- Raquel -
Cold.
I wake up, shivering. I open my eyes with a groan. The light stings as it hits my vision, forcing me to squint. Why is it so cold? I don't remember turning on the air-conditioning.
The first thing I see is a shelf full of sports trophies and awards, which confuses me. I don't have that in my room. As the picture clears in front of me, I realize that's because I'm not in my room.
"What?" I sit up with a jolt, and my head throbs in protest. "Ow!"
I hold my forehead, and my stomach growls unsteadily. Where the fuck am I? As if karma wants to answer, something—or rather someone—moves a little next to me.
Terrified, I turn my face to look, and a muffled shriek leaves my lips as I roll backward on the bed with a thud and fall to the floor. "Ow!" I say again.
Shit, shit.
I poke my face just above the bed and confirm it.
It's Ares Hidalgo, in all his glory, lying on his back, with his forearm over his face. The sheets cover him from his waist down, leaving his chest and abdomen exposed, since he's shirtless.
Instinctively, I look down and realize that I have his shirt on.
"Oh! Crap!" I hold my face dramatically.
What the hell happened? I was so determined not to fall this time.
Let's see, think, Raquel. Remember, think.
Everything is scattered in my brain like a jigsaw puzzle with blurry, missing parts. The last thing I remember is being with Dani, Apolo, Carlos, and Yoshi. Then Yoshi and I went upstairs. Were we going to the bathroom?
Argh!
And then Ares. . . on the balcony . . .
And then nothing, emptiness, darkness.
How frustrating!
Surprisingly, falling into his arms again is not what bothers me the most, but rather this very unpleasant feeling of not being able to remember everything. Did we have sex? Honestly, I don't think Ares would have done anything to me if I was that drunk.
I need to get out of here. I stand up and the room spins, so I take a deep breath. Ares is still the same, with his forearm over his eyes, his lips half-open and his chest exposed.
My shoes . . .
My clothes . . .
They must be somewhere.
What time is it?
Dani must be so worried! It was a good decision to tell Mom that I would stay at Dani's yesterday, otherwise I would be in real trouble. The still sleeping part of my brain reaches for my cell phone, and then my brain wakes up and slaps me.
It was stolen weeks ago, Raquel, wake up.
I walk around, crouched down, without finding any of my clothes, but what—where are my clothes? They should be somewhere around if we undressed here, or did I undress somewhere else and then come in here? Oh my goodness. I notice an open door to my right to what looks like a bathroom, so I walk in. My clothes are on the floor next to the tub.
A feeling of relief runs through my body. I no longer have to go out on the street with only a boy's shirt on. I close the door and pick up my white flowered T-shirt, but the smell of vomit hits my nose and makes me grimace.
Vomit?
Did I vomit? Oh Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened last night?
There's no way I can wear that shirt. The skirt is in no better condition, but I just wash the little bits of vomit off in the sink. I can't leave wearing only Ares's shirt and nothing underneath. The damp skirt doesn't help with the cold, and I shiver again, but I manage to brush my teeth with my fingers.
Yoshi. Oh no.The memory of trying to use him last night pops up in fragmented pieces in my mind. I have to apologize to him.
Walking back into the room, I allow myself to look at Ares again. His naked, white torso contrasts with the blue of the sheets. I stare at him, fighting the urge to throw myself on him and kiss every uncovered part of his body and feel his skin.
Focus, Raquel.
With all the caution in the world, I grab the doorknob quietly, but when I try to turn it, it won't budge. What? I try harder and it won't open. I check the knob and realize that it doesn't have a button to lock it, just a hole where a key goes.
It's locked. Why?
"Are you looking for this?"
His voice makes me jump. I turn, and, to my surprise, he's sitting on the bed with his hand in the air, holding the keys. I hate that I like his face so much that it makes me shake. He has an amused smile on his face.
"Why is it locked?" I ask.
"There was a party here last night, remember?" There's a certain hesitancy in his voice. "I didn't want anyone to come in and bother us."
I try to swallow but my throat is dry. "You and I . . . I mean . . . did we, you know?"
"Have sex?" He's always so direct. "You don't remember anything?"
There's a sadness in his voice, as if he wants me to remember something. Feeling very embarrassed, I shake my head. "No."
His expression turns and he looks disappointed for some reason. "Nothing happened, you vomited, I bathed you and put you to sleep."
I believe him. "Thank you."
He stands up, and I feel small in front of him again.
"Open the door for me," I say. Being alone with him in a room, both of us scantily clad, is too much.
He slips the key into the front pocket of his pants. "No."
I open my mouth to protest, but he walks to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. What the hell? I purse my lips in frustration, waiting for him to come out. What is he trying to accomplish by keeping me locked in here? I hear the shower. Did he go to take a shower? Is he serious?
I'm desperate to get out of here.
Minutes that feel like years pass before he finally comes back out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. He drops his clothes in a pile on the bed. Droplets of water slide down his abdomen and his wet hair is slicked back from his face. I guess he's not cold.
I clear my throat. "Open the door, Ares."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to."
I let out a sarcastic laugh. "How mature." He sits on the bed, and his eyes move down from my chest to my legs. I swallow thickly. "I really have to go."
"You can leave after we talk."
"Good. What do you want now?"
"You."
His response surprises me and warms my body, but I try to play it cool. "You really are crazy."
"Why? Because I tell you what I want? I've always been honest with you."
"Yes, too much, I would say," I tell him, remembering the time he made it clear that he didn't want anything serious with me.
"Come here."
Heat rises to my cheeks. "Oh no, I'm not going to fall for your game."
"My game? I thought you were the one playing games."
"What are you talking about?"
"Did you enjoy kissing someone else?"
The anger in his pretty eyes is evident but, still, I lift my chin. "The truth is, yes, I did. He kisses very well. Besides, he—"
"Shut up."
A smile of victory fills my lips. The fact that I can affect him makes me feel powerful. He has always maintained that icy, expressionless demeanor with me, but at this moment I can see the emotions on his face, and it's refreshing. "You asked," I say, shrugging my shoulders.
"I admire your attempt to replace me, but we both know it's me that you want."
He moves closer to me. The smell of shampoo caresses my nose as I feel his body heat pass over me. Looking into his eyes, my heart beats like crazy, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he's right. "That's what you think. Yoshi kisses so good that—"
"Stop talking about him. Don't play with fire, Raquel."
"Jealous?"
"Yes."
His answer shocks me, and I stop breathing. Is Ares Hidalgo admitting he's jealous? Did I fall into an unknown dimension?
He runs his hand over his face. "I don't understand you. I dedicate a goal to you, and you go and kiss someone else. What are you playing at?"
"I'm not playing at anything. I'm the one who doesn't understand you."
He smiles and shakes his head. "We don't seem to understand each other." His hand takes my wrists and pulls them up over my head, holding them gently against the door. He uses his free hand to run his finger along the curve of my neck and the edge of my breasts and a shiver of pleasure runs through me.
"But our bodies do."
I'm about to fall, but I remember how cold he was after he took my virginity, and then how he sent his maid to throw me out of his room the second time we were together. I want him with all my soul, but my heart won't be able to take another hit, I know it won't.
I can't. I will no longer fall.
I know he doesn't expect any sudden movements, so I take advantage, and with my body I push him away, using all my strength to free my wrists. Ares looks surprised; his neck is red, and his breathing is agitated.
He tries to approach me again, and I raise my hand. "No."
He frowns. It's the first time I've ever turned him down, and the bewilderment is obvious in his expression. "Why not?"
"I don't want to. I'm not going to fall, not this time."
He runs his hand through his hair. "You think too much. You talk too much. Come here."
He reaches out his hand toward me, but I slap it away before he can touch me. "No, if you think I'm always going to be available to you when you feel like it, you're wrong. I'm not going to be your plaything of the moment."
He looks surprised, as if he is truly hurt by my words. "Why do you always think so badly of me?"
"Because that's all you show me. I've already cut you out of my life, Ares. So, leave me alone."
He gives me his stupid smirk. "Cut me out of your life? That's not something you do in a few weeks, Raquel."
"But I'm starting to do it, and I'll get there."
"I'm not going to let you do it."
I growl in frustration. "This is what I hate about you! You don't take me seriously, but you don't let me go either. Why? Do you enjoy playing with my feelings?"
"Of course not."
"So?"
"I don't understand why you blame me for everything. You knew what you were getting into; I was clear with you," Ares says.
"Don't change the subject! Yes, I knew what I was getting into, but I don't want any more of this. I want you out of my life, but you won't let me move on." My chest rises and falls with my rapid breathing. "Why, Ares? Why won't you leave me alone?"
"I can't."
"Why?"
I watch him hesitate about what to say, he twists his lips hesitantly.
I let out a sad laugh. "You're not saying anything because you don't have a motive. You just don't want to lose your fun of the month."
"Stop saying that! I don't see you that way!"
"In what way?" I challenge.
Silence again. That doubtful expression.
"You know this conversation is getting us nowhere. Open the door," I say, but he doesn't move. "Open the damn door, Ares!"
He remains still, so I glare toward the window. "Okay, I'll jump out the window."
When I pass by him, his voice is barely a whisper. "I need you."
I stop dead in my tracks with my back to him. Those three words are enough to paralyze me.
Ares takes my hand, turning me toward him. His eyes search mine. "Just listen to me. I'm not good with words, I can't say . . . I can't say it or explain it, but I can show you how I feel about you." He squeezes my hand. "Let me show you. I'm not trying to use you, I swear. I just want to show you." He puts my hand on his chest. His heart is beating as fast as mine.
He brings his face closer to mine slowly, giving me enough time to reject him, but when I don't, his warm lips find mine.