SYDNEY
When I opened my eyes, I couldn't recognize where I was. My head hurt badly. I sat up and managed to recollect my memories. I had lost control of my emotions because of my mom and had a panic attack. I must have fainted and when I did, I hit the floor hard. I lifted my hand to my forehead and felt the heap of bandages on it. There would be a scar. Another terrible scar to remind me of my father. My arm instinctively touched my belly where the first huge ugly scar was. It was the reason I couldn't change clothes around my friends, why I couldn't wear crop tops, why I couldn't go swimming in bikinis or wear body con gowns, and many more things I couldn't list out. If it was on my forehead then I couldn't hide it. My mind went to Jason and thought of him seeing me like that. I wanted to cry but my mother and a doctor walked in. I was in a hospital? Was it that bad? I closed my eyes and lay back down. My mother held my hand and I could hear the shakiness in her voice when she asked if I would ever wake up.
"It's ok Ms Agatha. She hasn't entered a coma and will be up anytime soon. Though I do fear a mild case of amnesia. It won't be too bad. All she might forget will range from a few hours to a week at most but if you're lucky she will wake up fine. I hope you don't mind my asking but may I know what induced her panic attack?"
"We had a traumatic experience with her father, and I guess she's still dealing with it. That's all I can say"
"OK. Well, I'd advise enrolling her in therapy. I could give some recommendations if you'd like?"
"No. thank you doctor but you've done enough"
"Ok then. Pls, keep her away from anything that may stress her out and let her indulge in whatever she wants for the next few weeks. If she likes dancing give her music. If she likes food take her to a good restaurant."
"I understand. May I take her home now?"
"Of course. Just let me get a nurse to check her vitals first" The doctor left the room.
This was my chance. She couldn't stop me from dating if I never told her, or, in this case, if I forgot I ever told her. I slowly opened my eyes and let out a small cough. My mum rushed to hug me and helped me sit up.
"Mum, what happened?" I said tried to sound weak and confused "Why am I in a hospital and-" I lifted my hand and touched the bandages "What happened to my head?"
"Don't stress Sydney, I'll explain all that soon but what do you remember?"
"What do you mean mum?"
"Do you remember what happened last week, on Sunday?"
"Uhm. I do. That lady in the choir was singing and went off key and the pastor burst out laughing" I laughed a bit at the thought of it.
"OK good. Do you remember what happened today?" my mum asked almost anxiously
This was the moment. If I said yes, she would never let me and Jason be together but if I said no…
"Ummm. we… I … I don't remember" I tried to look as shocked as I could and just stayed there looking like I was going through a lot of mental work. I forced a tear down my cheek and looked at my mum "I'm sorry" and then I burst into tears. A bit overdramatic? Yes, I know but desperate times call for desperate measures. My mom wrapped me in her arms and though it felt unnatural, I hugged her back.
"Don't cry Sydney. Please don't cry. It's going to be fine. I promise. I got you. Hey, you hungry? There's a good restaurant near here. We can go eat something really good. Would you like that?"
I pulled back from her arms, wiped my tears and nodded. A few minutes later we were at the restaurant. A few times I expected her to talk to me about Jason but surprisingly she didn't and I enjoyed every single moment of knowing she was tormenting herself worrying about me when all this could simply have been avoided if she hadn't stressed me out. I know what you're thinking. 'Sydney, how terrible of you? why would you treat your mother like that?' I love my mom, and I always will, but its my life not hers. I have to take charge before she sends me on the wrong path because of her past. When we went home, she returned my phone and kissed me goodnight which was a first. I sat up in bed for the next thirty minutes thinking of what to tell him. He would answer the moment I did and then we would talk till five in the morning and sleep all day in school. Precisely why my phone was taken in the first place. I wanted to tell him what happened to me but how could I without telling him about my father. I finally decided against it and dropped the phone on my bedstand. With thoughts of Jason in my head I fell asleep.
---
When I was getting ready to for school the next day, I made a conscious effort to look good, which I must admit, is very abnormal behavior for someone like me. My mom helped me tie up my hair in a high bun and braid the front of my hair into long thick braids to cover the scar on my forehead which thankfully wasn't as horrid as I imagined it'd be. I used over 15 minutes searching for my shorter skirt which I had thrown into my closet eons ago after outgrowing it. After I sprayed the perfume I stole from my mom all over myself, I looked in the mirror once last time and was ready to go. My mom made a neighbor drop me off at school and I didn't really mind because it meant I could skip the in-car sermons for the first time since this year started. By the time I reached the school, assembly had already started. I dropped my bag in class and ran to the assembly grounds and took my place as the fifth tallest girl in SS2. I could see Jason standing at the far end of his line in SS3. He was smiling. He knew I was there. It made me smile too, knowing I was free to love him without interruption. Assembly was dispersed and Jason half walked, half ran to me and gave me a bear hug. It gave me butterflies in my belly and I hugged him back. Still in a hug, he picked me up and spun me around.
"Jason stop! Put me down! Are trying to let every teacher in the world know we're dating" I said in between giggles.
He put me down and smiled. "I heard about what happened. For a second I thought I was a bad luck charm."
He cupped my face in his arms and looked at the scar hidden under my braided bangs, but before he could say anything, we noticed Nancy, the biggest snitch in school, heading towards us and we went our separate ways, occasionally looking back to smile at each other. The classes seemed to drag longer than it did on other days especially for a Friday. The fact that Tyra wasn't in school didn't help matters either. I told myself constantly that it was my mind playing tricks on me but it didn't feel like that. It felt like the entire universe was enjoying watching beg to leave the class and see Jason. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him about the panic attack, the scar, my mom. I wanted him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay because we had each other. I was so lost in my daydreams that I almost missed Jason waving to me from the windows of my class.
"Get out of there." He mouthed with a huge smile plastered across his face.