After that night, I didn't know that Kashrut also noticed what happened. Then, because I was annoyed with her sister, I couldn't stop myself from saying everything to her. I told her what happened and the reason behind it.
"Sister Lief, she really is something else. I also noticed that it was you whom Liam approached, not her. The girlfriend of brother Taylor and I were also surprised, you know. It's like you two have your own world there"
"Hahaha! Yes. I saw Yohan sing. I didn't even enjoy what he sang." I complained to Kashrut because she knows how I feel about Yohan.
"That's right. How much did you spend there, sis by the way?"
"I don't know, I just give them 1,500."
In the amount I mentioned. Kashrut was taken aback. With that amount, I guessed it's too much already as she knows how much we spend when we usually drink sometime. It can't even reach 1000 but with that amount, we all chip in.
"Wow, that's really something, and then she did that. And she's the one who suggested that you drink that."
"Hahaha! You what, it's okay. Don't worry about it. It's just a one time thing" I reassured her.
After that escapade, in the month of September, I learned that I passed the Civil Service Examination, in Professional Level. According to them, a total of 64,420 examinees passed the Career Service Examination – Pen and Paper Test held nationwide, representing a 16.88% passing rate.
The Civil Service Commission (CSC) announced that 54,478 examinees, constituting 16.42% of the total candidates, have successfully passed the CSE Professional Level. Furthermore, 9,942 individuals, accounting for 19.97% of the examinees, passed the Subprofessional Level.
Knowing the result, I was so happy that I passed. Out of the many people who took the exam nationwide, I am one of the few who PASSED. I was lucky to be one of them.
It's just that, Kashrut tells me that, Brenely said, that's just luck. I was just lucky that I passed the exam.
Sheesh!!!
Ay, wow!
She's just jealous of me. Hahaha! I don't care if she'll die of envy. Then, I learned that she too, applied for the next exam in the next year, 2024. She even buys a reviewer. Also, before her exam, Kashrut said to me that, in the church, they prayed for Brenely's success repeatedly that she will pass the exam.
As for me, I just stayed quiet and then told Kashrut, at least she bought a reviewer and she has the time to study. You see, when I took the exam, I couldn't have the time to review, and I was extremely sleep-deprived when I take the exam and during the exam, I was having the problem in fighting myself into not sleeping because the night before the exam, I have to finished baking something for my customer.
But when the results came out. She didn't pass. I actually laughed. Then I couldn't help but tell Kashrut that it served her right. Should she say that I got lucky when I passed. She even reviewed, and then they prayed for her. It turns out, she won't pass. Yes! I'm being bad here. But, it's her fault. I didn't even pray that she wouldn't pass.
Starting that. Well, It's just me. I started to dislike her attitude.
Even before, I already had a problem with her. Since our college days, actually we always go home together. I always wait for her, even if we come home very late at night. One more thing, I can't say no to her mother because her mom requested that we should go home together when she learned that the time we will be dismissed in the evening, the difference is just small. There's only 30 minutes.
In those times, her family didn't know that she had boyfriends, different exes and flings. All the neighbors of Emerald Mountain Village or our families that live there, saw her as a Maria Clara type. So innocent and pure. No one knows that she's a 'black lotus'.
Only I know.
One time, during those years, we always came late as we needed to walk a long way even if it's already 9 pm in the evening, but she wanted to stop by first at her sister's house because her boyfriend at that time was living just right beside her sister's home. I wanted to complain. I wanted to do something. But I just can't do anything because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I can't do anything anymore. That's why I just agree.
I didn't even say a thing when she requested that we should be going home using the other path which is climbing in our place because she said 'no' when I told her that we would take a ride down to our place because there's a path leading to our house that goes downhill, but she didn't want to because he said it was too dark. That it's scary. Scary my ass!! She's being dramatic again.
I asked her if she's serious about her relationship at that time with the man but she only said to me that she's very interested in him because he has money. Also, she had many flings at that time. I mean, she has many men that she entertains through online and if they talk to her with something. She always likes that.
As we keep going home late, I didn't know that she always uses me as the reason why we go home late while in fact, SHE is the reason for everything. I just go with the flow as SHE'S, MY COUSIN!!!! While me, I just want to go home directly and sleep as I have so much work, assignments and projects to do as an IT student.
I felt hurt, of course, and really felt disappointed. That time, I said to myself that I shouldn't be lenient to the likes of that kind of woman. SHE'S NOT WORTH IT!!!
Anyways, as I don't like her attitude and she began to be incompatible with the likes of me, I really distance myself from her.
Back to the story, during our drinking session with Mar's big sister, we were so loud. We don't know that we're actually bothering the neighbors next door because they kept complaining about us. Our bad. But within the night, the three started to play Dart games while I was only watching them. While playing,
"Lief, you should play with us!!" Brother Steward invited me, smiling. Then he reaches out his hand to me holding his pin darts.
I shake my head no, "No, I'm okay here. You know, I'm so short, so of course my hand couldn't reach that far." Then I laugh hard. 'Cause the three showered me with their teasing.
"Really? You can't be kidding us!!" Mar roasted me.
I just pout in my seat as my form of complaint. Then I stood, then went to the dart board and used my very best to reach it, but I just couldn't reach it as my hand can't reach the dart board.
They all laugh at me.
"Shit Lief you won't even reach the dart board!!" Mar teases me while the other two laugh.
I just turned to see them and made a face at them earning another round of laughing. After that, we all got drunk. Yohan suggested that we will get a coffee first inside the house to ease our dizziness a little bit. As usual, I am only complying with them as I am not actually drunk. I am still composed, and just watching them.
After drinking coffee, we talk, we laugh. I was very happy and content at that time.
As always, as we come the same direction. In making our way back home, I am with Yohan. I was touched because while we climbed the stairs, because the place where Mar's sister's house is located is in a very low place, my back faces him, his right in my back, unexpectedly he holds my waist to support me so I don't fall down.
I smile secretly because I am sure that he won't see me. But as if remembering something, he let go. I am kind off, disappointed. Yeah!! Super bad of me!
As we walked on the path upward, because there's a road going up into our own destination as they were only separated with one house, suddenly, Yohan, went near me and held my waist tightly.
"Huh!! You're actually really small." He laughed. He's crazy. I didn't know that, in that move of him, he checks my height. My head only reaches his shoulder.
"Hmp!!"
I can't reply to him as my mind is only thinking of the heat that his body gives me as his body, we're really close to my side.
"Remember what happened at Mommy's comfort room?"
For a while, I stay silent then I look at Yohan, telling this way and confirming that I remember. This is the third time he said that to me. I didn't expect that he would know. That he still remembers. It's been many years. I thought he had already forgotten it as he was drunk at that time.
To my surprise, he kissed me suddenly.
My heart melted.
I can't do anything.
I wanted it badly!!
"Let's do a quickie?" He invited me and pulled me to the back of the car that is parked in there.
I don't have any knowledge of sex. The last intimate that I did was way back. That one which happened in mommy's comfort room, with Yohan. I admit, at my age, as I was already 23, I am watching porn. Any kind of porn, but I don't actually have any experience with that.
As I said, this is my first in everything!!! But I do know what a quickie is. So, I kind of feel a little nervous. But my nervousness has that anticipating feeling.
I'm being bold here actually. With the knowledge of him having a longtime girlfriend only, as they were still in a relationship for many years, I know it's bad.
I let him pull me. Thank God the place is so dark.
Our kiss continues there. As the kiss deepens, he guides me into tasting his core. I didn't object. I just went with the flow because I wanted to try it and wanted to please him so I just did it. After bobbing my head for a while, as I know, my teeth sometimes touch his core and I kind of choke on it. I guessed he felt it, he stopped me and guided me into facing the car, my back, in front of him.
Accidentally, I slam my hands to support me in the car so he shushes me. Then, he starts unbuttoning my jeans and starts lowering it as he pushes me down so that my butt will face him further.
As he enters me, I am surprised that he enters my back entrance. It hurt, as I didn't expect it. As you know previously, this is my very first. . . IN EVERYTHING!!!
It really hurts, but I didn't protest. After five thrust, he stopped. I looked back at him questioningly. He didn't respond as he guided me to face him. Before I can say something, he kisses me deeply. After a while of kissing and he started to hold me down there again, my mind abruptly thought about his girlfriend. It's like cold water was splashed at me there and that woke me up. Interrupting my urges, my seeking feelings at him and my delusions.
So, even though my body and heart protest, I stop Yohan from taking more steps further.
"As you said, we can go all the way when our house is already built and is accessible to live. You can wait at that time." I said to him sincerely while my hands held his face side by side for him to stare at me directly to my eyes. Then I kissed him on the side of his mouth, full of emotion.
Yohan didn't say a thing and he just kissed me there again, lips to lips. But after a while, like previously, I stopped him again.
"I promise!!" I said again to him directly, con breaking our eye contact.
Thank God!! He listens to me. So, after calming ourselves there, we proceed to walk back to our home. While walking,
"Huh!! You really got me hooked today. Remember, you owe me." He said to me while holding my waist and hugging me sideways.
"Hmm. . "
When we reached the gate through my uncle's house, I said my goodbyes to him, strengthening my courage. I gave him a hug there. I'm sure I surprised him with my actions, but thankfully, he didn't say a thing.
But after a while of me just hugging him there, he joked, "Hahaha. Let's go to your house."
"Haha. No. I'm already content just the way it is." I said, which in the last part, I really say it to console myself. I don't care if it confused him.
After I let him go, he said his goodbye and left. I just stand where I am standing. My gaze never left him, it followed him, when I couldn't see his silhouette, I then left too slowly.
When I got home, I entered silently through the door. As I know, everyone within the house has already fallen asleep. Though when I entered the door through the shared room of mine and my cousin silently, my younger cousin was still awake. She greeted me when she felt that I was already home.
I guessed she saw that I was not alright when I got home so she asked me if I was okay the day before.
I am not okay. As usual, every time we're having an interaction between him and me, I always have the feeling of being lost. Every time we have an interaction, my state will never be the same after that night, though I recover after a day of feeling down. Me, feeling depressed.
I keep wanting more.
As I can't take it anymore, I blurted out everything. All the way from our very first interaction. Until today as well as my dissatisfaction with Brenely even if I know that Kashrut is close to Brenely. All of it.
"Big sister, seriously, how long is it?" Kashrut abruptly asks me if I looked at her unbelievably.
"Really?" I ask.
She just laughs.
"I don't know but I got choked." I said straightforwardly at her, causing her to laugh hard.
'Jeez. . . . this girl!!'
We didn't notice the time as we had a heart-to-heart talk. She even complains that she too, has many complaints with Brenely. As Kashrut too, Brenely uses her sometimes within her alibis when she wants to go out or she's going home late and many more. Also, according to her, she's a big flirt in disguise of a decent lady. I laugh hard because of that.
When I tell her that she's a woman who wants to have all the attention of boys. At that time, we know that she's seeing a man, younger than her , but she's still entertaining others. Causing me to laugh hard is the fact that he agrees with me.
Kashrut even told me that she feels Brenely can't accept that she's a pansexual. Because she had a secret girlfriend way back, and Brenely found out.
After two days before our 'drinking session' that night, Kashrut tells me that, according to Brenely, why didn't we invite Brenely and we didn't say to her that we were going to drink? Then maybe I only wanted to be the only babe in that drinking session. She also said we are not that very close anymore.
LIKE WHAT THE HECK!!!
In the first place, she's the reason why Mar and I didn't invite her as she always declines and said she already changed her lifestyle, that she's already passed the time when she drinks till midnight. Then that's what she would say. SHIT SHERLOCK!!!
My hatred for her intensified.
Because of what she said, and I hated her more because of that. Being childish on my part, I told my aunt when I am buying barbecues to her in every complaint that I have in Brenely. Because when I am waiting for my barbeque to be cooked, she told me that, according to them, and IT IS WHAT THEY ARE SEEING, they think that THAT woman is very nice.
She was surprised, of course. Then she responded, "So, that's how she is. In fact, her mother always proudly said to every person who buys in their store that her daughter is kind to other people."
Which I only laugh at. That's theirs. Huh! I don't care! As long as for me. They're all wrong!
I know. It's very bad to talk to someone behind their back. But, is she worth it? Noooo!!!! SHE"S NOT!!!! I don't care.
Months passed by again. Within these months, my long distant cousin, I guessed, said to uncle that she, together with her live-in partner, wanted to take a vacation. As they don't have any to go with, uncle Tyrus just says yes to them and tells them that they are welcome.
It's just that, the woman is pregnant already and her belly is big. After their one-week vacation, they're still in the house even if it's already 3 weeks. Then I learned that they're going to live there after all. I am shocked, so, in the face of Kashrut, I complain. It turns out that she too, has many complaints. But we don't have the right to say no. So, we just go with the flow. Within 2 months of being with them, I learned from Kashrut that that 2nd or 3rd cousin of ours, Candace, said that my cooking is not delicious and she's not getting used to the taste.
I was really offended. I can tolerate anything, except the fact that if anyone will complain about my cooking. Hell. They will surely offend me. I know uncle Tyrus and Kashrut love my cooking, even if they have complained sometimes, they didn't say as they know, that I am in-charge of cooking as they don't know how to cook. I always do the cooking, even if I am very tired because of my work.
I just stayed silent and didn't say a thing and Kashrut too, didn't say a thing as we saw that uncle really favors that girl.
After many days, and the fact that I already urged mother before that we're having our comfort room be done, I insist to my mother that I will be living in our house which is a little far away from uncle Tyrus's house, even if I'm going to live there alone. Because I can't take it anymore living with that woman and her partner too. In addition to my dissatisfaction living with them, I learned that the boy, Candace's live-in partner say's to Candace's face that I am pretty which makes that girl jealous of me. As I didn't want a conflict, I decided that I should be the one to go.
When I moved out of the house, I'm not really used to it as the house was not yet finished, we didn't even have water and a light. Though we get the windows done, when I move in. Thank God, I still have water due to the rain water that was slowly stored there. Though I got used to it right away because in fact, I'm a loner. I want to be alone sometimes. And the house gave me that convenience. I didn't fear living in that house alone and even though they said that they always say that people saw a ghost in there.
I lived there happily and contented. No problems, no worries. It's just the longing that I felt for him, Yohan.