The TVA Judge stood tall in the shimmering golden light of the portal, their staff glowing with raw temporal energy. Their expression was calm, almost disapproving, as if scolding unruly children.
"You've crossed too many lines," the judge intoned, their voice carrying an echoing authority. "The Sacred Timeline demands balance, and you three are chaos incarnate."
Deadpool clapped slowly, his mouth already running. "Wow, chaos incarnate. Is that your nickname on LinkedIn? Or just what your mom called you when you forgot to clean your room?"
The judge narrowed their eyes and slammed the staff into the ground. A shockwave of energy rippled out, knocking Harley and Logan off their feet. Deadpool, naturally, cartwheeled backward with exaggerated flair, landing in a crouch.
Harley groaned, clutching the wall for support. "I think I liked the robot better."
Logan was already back on his feet, claws extended. "Keep talking, Wade. I'll deal with this."
"You're welcome to try," the judge said coldly, raising the staff. Time itself seemed to bend around them, objects slowing, speeding up, or flickering in and out of existence. Logan charged forward, but the judge waved the staff, and suddenly he froze mid-stride, suspended in a bubble of warped time.
"Logan!" Harley yelled, but there was nothing he could do.
Deadpool sighed, drawing his katanas. "Typical bad guy move. You think freezing the angry guy is gonna stop us? Newsflash: I'm way more annoying than him!"
Deadpool leapt at the judge, blades flashing. The judge countered with elegant precision, their staff meeting his katanas in a flurry of sparks. "You're persistent, I'll give you that," the judge said, their tone calm as ever.
"Persistent? That's a polite way of saying I'm basically a human cockroach," Deadpool quipped.
The judge spun their staff, unleashing a temporal wave that aged one of Deadpool's katanas to dust mid-swing. Deadpool stared at the hilt, then at the judge. "Hey, that was custom-made! Do you have any idea how expensive vibranium-plated blades are?!"
Before the judge could respond, Logan broke free of the time bubble with a guttural roar. His claws slashed through the air, narrowly missing the judge, who dodged with inhuman speed. "Finally," Logan growled. "You're mine."
The battle raged on, the judge using their staff to manipulate time itself, creating loops, speeding up movements, or freezing objects mid-air. Logan and Deadpool adapted quickly, working in chaotic tandem. Logan's raw power and relentless attacks kept the judge on the defensive, while Deadpool darted around, taunting and striking with surprising effectiveness.
Meanwhile, Harley found himself scrambling for cover, clutching the fallen enforcer's timepad. "Come on, think, Harley," he muttered, fiddling with the device. The interface was confusing, filled with symbols and settings he couldn't begin to understand. But he knew one thing: they needed an escape, and this thing was their ticket.
A sudden explosion of light drew Harley's attention back to the fight. The judge had caught Logan mid-charge again, trapping him in another time loop. Deadpool, however, was nowhere to be seen.
"Give up," the judge said, turning their attention to Harley. "You're not meant to be here. None of this should have happened."
Harley froze, the timepad trembling in his hands.
Then, out of nowhere, Deadpool appeared behind the judge, his remaining katana poised for a strike. "Peekaboo!" he yelled, driving the blade into the judge's side.
The judge staggered, their control over time faltering. Logan broke free, lunging forward and slashing the staff in two with a single, powerful strike.
"No!" the judge cried as the staff crackled and fizzled, the golden light of the portal dimming.
Logan didn't give them a chance to recover. With a brutal uppercut, he sent the judge sprawling. Deadpool followed up by tossing a grenade at their feet.
"Time's up!" Deadpool said with a grin as the grenade exploded, enveloping the judge in a burst of energy. When the light faded, nothing remained but a charred imprint on the floor.
Harley blinked. "Did we just... kill a time god?"
"Yup!" Deadpool said cheerfully, dusting off his hands. "And it was oddly satisfying."
Logan knelt down, grabbing the shattered remains of the staff. "No more games. We're taking this thing and getting out of here."
Harley held up the timepad. "I think this is our ride. If I can just figure out how to—"
The timepad beeped, and a holographic interface lit up. Harley frantically scrolled through the options, his hands shaking. "Okay, uh, where do we want to go?"
Deadpool leaned over his shoulder. "Avengers Tower, obviously. I've got a score to settle with Tony Stark. And by score, I mean I want to raid his minibar."
Logan growled. "Somewhere safe. No more surprises."
Harley hesitated, then pressed a button at random. The timepad activated, surrounding them in a swirling vortex of golden light.
As the TVA headquarters faded around them, Harley felt a mix of relief and dread. They had escaped—for now—but where they were going next was anyone's guess.