-The day before the last day of school-
The class is loud again, chatter after chatter since it's lunch time. It's pouring outside, cold. I'm not even wearing a cardigan right now since I thought I'm already late and quickly left.
I looked back at Kaede's seat and there he was, sleeping already in the afternoon. Probably planning to sleep through the break.
"Kaede," I called out silently as I approached him.
He doesn't respond as I sit in front of him.
"Are you really asleep or what?"
I rested my head in front of his on the table. Looking at his face makes me remember Haru again, I guess I'll never forget about him this way.
I held his hands and his fingers seemed to have started callusing, probably from a guitar.
"Why would you rather be with me than normal people?" I asked him even though I know he won't hear me. I slowly closed my eyes.
From what I remember so far, when I was a child I never really had friends. Even now. People thought that I'm weird, all because I don't act like most kids. I remember overhearing one of them saying that I looked like a ghost, probably all because of my long white hair and how pale I am. That was the case before he entered my life.. rather forcingly.
"Hiki!" A voice called out.
I looked back to see Kaede running towards me.
"Guess what I've got today? Look!" He said excitedly, waving his teddy bear in front of my face.
"You're too old to be playing with those," I coldly replied.
"You're being mean. I'm only a year older than you."
It's another playdate set by our parents. Kaede is wearing his usual black jacket while mom dressed me up again. A white dress with floral patterns, my hair. Long enough to reach my hips.
"You really do look like a girl," Kaede said, breaking the silence.
I only continued playing with the toy car.
"I do?"
"Yes," Kaede kept on looking at my face. I can't seem to understand if he's serious or joking. "You're really pretty. But aren't you a boy?"
"Yes. Yes, I am but," I looked back towards my mother that's having a conversation with Kaede's. A cigarette in her hand again.
She looked at me for an instance but I quickly turned back. I overheard them for a bit and heard her talk.
"Oh, Hibiki? Yes! Isn't my daughter beautiful?" She said, laughing while looking at me sharply.
I faced Kaede again and I continued on playing with my toy.
"I'm not sure."
Ting
A sudden notification seemed to have woken me up. I opened my eyes just to see Kaede already awake, a hand under his chin, staring at me.
"Afternoon," He said in a soft voice, followed by a smile. "Why are you here?"
He rested his head on the desk to look at me. I closed my eyes to avoid his gaze.
"I didn't have anything to do."
He suddenly pinched my cheek.
"This doesn't feel like the Hibiki I know," He jokingly said as he waved our hands, that are still together in front of my face.
I quickly took my hand off. A few seconds passed and someone called out Kaede.
"Kaede?" One of our classmates came looking for him.
He's quite popular around here. He's seen to be very responsible, kind, mature and probably every compliment you can think of. Yeah that's his public image, but it's a bit far from the real Kaede.
In a glimpse of an eye, Kaede has changed a lot. Especially since his mother's death.
Ring
"Take care of Kaede for me, will you?"
A sudden memory flashed into my mind again. I promised her but I guess it's the opposite right now.
"Hello! Is that really you? Hibiki?" A bubbly, irritating voice interrupted my thoughts. She sat down at Kaede's seat.
She has short brown hair, looking like Dora's sister but fits her look I guess. Dark eyes and her skirt looks shorter than what's normally allowed.
"I'm Asami if you still remember me. From the class just next to yours. I've planned on talking to you for a long time now but I've gotten quite busy. But does the nickname Ami make you remember?" She asked loudly as if she's not in front of me.
"Hello then.. Ami," Silence took over as she waited for me. Waiting for another word to come out of my mouth. "What is it that you want from me?"
"We're old friends don't you remember? Also it seems like you and Kaede have been pretty close since," She said while she checked her nails.
"Sorry, I don't think he's looking for a relationship right now," I responded almost instantly.
"Geez, he's hot and all but that's not the reason I'm asking. It's about you."
She stood up and looked at my right hand. Seeing the mole down my thumb, she gave a soft smile.
"It's really you," Her soft demeanor instantly reverted back. "This might be really weird leaving you just after starting a conversation, but um here's my phone number," She quickly said while putting her number in my contacts. "Call me sometimes."
She gave me back my phone and walked out the door. I'm alone again in the room. The rain poured harder. She seemed to be someone from my childhood. I don't really remember much since that accident and it's obvious that she knows more about me than I do myself.
I sat back at my seat again, and just stared at my unfinished assignment. Spacing out into nothingness.
Her eyes were familiar and intense. Everything about her is lively but her eyes.. it's almost like mine. I also can't help but notice that her gaze seems too intimidating, for normal people. She has dark eyes but there's a hint of red in her eyes whenever she gave that look.
Her act surely is impressive. But the eyes can never lie, it's the window to one's soul yet she looks like she doesn't have one.
⁰-⁰
"So, Yamamoto's dead now huh?" Asami asked as she sat on the swing.
It's dark and cold already but here we are in the park. The only light that's illuminating the playground was the bright stars and the moon above.
"You know him?"
"Of course I do. After all, he was once my friend too."
She stopped swinging.
"Who are you?" I asked with a serious face.
"A friend-"
"Who are you?" I repeated.
Silence took over. She followed with a sigh.
"Remember that one time when you were wearing a white dress and fell into a puddle? Do you also remember when you jumped into the lake when I told you Kaede was drowning?" Asami asked me things that I can't seem to remember.
"No. So what about it?"
"It's me Hibiki," Her voice turned serious. "Say hello to your sister."
Is she joking with me? I don't remember having a sister.
"You're probably thinking that you don't have a sister but trust me you do. I'm from dad's side of the family."
A step sister then.
"I've always been with you since we were children. I can't believe that I'm so unimportant to your childhood that you forgot me," She said while laughing. "Now then, about Yama-"
"He's not dead yet," I interrupted. "I won't believe it, not until I see his body."
"They already held a funeral though. His body's already burnt to ashes," She replied as if she was making a joke about it.
What an unhinged woman.
"He's not-"
"Yamamoto's dead Hibiki," She followed, sounding annoyed.
"I'm sure that it's just another reason to make me stay away from hi-"
"Looks like somebody needs a reality check," She stood up and pointed a finger at my head.
"Missing for a few weeks, a news report about his death, a funeral held by his family. Still not believing? He's dead. Yamamoto's dead. Even if you deny it. He. Is. Dead. You should get that through your head and move on."
I don't know what to say or do since all the things she said were true, too true. It really is hard to accept. The past few days, I've only tried to forget about the situation. Running from reality.
"Look, even your heart has accepted it," She pointed at my chest.
It suddenly felt heavy and my legs felt weak, it's crushing me from every angle. Tears started forming, one rolled down my cheek.
"Tears?" She muttered, looking confused just as I am.
"You can cry?" She laughed it off and turned her back on me. "How weak.. We're not the same after all."
She walked away while I continued wiping my tears. Her words really hit the nerves huh?
These tears really are an inconvenience. I'd rather not feel anything at all. I guess she's right.. no. She is right. It's hard to accept but I need to or else nothing will change.
I just walked and walked without a reason and found myself at the beach where Haru made his promise.
I sat down on the clean white sands of the beach and looked into the distance. The sea is calm, so calm that there aren't any small waves trying to reach the land.
"As long as these waves crash into the shore here, I'll always love you. I'll always be with you."
What do I do now? Haru?
The small waves that once touched my feet have calmed down. It doesn't mean that your love has come to an end right?