Harley wasn't sure what he expected when the TVA agents appeared, but it certainly wasn't this. The air was thick with tension, and the hum of TVA technology buzzed around them as Minutemen advanced, their batons crackling with ominous energy.
"You're under arrest for violating the Sacred Timeline," one of them boomed. "Surrender immediately."
Logan cracked his knuckles, his eyes flashing with predatory intent. "You don't need to say 'surrender,' buddy. You can just skip to the part where you bleed out."
"You're really not helping, you know that, right?" Harley whispered to Deadpool, who had already begun juggling his katanas like a circus performer.
Deadpool flashed him a grin. "Meh, they were never gonna listen to me anyway. Besides, who's ever been arrested by a time cop and lived to tell the tale? We'll make it fun! Trust me!"
Deadpool lunged forward with wild abandon, twirling through the air like an acrobat on speed. With a flourish, he thrust one katana straight through a Minuteman's chest, twisting it with a sickening crunch. The agent dropped like a sack of potatoes, but Deadpool wasn't done. He pulled the sword free, wiping the blood on the now-dead TVA agent's uniform.
"Oops! My bad. I didn't mean to ruin your day so quickly," Deadpool said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But you really shouldn't dress like you want to die."
Logan, meanwhile, was a blur of claws and muscle. He grinned savagely as he dug his adamantium claws into a Minuteman's neck, severing his head in a single smooth motion. The body crumpled to the floor with a thud, the head rolling like a sick game of bowling.
"You don't want to play in my league, pal," Logan growled, kicking the decapitated head aside with disdain.
Deadpool leaped into the fray, spinning mid-air, and drove both swords deep into the chest of another Minuteman, tearing through armor like paper. The agent gurgled as he fell to the ground, his weapon clattering uselessly beside him. Deadpool glanced at his hands, feigning disappointment.
"Not as satisfying as I hoped. I like my kills to have a little more... flair," he muttered, wiping the blades clean.
Logan wasn't interested in flair; he was all about efficiency. He grabbed one Minuteman by the throat, hoisting him off the ground with one hand. "You're gonna tell me everything," he snarled.
The agent's eyes widened in terror. "We... we can't—"
Logan didn't give him a chance to finish. With a swift motion, he plunged his claws into the agent's stomach, twisting them as the agent's face contorted in agony. The Minuteman gasped, blood spilling from his mouth as he crumpled to the floor.
"Tell me now," Logan spat, wiping the blood from his claws on the agent's ruined uniform. "You're not walking out of here. No one is."
But the TVA was relentless. More Minutemen poured through the golden portals, their eyes fixed on the trio of troublemakers. Harley, still clutching the device that had gotten them all in this mess, felt his heart race. He could hear the familiar sound of the TVA's temporal weapons charging, and he knew that if he didn't do something fast, they'd all be dead.
"You know," Deadpool said cheerfully, plucking an energy baton from a fallen agent, "I've always wanted to try one of these. Looks like it could be a fun little toy!"
He swung it with all the finesse of someone who had never held a weapon like that before, only to miss and hit another Minuteman in the face. The poor guy's head exploded in a burst of crimson, and Deadpool blinked.
"Whoa! Okay, that... that was unexpected. But not unfun. Not unfun at all."
Meanwhile, Logan was still in his element. His claws were bloodied, his body a blur of motion as he tore through the TVA ranks like a rampaging animal. He slammed into one agent, crushing the TVA soldier's ribs with a single punch before slicing his throat open with the other hand.
Harley stared in horror and awe. "This is insane. How are you guys so good at this?"
Deadpool winked. "We've had practice, kid. Lots of practice." He proceeded to impale another Minuteman with one of his katanas, lifting the body off the ground and tossing it aside like a ragdoll.
Logan, meanwhile, seemed to be having a personal vendetta against one of the Minutemen, a tall, muscular agent who was fighting with a peculiar intensity. Logan's eyes narrowed as he lunged at the agent, slashing with his claws. The TVA agent parried with his baton, sparks flying, but Logan was faster. He sidestepped, then buried his claws in the agent's chest, twisting them with a vicious snarl.
"You really didn't want to mess with me," Logan muttered, as the agent slumped, blood gurgling from the corners of his mouth.
Deadpool, never one to be outdone, twirled around and kicked another agent in the chest, sending him crashing into a stack of crates. He flipped forward, slicing through the agent's torso with a clean strike from his katana. "Who's next? You, you, or you? It's hard to choose when I'm having this much fun."
More TVA agents materialized, but Deadpool and Logan were on a roll. With each strike, each kill, the odds seemed to tip more in their favor. The agents fell one by one, their bodies littering the floor like discarded action figures. Yet, as the blood spattered and the bodies piled up, Harley could feel the weight of it all. The TVA wasn't going to let this go. They had to be more careful.
Just then, a massive explosion shook the ground, and Harley barely had time to react before the walls around them crumbled. From the wreckage, a towering figure emerged—an armored TVA enforcer, glowing with energy.
Deadpool turned to Harley, his eyes wide with excitement. "Well, that was fun, but I think it's time for big guns now. You ready for this, buddy?"
Harley gulped. "I think I'd prefer not to get pruned today."
Deadpool tossed him a grenade. "You're gonna want to catch this, then."
Logan snarled as he cracked his knuckles again. "Let's finish this. And then we get out before they bring out the real heavy hitters."
With a roar, the battle continued. Time cops? They were no match for this chaotic trio.