- ARES -
The first thing I feel when I wake up is something warm next to me. The touch of skin against my arm takes me by surprise, and then I turn and see her.
Her eyes are closed, her long eyelashes rest on her cheekbones, and she is breathing slowly through her nose. She looks so delicate and fragile. A lump forms in my throat, making it difficult for me to breathe. I jump up from the bed, moving away from her, almost hyperventilating.
I need to get out of here.
I need to get away from her.
What the hell was I thinking?
Grabbing my clothes from the floor, I quickly put on my boxers and shorts. I leave my room, careful not to wake her up. I don't want to face her; I can't face her expectations of me and break her heart again. I can't make her cry and watch her walk away from me, not again.
Then get back in there.
The voice of my conscience reproaches me, but I can't do that either. I'm not what she expects, or what she needs. I can't play at having a relationship with someone when I don't believe in that shit, because sooner or later I'll end up hurting her and ruining a nice girl who doesn't deserve it.
If I know I can't give her what she wants, why do I keep luring her to me? Why can't I let her go? Because I'm a selfish fucker, that's why, because just imagining her with someone else makes my blood boil. I can't be with her, but I won't let her be with anyone else either.
I head down the stairs, running, and grab the keys to the car.
Run, like the selfish coward you are.
I'm about to grab the doorknob when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn to see Artemis sitting on the couch wearing sports clothes. He must have just come in from his morning workout.
"Where are you going looking like that?"
And that's when I realize that I'm only wearing shorts, and I don't even have shoes on.
"Nowhere," I say quickly.
"Running away?"
"No, I'm still just a little tired."
Artemis gives me an incredulous look but says nothing. I grab my sneakers from the guest closet in the hallway and pull a sweatshirt on. Claudia appears to ask me what she should tell Raquel.
"Tell her I had to go out and I won't be back until late," I whisper to her, holding the keys in my hand. "Tell her to go home."
I turn my back on them and leave the house. I get into the car, but I don't turn it on. I just rest my forehead on the steering wheel. I don't know how much time passes, but when I look up, I see her.
Raquel.
She's walking out of the house. Her dress is wrinkled and still a little wet from the night before and her hair is in a messy bun. My heart drops to the floor. She shudders, wiping her tear-streaked cheeks. She's crying.
Ah, God, what are you doing, Ares?
My eyes go down to her feet and I notice that she's barefoot. She probably couldn't find her sandals and didn't want to stay to look for them. I can't take my eyes off her as she slowly walks away from the house.
I almost go get her, but when my hand falls on the car door handle, I freeze. What am I going to say to her? How am I going to justify myself? I know that if I chase her, I will only hurt her more.
I sit there, not moving, not saying anything. I don't know how long it takes before I finally get out of the car. My eyes scan the road, but it's empty. I wish I had said something to her, but I don't even know what I feel or how to word it. I'm not used to any of this.
A black car pulls up next to me. The rear window rolls down and the scent of expensive perfume hits my nose.
"What are you doing out here, honey?" my mother asks as a false smile forms on my lips.
"I just went for a run."
"As athletic as ever. Come into the house, I've missed you."
"Of course you missed us."
She decides to ignore my sarcasm. "Let's go."
She rolls up the window, and the car continues into the driveway. With my heart clenched, I take one last look at the street and return to the house.
It's for the best, I keep repeating over and over inside my head.
I have to greet my parents, the beings who made me the way I am, the ones who are to blame for the fact that I can't tell the girl I just lost how I feel about her, and that it's the first time I've felt this way.
Ah! Shit! I let out a long sigh and walk into the house.
- RAQUEL -
I keep replaying the moment when I woke up and looked for him, thinking he had gone for breakfast. I was about to go downstairs when I heard him talking to Claudia.
Tell her I had to go out and I won't be back until late,he said with what sounded like annoyance in his voice. Tell her to go home.
I grimace, feeling the burning pavement under my bare feet, but that pain is no comparison to the one I feel inside.
I was such an idiot.
I can't stop crying, I can't stop the tears, and it just makes me feel even more pathetic. I thought this time would be different, and I really believed it. How could I have been so stupid? He would say anything to get inside my pants; that's all he wanted. How could I let him do this to me again and again?
I think back to his genuine smile, how we talked and laughed yesterday in his bed playing that stupid game, and what we did afterward. I trusted him. And he took that trust and shattered it along with my heart. He didn't even have the decency to tell me face to face. I wasn't important enough. He just sent his maid to get rid of me.
Ares can hurt me like no one else, but it's my fault for giving him that power over me. Ares knows I'm crazy about him and uses that to take advantage of me like the jerk he is. All this time I haven't really wanted him out of my life. I've given him chances, believing in his earnest eyes, and hoping that there is something good behind his facade. But no more.
As I get closer to the house, I thank God it's Sunday, and I don't have to go to school feeling like shit. I'm surprised to see Dani in the driveway ringing the doorbell. She's wearing a loose summer dress, with her long black hair tied up in a ponytail and sunglasses on her face. She looks impatient. I know she hates the heat. I try to call out to her, but I can't. The words stick in my throat, and I want to cry again. My lips tremble as she turns and sees me.
She takes off her glasses, and her face tightens in concern. She hurries over to me and grabs me by the shoulders. "What happened? Are you okay?"
I just manage to nod.
"God, let's go inside."
In my room, I don't bother to hold back my tears, not anymore. I sit on the floor against the wall and cry. Dani sits next to me, saying nothing, just sitting there, and that's all I need. I don't need words of encouragement, I just need her to be there, next to me.
I need to let it all out. I need to get this pain out of my chest, and I feel that by crying I can externalize it so that it never hurts like this again. There is something therapeutic in crying with all my heart. There is a certain peace that comes afterward.
Dani slips her arm behind me and grabs me so that I rest my head on her shoulder. "Let it out. That's it. I'm here."
I cry until I have no more tears, and my nose is so stuffed up that it's hard to breathe. The peace settles over me. Dani kisses my head.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I push myself away from her and straighten up, pressing my back against the wall. I wipe away my tears and blow my nose. I tell her everything.
Dani's face turns red with rage. "Fucking jerk! Argh!"
I don't say anything.
She blows an unruly strand of hair out of her face. "I want to punch him in his stupid face. Can I? Just one punch and I'll run. He won't even notice."
"Dani . . ."
"I learned a superpunch in my self-defense class, I know it will hurt, and there's always the typical punch in the balls. Oh yeah, I think I prefer that one."
Her crazy anger steals a sad smile from me. "I appreciate the effort, but . . ."
"Or I can tell Dean. They're on the soccer team together. I'll tell him to give him a kick that looks accidental."
"Dani, you can't send your brother to beat him up. Dean is very passive."
"But also excessively overprotective, I only have to tell him that Ares did something to you and boom! Ares gets what he deserves."
"I don't like violence, and you know it."
"Fine!" she snorts. "I'll get some ice cream, and you find the most romantic movie you can get online."
"I don't think—"
"Silence! Let's deal with this anger as it should be. Today you will cry and shout insults at the movie screen and talk about how unfair life is because those things don't happen to us." She puts her hands on her hips. "We'll have a sleepover, and tomorrow you'll wake up a new person, leaving everything behind."
I try to smile. "I don't think I can do that overnight."
"At least give it a try, and then we'll go party with some guys. You'll get distracted and realize that idiot isn't the only guy on this planet. Are we clear?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I didn't hear you."
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Okay, now look for that movie, I'll be right back."
I watch her leave and smile like a fool, grateful to have her by my side, otherwise I would be falling apart. I think what upsets me the most is that, even knowing what my mother had to go through with my father, I still fell for that idiot. Just another girl, blinded by love. I'm disappointed in myself.
I turn on my computer and open the browser to search for a movie. My Facebook automatically opens while I type into the address bar. I hear a new message ring and my heart crumples in my chest when I see the name and message.
Ares Hidalgo: Sorry.
A sad smile crosses my lips. I leave it on seen and simply continue my search. It rings again and I open his next message:
Ares Hidalgo: I am truly sorry.
I click his name and block him so that he can't send me any more messages.
Good-bye, Greek God.