My eyes widen in surprise as Qin Tao's lips crash against mine. A tremor shoots through me, and I press my hands firmly against his chest. No. I don't want this. I don't want him. I don't want him touching me. But he mistakes my resistance for passion, his hands tangling roughly in my hair, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth like he's claiming me.
One time, long ago, this might've been my fantasy. But now, it feels wrong. Outrage bubbles up like a scorching tide, and I push hard against him, managing to gain just enough space to drive my fist into his chest. My teeth find his lip, and I bite down, hard.
He yelps and pulls back, stumbling a step. His hand flies to his mouth, and his wide, shocked eyes focus on the blood smeared on his fingers. "What—" he begins, but I don't give him the chance to finish.
Out of the corner of my vision, I catch the flicker of a system alert hovering at the edge of reality, eager to be acknowledged. I don't care. I don't care if this is a scenario, a trial, or some kind of twisted test wrapped in a reward.
"Get away from me." My voice cracks as I spit the words. My body trembles, my emotions unraveling as I struggle to contain them. It comes out like a sob, fragile and broken. Qin Tao's expression shifts, as if my words have gutted him, but I don't stop to examine his reaction. He's slow, hesitant, and that's all the time I need.
I slip past him, my legs carrying me faster than I thought possible. My footsteps echo in the hallway, too loud, but I don't care. My heart hammers against my ribs, adrenaline fueling my flight as nausea churns in my stomach. I pass Lubi, his face a mixture of confusion and concern, but I don't stop. I can't.
The sliding door to my room slams shut behind me, and I crumple into myself, sinking to the floor. My arms wrap tightly around my knees, drawing them close to my chest as I huddle into the safety of my down blanket. My sleeping robes bunch awkwardly, the wide sleeves slipping from my arms, their soft lavender silk catching the faint light of the room.
I clutch the trailing hem of one sleeve, the embroidered plum blossoms at the edge a stark contrast to the trembling of my hands. My lips burn where his touched mine, and I scrub at them with the heel of my palm, desperate to erase the feeling.
What was he thinking? Why did he think this was okay? The question twists and writhes in my mind. Gods, what if he meant to—
I can't finish the thought. The room feels too small, too stifling, and my chest aches from the effort of holding back tears. I won't cry. I won't let myself.
"Was that… a hidden encounter?" I mutter aloud, the words bitter on my tongue. My mind spins, too full of thoughts, questions, and anger at my own weakness. "Was this wrapped in a reward?"
I will wait for you to come back to me, my little rose.
The phrase slides into my thoughts unbidden, Yujiro's promise lingering like a specter. A glimmer of hope and a past love waiting not what that was in the library.
One of the things I hate most about rebirth is this horrible feeling of victim hood that creeps into moments like these. I expect better of myself, and yet…
"Little rose?" Yujiro's deep, steady voice breaks through the storm. It's muffled, coming from the other side of the door. "May I come in?"
I bury my face in my blanket, too exhausted to answer. There's so much I want to say, but the words won't come.
"I'm coming in. If you want me to go, I will." Yujiro pauses briefly, then the door slides open with a soft thud. He steps inside, the tatami creaking under his weight as he settles down beside me. The faint scent of smoke follows him, sweet and rich, different from what I smoked with him before.
"What was on the jade slip you found?" he asks, his tone calm and grounding. He inhales sharply and exhales a plume of smoke that curls lazily in the air.
"I don't know," I mumble, my voice muffled by the blanket. My fingers graze the cool jade in my pocket, a detail I'd forgotten in my indignation.
"You should see your prize, little rose," Yujiro says, his voice gentler now. "We can start training with it, if it's a technique you wish to utilize." He's trying to shift my focus, to pull me out of the pit I've fallen into, and I appreciate it more than I can say.
"I sent him away until you're ready for him to return," he adds after a pause.
I peek out from the cocoon of my blanket, my eyes meeting his. "You did?"
Yujiro nods, his lips quirking up in the slightest inkling of a smile as he takes another puff of his pipe. "I'm trying very hard not to laugh right now."
"Why?" I huff, annoyed despite myself.
"You look adorable," he says, his amusement barely contained. "Come out and fly, little butterfly."
"What if I'm really a moth?" I murmur, my lips twitching despite the storm still raging inside me.
"Then be an exquisite moth," Yujiro replies without missing a beat, his voice warm and unwavering. "However you wish to be—spread your wings, little rose."
My blanket slips down and I sniff, the back of my silk robe dips low exposing my shoulders, looking like folded wings as I look at Yujiro. My hair is a mess, unbrushed and cascading down my back. Yujiro's breath catches a moment, he looks at me like he's seen the most wondrous thing in the world. I blush, pulling the slip from my pocket.
The pale green jade is flecked with lavender etched with golden letters. I focus on the spiritual energy and information stored within.
[New Technique Unlocked!]
[You have learned Astral Harmony. This is a rare dual cultivation technique that utilizes the infinite spiritual energy of celestial bodies and relies on the timing of celestial events.]
I close my eyes with a soft groan.
"What's wrong? Is it a disappointing technique?" Yujiro asks, quirking a brow as he watches my expressions.
I shake my head. "No, it's just... a dual cultivation technique. I'd need to have a partner to grow with me."
Yujiro chuckles, pleased with something that I said.
"What?" I poke his arm, curious as to what he finds so amusing.
"I utilize the partner technique to that method. The Starbound Rattan. I can help you immensely if you wish to use that cultivation method. It's up to you, the slip is yours regardless." Yujiro explains with a grin. "Consider it the spoils of war."
I hold the jade slip in my hands, its cool and sings with power. It's the culmination of another cultivator's lifetime of knowledge condensed into a strip of jade. For whatever reason, it was locked away.
[Do you accept this technique?]
I nod.
Yes. Unlock basic techniques.
At the back of my mind, I hear chimes.
[You have learned Starlight Breath!]
[You have learned Guiding Step!]
[You have learned Watchful Eye!]
[You have learned Spark!]
[You have learned Pulse!]
[You've leveled up!]
[You've unlocked: Jade Beauty. When you activate this skill, you become more charming and attractive. Granting bonuses to all social interactions.]
I blink and clear the message alerts from my vision. Yujiro exhales a small ring of smoke as he waits for me. I beam at him, pleased. "Yes, please help me learn this."
He grins with a nod. "I will gladly become your cultivation partner. You can grow on your own but you will progress faster with me." He rubs his chin for a moment. "Yes, let's go out and gaze at the stars. I will take you to the roof to get closer to them." He pauses and glances down at my exposed collar bone for a moment. "Unless, you want to dual cultivate."
My face burns hot. "I thought you were... waiting for me to make a choice?"
Yujiro chuckles. "You must not remember. Dual cultivation isn't necessarily the physical act, it can more enjoyably be but we can circulate and join qi chastely... if you aren't ready for that yet."
I fiddle with the edges of my sleeves. "Oh. Right. I... haven't... I mean... I've never...."
His expression softens and he fixes my robes, moving the soft silk onto my sleeves more properly, covering me up. "Then your first time should be handled with care. When you are ready."
A surge of emotion swells up within me. He's removed the person who wronged me. He's offering me support and understanding. He's respecting me. I don't know what I did to ever deserve this. I launch myself into his arms, hugging him tightly.
He kisses the top of my head with a soft murmur. "I've waited for you for a long time. I can bear to wait just a little longer."