After an hour, most of the students had dozed off, and everyone had earphones in their ears, me being the only exception.
My knees were a bit numb, as they burrowed in the seat before me, but it didn't matter as long as Adam suffered a bit. My dress was long enough to cover me up, even if someone would crawl on the floor between the seats in search for some panties.
I looked out of the window, happy to get away from that cursed house, feeling liberated, before the seat besides me sank.
Turning to the side, I saw Amanda sitting beside me. Looking at her in puzzlement, she questioned me unabashedly,
"How old are you?"
Urgh, I know in which direction this was going. Sighing, I answered her while sliding a bit more down to poke Adam through the backrest a tad harder.
"Thirty."
Amanda nodded; she played with her brunette middle-long hair that reached her cleavage.
"When I was eight years old, I was in love with a twenty-year-old. Do you think I should have confessed?"
Twelve-year age difference—what a coincidence.
"No."
Amanda looked at me, nodding, pleased with my answer.
"When my friend was twelve, she kissed a 24-year-old. Do you think it was wrong of the guy to give in to her advances?"
"Yes." My eyes turned to the window, looking outside. After waking up in Jude's arms, with his erection pressed against my thighs, maybe it wasn't so bad to hear these kinds of things. So I let myself be asked dumb and obvious questions instead of deducting points off her final PE score.
"I read in the newspaper about a teacher who was twenty-seven, being in a relationship with a fifteen-year-old. He was sentenced to prison when it came out. Do you think he deserved it?" Amanda spoke quietly but clearly enough for me to hear.
"Yes." A teacher entering a relationship with a student was not only taboo; it was simply wrong. During all this time, I had let Jude come far too close to me.
"My non-blood related uncle had confessed to my younger cousin; she is seventeen, and he is twenty-eight-"
"Twenty-nine." I corrected her.
Amanda halted for a moment before continuing to play with her hair.
"That's right, look at me. He is twenty-nine. Although she was nearly of age, and they are not blood-related, isn't his behavior sick?"
I nodded ever so slightly,
"It is."
Amanda's phone vibrated, and she stopped to read a message or whatever. However, the next moment she stood up and went back to her seat.
Raising my eyebrows at her sudden departure, I leaned back and looked out at the highway and the cars driving by.
I was now more inclined to flee than before boarding the bus, that for sure. Breaking my promise would be easier than staying and coming closer to two men who view me as a substitute, one of them my student and psycho-stepson, the other a violent and lunatic harasser.
I used my old phone to go on the internet; it was torturous because of the little display and buttons instead of a touchscreen, but I was accustomed to it, so I had the patience. Checking a good route to flee from the city we would arrive in, I thought of a new plan.
This time, I could buy a wig to make sure not to get punished harshly in case I was found. Leaning back, I wished I had music with me, which I had not.
Even so, I had my cat with me. Reaching in my bag, I petted it. My Baby was the most well-behaved animal in the world; aside from biting me a few times, the kitty let me stroke it.
Still, the abyss lingered in my mind, while the promise echoed through my ears, especially the way he had enticed me to make it.
His private body part was also an issue; my knees were numb from poking, but my thighs were numb from being poked.
I have to admit that it was my fault for hiding in his room; I should never have brought him, a kid, into the conflict of myself and his father. It should be me who covered him from his father, not the other way around.
Musing over the reason for me feeling safe in Jude's room, I could only come up with him not looking the part of an eighteen-year old. Am I thinking like a sex offender? Just because he looks like a full-grown man with a youthful face, but remarkable build, doesn't mean I could treat him like an adult!
The abyss was just so deep and dark, perfect for hiding, for sinking into it, letting blackness shallow one wholly.
However, why was he lying in the same bed as me, and that while embracing me intimately?!
Yes, I had to run away; Jude was probably more dangerous to me than his father ever could.
************
Thomas POV
Pleased with Lesly's answer, I still had to discipline the kid.
For the sole reason that he had misbehaved. Contrary to my tormentor and you, I don't feel pleasure doing so.
Instead, I put my wishes for the kid in each slash, hoping for him to break the circle yet again. While I whip the man that kid had grown into, I wonder if I had the same magic over him that Liliana had over me.
He could have defended himself long ago. Was it money that held him in place? But there was never really an overly expensive purchase that would let me be notified.
Was it because he knew that I was doing it for his own good? Was it clear to him that he had done something wrong that warranted punishment?
Have I ever asked myself these sorts of questions before today?
It seemed I hadn't. Before my wife's death, I was caged by the memory of her raping me, by hatred, shame, and disappointment in me and who I had grown to become.
Blinded so heavily, I wasn't even clear anymore over each deed I committed, just following the overpowering need to get myself relief, serving myself petty excuses.
Still, I hope that the kid can grow to be a better person than me.