his lips. Kissing him was like coming home.
"Please put me inside of you, Baby. I need your warmth. Your softness," he said. "I want that tight pussy I crave."
"As you wish."
"Isn't that my line?" he asked with a smile.
"Maybe I'm a genie in a bottle. You do know exactly how to rub me."
She eased him in. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. She moved her hips slowly back and forth.
"I missed you too, Cowboy."
He pulled her to his chest. They buried their faces into each other's necks.
"I fucking love you," he whispered.
"Language," she whispered back.
"I don't see Peanut here."
"True. Then I fucking love you too," she said.
She kissed him. She moved her hips faster and more aggressively. He didn't last long, but he made sure that she came first.
"You are such an unselfish lover."
"I'm happy to hear that."
"Gwen isn't awake yet. Why don't I just sit here until you are ready to go again? I don't want to move," she said.
"Yes, my love, but the water is starting to get cold, and I know I'm still impressively sized even when I'm not excited, but freezing water doesn't help the cause."
"We really need to investigate getting a larger hot water tank."
"I will begin the investigation as soon as I dry off," he said.
They kissed one more time, and she rose. They could hear Gwen on the monitor as soon as they stepped out of the shower.
"DADA DA DA," Gwen babbled.
"Hear that babe? She is singing your praises."
"Fine, I'll go get her. When is she going to say, Mama."
"Well, it normally takes a little bit of time. You see, a baby sees Mama as themselves. Mom is the primary attachment. That's also why they recognize mommy's voice first. Their father is the first separation they see from themselves. So even though a D is harder to pronounce than M. They are Mama, and Mama is them," she explained.
"You are one of the smartest people I know, Allie Stapleton."
"Of course I am. I married you, didn't I." She winked at him. "Now go get Little Bean. I'm going to dry off," she said.
Dean left the bathroom to retrieve Gwen.
"Dada, da da." He came into the room. She started clapping when she saw him. "Dada dada!" she said excitedly.
She put her arms out and reached for him. "There's my little Bean. Do you need fresh pants? I bet you do," he said.
He laid her on the changing table. She squirmed around.
"You would be doing me a solid if you stayed still."
He changed her, then he kissed her little tummy. She laughed and grabbed at his face.
"Daddy, give kisses."
He kissed her all over her little face and tummy. She shrieked with delight.
"There now you are all fresh and ready to see Mommy," he said.
He held her above his head. He was looking up at her when he walked into the room.
"You know, babe, I was thinking we should..."
He looked down and saw her. "Oh my God."
"Do you like it?" she asked. Allie was trying on her new bikini.
"That looks phenomenal. Especially since your boobs are so big. I see you at least left the house to get a wax."
"No. I paid extra to have them come here."
She turned around to show him the back.
"You know half of the bottom is missing?"
She made a frowny face. "You don't like it?" she asked.
"I don't want you to wear it in front of anyone. I'm unsure if I want you to wear it in front of Makayla. Definitely not in front of my friends."
"Well, David's blood flows through my veins, so he's like a relative now," she joked.
"Ever heard of kissing cousins?"
"Do you think Alex would have liked it?" she asked. "I have to wear it; it's the only one I have."
She bent over and was rummaging through the drawer. He couldn't do anything but stare at her ass.
"Alexsandra, your fucking killing me," he said. Dean tried to think about anything but the perfect beautiful ass that was on full display. He could see her lips between her legs under the small strip of fabric, and he wanted to get on his knees and lick her.
"Language. She's in the room now."
"They did a fantastic job on the wax."
She popped up with a little two-piece bathing suit, the color matching hers.
"Look how cute! AND a matching sun hat! Will you take a picture of me? I want to send one to Alex," she said.
"I'm not sure that's a great idea. You haven't heard from him since the day he left. He separated from us. He's trying to get over you. I've texted him a couple of times, and all I get is one-word responses. Except for when he says kiss 'Peanut for me,'" he said.
He kissed Peanut on the cheek. "That's from Uncle Alex, little Bean."
"Did you tell him how much she misses him? How much we all miss him."
"Allie, I've tried."
"How about a picture of Gwen saying she wants her Uncle Alex to take her down the slide? Do you think he doesn't want to be her Godfather anymore? What about being her guardian?"
Dean put Gwen on the bed. He took Allie by the hand.
"Baby, he's gone. I don't think that it's he doesn't want to anymore; I think it's more like he doesn't feel he can," he said.
"He said he would still be around. Why would he lie? Why would he leave Gwen? How could anyone leave her?"
He held her close. "Self-preservation is my guess."