Dean had his chair scooted as close to the bed as possible. His legs were uncomfortably folded tight. He was leaning over Allie's and singing to his daughter. He was softly singing Creed's Eyes Wide Open.
'Well, I just heard. The news today.
Seems my life is gonna change.
I close my eyes and begin to pray.
Then tears of joy stream down my face.
With arms wide open under the sunlight.
Welcome to this place, I'll show you everything.
With arms wide open.'
"That was really beautiful, Mr. Stapleton."
A short, dark-haired woman was standing behind him.
"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop," she said.
"No, it's okay."
"I'm Karen. I'm your wife's OBGYN."
He stood up to shake her hand.
"Oh my, your wife's friend was right," she said, looking up.
"About what?"
"About you being an exceptionally large man. And exceptionally handsome."
They shook hands.
"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Karen," he said.
"Karen's my first name. She smiled. Please have a seat."
Dean pulled a chair out for her and brought one over from the other side of the room.
"Thank you. Such a gentleman. I can see why she's crazy about you."
"Were you able to talk to your wife before this happened?" she asked.
"No. I just got back into town. I didn't even know she was pregnant."
Oh my. What a bittersweet homecoming. I'm glad you made it home safe. I heard you were out of town for a while because of your job. Thirty-one weeks is a long time to be away. I hope whatever you were doing turned out well."
"Thanks, I appreciate it. It went as well as it could have. It was a surprise when I got home," he said.
It was great that your brother was able to be with your wife while you were gone.
My brother?
Yes, Alex. Allie introduced him as your brother. Well, she said this is Uncle Alex. Knowing she had no living relatives, I just assumed.
Dean smiled a little. At least she didn't say he was daddy.
No, he's just a really close friend of hers.
Well, he's a good friend. She was well cared for while you were away.
Thanks for being the fifth person to remind me of, he thought.
Do you know you're having a girl?
Yes. Uncle Alex was friendly enough to tell me."
I was surprised. She said she was going to wait for you to get back or find out when the little peanut came out to say hello.
He felt like such a despicable excuse for a human. There he was blowing lines, sucking down exceptive whisky and wine, and banging loose women in the backroom of the Crystal Cave, and here's Allie waiting for him to come home to find out if they were having a son or a daughter, all while believing he was still being faithful.
Your daughter has been measuring small for her gestational age. She told me that she conceived right before you had to leave.
Yes, that is correct, based on my recollection. It was three days before I had to leave her... them. I never imagined I would be leaving behind my pregnant... wife. The kid who did the ultrasound mentioned something about a piece of fruit or vegetable. I can't remember. Everything has been such a blur to me.
You don't need to justify anything to me.
Like I said, the baby is small. Allie started gaining enough weight, but the baby isn't getting the nutrients she needs to grow. She's developed fine so far, but she will be born small. She's deficient on the percentile scale.
How small?
She's in the third percentile for weight and the second for height. I was told your sister is small.
Yes, she is tiny. Compared to me and my dad.
Mr. Stapleton, there is a substantial percentage of the population that is tiny compared to you, she said with a smile. Mr. Stapleton, have you ever heard of
IUGR?
I have. My sister encouraged me to read up on women's health.
Well, that's nice to hear. So, you know it's usually caused by the placenta, the tissue that brings nutrients and oxygen to the developing baby, or the blood flow in the umbilical cord? The mother's age is sometimes a factor, too. I think between your wife's age and the endometriosis, the placenta was compromised.
"Wow, none of this is good news," he said, hanging his head.
"Good news is the baby is 31-1/2 weeks. If she happens to go into labor, the baby will have a high chance of survival. If your wife makes it to 35 weeks, I will do a C-section and deliver your baby girl. I want to give your wife a series of 2 shots of Antenatal betamethasone. It's a steroid given to---"
"Speed up the development of the lungs. So, waiting a couple of weeks to do the C-section will help with the lung development, but she still needs to come out early?" he asked, raising his head.
"Yes. Correct, it's better to have her growing on the outside than staying on the inside."
"Okay. Allie knows all this?"
"Yes. She was diagnosed at twenty weeks. We discussed the shots and the C-section. She's fully on board."
"She's been going through this alone for two and a half months."
"Well, Alex was there to support her. She had someone, so don't worry. I'm sure she would have much rather had you, but she was well taken care of," she said.
Dean thought about it. His letter arrived a couple of weeks after that, most likely. The fact that she and Alvarez started an intimate relationship makes sense. She needed someone more than ever after that kind of news. I am not excusing what Alvarez had said, but maybe Dean shouldn't have ripped his throat out. He should have been there.
He still wouldn't mind kicking his ass. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Mr. Stapleton, everything is going to be okay.
He felt incredibly guilty but said, "I just want my wife to be okay." He paused. "Not that I don't want my baby to be okay."
I know. I must ask: If a situation arises, do we need to know who would take precedence as far as life-saving measures are concerned? It's a difficult decision, I know. I've seen many future parents make it. When your wife regains consciousness, you can discuss it together.
"IF my wife regains consciousness."
"You can't think that way, Mr. Stapleton. She will regain consciousness," she said reassuringly.
"She wants every measure to guarantee the babies' survival. Alex told me that. I guess they discussed it. Now that I know what's happening, it makes sense that they did. So, no need to discuss because I doubt she will ever change her answer. Our daughter takes precedence over her."
"I get that 100% of the time from the mothers. The fathers are always so conflicted. But they don't feel that baby move or kick for the first time. She does. It's a different kind of love. If you talk to your parents, please ask your mom if there were any complications with your sister. I would be intrigued to know how there is such a substantial difference between you two," she said, standing up.
"I can do that. I've always wondered myself."
"If you have any questions, have the nurse page me."
When she left the room, he returned to Allie's side.
"You don't know how much I love people calling you my wife. You know you would be by now. We would have been celebrating our 1-month anniversary in a couple of days. Did you cry on our wedding date? I did. Then I got really high and got sucked off in the VIP section of the club with a dozen people watching. And I thought what you and Alvarez did was revolting. At least you guys were hiding under a table, and I was the only one who saw you. Lola told me not to tell you anything beyond what I had admitted to you already. It's selfish of me, but I feel like if I admitted it to you, I could get repentance from God," he spoke low, almost in a mumbling whisper.
Fuck I am such a degenerate, he thought.
He put his head down and cried. He tried to continue the song, but the guilt was overwhelming,