When He returned to the ICU, Allie's room was empty. He started to panic. Everything that could go wrong was flying through his mind. His palms got sweaty, and his mouth went dry. He began to shake. Peggy came up behind him.
"I wanted to catch you before you got to her room."
"Where is she? Where did she go? Is she okay? Did something happen?"
Peggy saw the panic and terror in his eyes. "Calm down, Mr. Stapleton. Your wife was just taken down to radiology for an MRI."
"NO! She can't have an MRI. She has shrapnel in her back. She was hit with fragments from an IED."
"Oh my! I'll be back in a few minutes."
He paced back and forth the length of the small room. It only took him four strides to walk the length of the room.
This situation is going to kill me before she even wakes up, he thought.
It took about 5 minutes for Peggy to come back into the room.
"Ok. Everything has been straightened out. No MRI. They will repeat the CT like they had done yesterday," she said. "I am so sorry. We had absolutely no idea. It wasn't in her medical history."
"I'm not surprised. Her surgery was done at a mobile hospital where she deployed. It was a quick, crude job. She refused to go to the hospital and return to the States."
"Wow. What did she do? Volunteer work?"
"No, Ma'am. She was a Marine. She was deep in the sh... soup," he said.
Peggy smiled. "Well, that explains a lot."
"What is the CT for?"
"They want to see if her swelling has gone down. If there is any visible damage to the lobes. If the swelling has gone down substantially, they might take her off the MIC medication."
"That would be amazing. How soon will we know if that can happen?"
"Well, don't get your hopes up. The radiologist will have to look at the films and, depending on how backed up they are, will decide how quickly we will know," she said.
"Sit around and wait."
"You're catching on to how things work around here. She should be up soon. That I know." she said. "If you need anything, give me a buzz."
"Thank you."
He put in his air Pods and played Allie's Awesome Playlist. So much of it made him smile. He could imagine her dancing around and singing. He wants to see her dancing in some of them, too. There were a couple of songs he was confused about why they would be on their relationship soundtrack. He figured they were on there because they were more for her and her life than the relationship. He tried to guess what she was thinking when she added songs to her playlist. Then he hoped she wouldn't get upset that he listened to it. He wanted to know why she picked the specific songs. Talking to Lola made him understand music's role in our emotional being. He smiled.
They brought her back about an hour later. No change except for her position in bed. Sleeping Beauty. He wanted her to wake her up with a kiss. She was his Princess Buttercup.
A younger black man was pushing her in, and a young nurse was squeezing air into her intubation tube. The man saw him first.
"Hey man, how ya doing?"
"I've had better days. I've been shot at before, so that was a tough day."
The young nurse did a double take. She hadn't seen him in the corner.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was here with her. The CT went well. I hope your... sister... will be okay."
"My wife. Not my sister."
She looked disappointed, like most women when they find out he's not single. The ironic thing is that he was, in fact, very single.
"Have a good night, man," he said as he walked out the door.
The nurse stopped bagging and hooked her back up to the ventilator.
"I hope everything works out for your wife."
"Thank you."
He was alone with her once again. The rhythm of the ventilator and the quiet beeping of her heart rate were the only sounds in the room. He pulled his chair up to the side of the bed and resumed his vigil. He held her hand and put his other hand on her belly.
"Hey, little one, it's daddy. I'm going to see you soon. They are going to make sure you're okay." he said. "You are okay in there, right?"
Two seconds later, he felt the little flick again and then another. His hand was so large it was covering her entire belly. He noticed that her belly didn't look noticeably big. He ran his hand in a circle, feeling every inch. He hoped everything was okay with her being so small. Then again, if she had been any larger, she would have had difficulty defending herself. He was so thankful that the trauma to her stomach didn't hurt her. Knowing Allie, she fiercely defended her baby. He took his hand from hers and started to stroke her hair. He spoke to her quietly, close to her ear.
"Do you know how much I love you? Do you have any idea how in love I am with our baby girl?" he asked. "Allie, I want you to be my wife, I want to be your husband, I want us to be a family. I am so sorry for what I did. I will never be able to take any of it back. If I ask you to marry me again, will you say yes?"
He stood up just enough to kiss her forehead. He wanted to kiss her lips so badly.
How would I wake her with true love's kiss if he couldn't kiss her lips? "Shittiest fairytale ever," he whispered.
What makes you think you're still her prince? Your kiss may just be a kiss. He thought Alex may be the King, and she is his Queen.
A young man came in pushing an ultrasound machine. "Good evening. I'm Dennis, and I will be doing your wife's ultrasound."
"Hey. I'm Dean, the daddy."
"I'm going to prep her," he said.
He lowered the sheet to her hips and raised the gown to the top of her ribs. Her baby bump was exposed. Dean saw her bare skin stretched across her growing belly for the first time. She looked a little bigger than he initially thought she was. Her body was still in phenomenal shape. Dennis turned around and began setting up the machine, pressing buttons and flipping switches. Dean reached forward and put his hand on her bare belly. The warmth of her flesh again on his hand caused a rush of feeling through his body. For a split second, he felt lightheaded. He thought about the fact that Alex had been able to touch her every day. It made him angry at Alex and Allie. Then his wise mind poked its head in and reminded him that none of that would have happened if he would have just kept his nose clean and his dick in his pants.
Dennis shook the bottle of blue-green jelly and squirted a generous amount on her little bump. He spread it around with the wand. He pressed the wand down with a slight amount of pressure, moved it around, picked it up, pressed back down, and moved it back and forth up and down.
"Ah, there we go." he pointed to the screen. "There she is."
"Oh my God. That's really her! That's our baby girl."
"Yes, it is. Mr. Stapleton, meet your baby girl."
"See that? She's sucking her thumb," he pointed to the baby's profile. "That's her little nose. She has ten fingers, and..." he pointed to her little feet. "Ten toes."
The little girl kicked her legs.
"Maybe she will be a dancer," Dennis said.
"No. MMA fighter." Dean said with a grin.
"Look! She's drinking now."
You could see her mouth moving rhythmically.
"It looks like she's chewing. So, she's drinking the amniotic fluid?" he asked.
"Along with other stuff. The liquid needs to go somewhere after it goes through her."
"It's like swallowing swimming pool water," Dean said.
"Nice." Dennis laughed. "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"
"I would. Yes, please."
Dennis turned the dial, and there it was, his little girl's heartbeat.
"It's fast. Is she okay? It's like a mile a minute," he said.
"It's a perfect 140. It should be between 110 and 160, depending on what's happening around it and with the mother. We are pushing on her and disturbing her sleepy time."
"That's astounding, it's like mine and Allie's love brought to life," he said.
"That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard," he said. "Mr. Stapleton, your baby is perfectly healthy. Amniotic fluid is good. She looks strong. I would say she's in perfect health. I will have the radiologist look it over. I only noticed that she's measuring a little small for her age. At least considering your genetics."
"It's possible, my sister is 4'9. So somewhere in the gene pool, there's a shallow end."
Dennis laughed," I don't care who you are. That was funny."
"You know, it figures. I am being so funny, and my wife is in a coma. She doesn't think I am very entertaining."
"Tell her about the shallow end when she comes out," he said.
He packed up the machine and wiped the jelly off.
"I'll do that," Dean offered.
"Thanks. That way, she can blame you if you miss a spot. Women can be savage."
"No problem. Oh, almost forgot this is for you."
He handed Dean a black and white grainy photo of his daughter. This is for you."
He sat there just staring at the photo. He knew Ally had a couple of these. She would have gotten one when she found out they were having a girl or even when she got her first ultrasound without him. So much. He had missed so much, and he couldn't miss anymore.
Jenny came into the room. "Good evening, Mr. Stapleton. I heard you just saw your little peanut. Dennis thought it was your first look at her."
"I missed the others. I was on an out-of-town assignment. Why did you call her Peanut?"
"Oh, that's disappointing. I heard Detective Bruss talking with a sergeant about her. He called her Peanut.
"He said the baby was a little small. How can he tell?"
"They measure the femur to gauge growth. At this rate, your baby should be the size of a coconut," she said. Somewhere around 16 inches long and about 3 1/3 pounds.
He looked at her, a little confused.
"Fruit and vegetables are the easiest way to tell people where the gestational period is."
"What piece of fruit or vegetable is our Peanut?"
She laughed, "She's closer to a small head of lettuce. She looks healthy, just a little tiny. I guess Peanut is a good nickname," she said.
"Yeah, I guess it is, huh."
He got dizzy and sat down heavily in the chair.
"If something should happen, your daughter has a high chance of survival. She's close to 32 weeks. Just because she is small doesn't mean she's not physically progressing to where she should be. She's as tiny as a head of lettuce. Does that make sense?"
"It does, actually. I'll keep that in mind when I'm praying to the man upstairs."
"Mr. Fallon?" she laughed. "I'm just joking. See, I can be funny too. Get some rest."
He fell asleep leaning over, head on the bed, hand on her stomach, holding the picture.