In Jude's arms I heard my cat purring, calming me and making me drowsy, the heat of Jude's body seeping through my dress, while on my bare back his hands hadn't moved, giving me soothing warmth and security.
I was too tired to think about what to do, how to do it, and what not to do.
So, I let myself be lifted and brought to Jude's bed; I couldn't even muster up a bit of disgust for the teenage bed.
He cautiously placed me on his mattress, and when he got up, I drowsily looked at him. Ah yes, I had also drunken a little bit; maybe because of the alcohol I heard my Baby purring, lulling me into sleep.
Jude sat on the edge of the bed beside me, turned to me, and it was unfamiliar not to see the big panther resting on the floor with only his head propped on the mattress.
The abyss watched me from above, unreadable, but the darkness in his eyes danced unsettlingly. While blinking and trying to stay awake, I concentrated on his eyes, although the strong muscles on his body were in my view as well. Usually, it would unnerve me; now I thought he could surely win against his father and that I was safe here—unbecoming and weak thoughts, not fit for an adult and a teacher, but to hell with it, I'm going to be strong tomorrow again when I leave for the school trip.
My stepson's hands gripped my arms gently as he shifted my body to the side, showing my back to him.
Let him see, his father had already as well; it doesn't matter anymore.
Still fighting my sleepiness, I let myself be rolled to my stomach, Jude even put the pillow away so that I could lay comfortably with my head turned to the side. Funnily, we were in the same position on Saturday; only today it was me who was, although not injured, still in the spot being cared for or whatever he was doing right now.
Jude let his fingers slide over my scar, which was as big as a hand, but slimmer than a palm. Because I got it when I was so small, it had grown strangely with the rest of my body. I imagined that the wound was originally a lot smaller. Because his hot fingers were on my back, the rest of my body suddenly felt a lot colder in comparison. I wanted to put a blanket over me, but instead I lay there frozen and shivering either from my ripped open clothes or his touch.
I didn't hear Jude saying anything, so I just gave up and let myself fall into a deep sleep. In between dreaming, I think I heard Jude going outside after he put the much-needed blanket on me. But I was too tired to care.
*******
The next time I woke up, I found myself in Jude's arms, my bare back pressed against his exposed chest, the bulge poking my tights clearly telling me that hopefully he was just molesting me in his sleep like his father and not molesting me while fully conscious, also like his father.
I remember that I was laying on his bed without him, so how had it come to this?
In hindsight, it wasn't that clever to run away from my psycho husband right into the arms of my psycho stepson.
Slowly and cautiously fighting me out of Jude's arms, I managed to move myself to the edge of the bed. It was already the following day, but I had no idea what the time was.
Standing up, I didn't dare to turn around, not wanting to see the kid I had apparently been far too close to, for it to possibly be excused with just hiding or having just experienced something scary.
My eyes fell on the golden booklet on the floor—a good amount of blood on it. I hadn't taken a look back at Thomas to see how severely I had struck him.
But seeing the blood, I smiled; it should have hurt.
If I were to be punished for hitting him, the injury should better be worth it.
But looking at my hands, they were clean; had Jude wiped them? That was...very nice of him, but it scared me to have another Lennister doing something to me while I slept, even if it was just a simple action like that.
Directing my thoughts back to the matter at hand, I picked up the booklet, and slowly turned the key stuck in the lock, silently opening the door before peering in the corridor.
Seeing no one, I quietly closed the door again after stepping out, and ran to Thomas and my bedroom.
With a ripped open dress like that, I can do nothing like scurry out of the house randomly, and I couldn't put on one of Jude's clothes because if someone saw me and recognized them, I would have a bunch more problems than I already had.
I needed new clothes and to find my phone along with my bag, with my wallet and documents.... and the glittering bouncy balls.
Opening the bedroom door slowly, I nearly had my most serious fright in the last twenty-four hours; my heart stuttered when I saw the Nose maid standing in the bedroom, waiting for me.
I really can't take these kinds of surprises anymore.
But not only was she there instead of Thomas, who miraculously had not found me in his son's bedroom, which would have gotten both Jude and me surely killed; even my bag that I wanted to desperately find was at her feet, while on my nightstand was a new, even bigger bouquet of red flags (roses).
"Come in." The nose maid commanded me like it was her bedroom, as if she were the madam.
But everything was better than Thomas, so I obeyed, directly going backwards to the walk-in closet, to not show her my ripped open dress. However, it seemed Jude had also taken off my shoes because I was now barefoot, already looking improper anyway.
"I should tell you from master that these flowers are for you, and that he had gone on a business trip for a while."
Being inside the closet, I changed into a different dress; besides silk sleepwear that I couldn't wear on the school trip, there were only damn dresses in here.
"What's the time?"
"12 o'clock. But it is not what is important. I know that you weren't in your room last night and came disheveled back." She laughed happily.
"What will Master say if he hears that?"
"Don't know. Tell him." I don't care anymore; if I really stayed because of the promise I had made, then I have to be able to protect myself. There will be no future funny assaults, so if I stay, it would probably end with me killing my husband anyway.
Go and tell him whatever you want so that we can get it over with.