I tap my fingers on the keyboard of my laptop as I stare at the empty document in front of me. I'm supposed to be writing an argumentative paper as to how medicine can cause more harm than good, but I can't focus. I glance at the clock and see it's only four in the afternoon and I don't have hockey until five. After hockey I have my first shift at the campus library. Claire called me yesterday and said Marissa, the girl that is training me, was sick so she told me not to come in.I open another tab on my laptop and pull up the UMV gossip page. The post is still there with thousands of likes and hundreds of comments. I know I shouldn't go through them again but I can't help myself."Who is this new girl?"↪ "I don't know, but she's kinda hot."↪"I heard she's a freshman on the hockey team.Way to go Marcus.""I thought Marcus was a thing with Reya Jones?"↪ "Apparently not anymore, I think she's hotter thanwhoever this is."↪ "For sure. This new girl looks ugly."↪ "I heard that she's gay"Wait. What?I read that last comment again."I heard that she's gay"What the fuck. Marcus told me he wasn't going to tell anyone. I haven't even had time to process my sexuality. Oh my god, what are my parents going to think? They will disown me. My parents are catholic and I grew up as such if I came out as gay they would hate me. Calm down, Zora, you don't even know if you're actually gay. Maybe you just said that because you were actually scared to have sex with Marcus. I think to myself.I close my laptop and put it in my book bag to take with me to the library. I grab my hockey bag and head to the rink."Hey, Zora," Marissa says as she sits next to me in the locker room."Hey," I say back as I try to hide my confusion on why she's talking to me."Claire told me you got a job at the campus library. I work the night shift so I'll be the one training you tonight. I just wanted to introduce myself.""Oh, okay. I'm excited for the first day."Marissa chuckled. "You don't have to act excited, I know the campus library is a boring job. Claire takes that job so seriously and it's actually funny."I smile at her. Maybe I will finally make my first friend."Reya. My office now," Coach yells into the locker room. We all look up as Reya looks up with an "oh shit" look on her face."What's happening?" I say."I don't know, but Coach looks pissed," Marissa replies."I heard she failed her calculus test twice," Jade says to Marissa and I. I fight to hide the smile that is threatening to form on my lips. I knew she was going to fail the test, but getting a retake and failing that one too is too funny to me. I guess this is her karma."So what will happen?" I ask."Well our first scrimmage is in two days and I doubt she will be able to get it up by then she will be benched for that and probably until she gets it up," Jade says."All of that and she will probably have to see a tutor depending on how low her grade is."Damn. Being benched, that won't look good for her if she is fighting for team captain."Yeah. This semester is not going well for her. First you fuck her boyfriend and now she is probably getting benched for our first scrimmage," Genevieve says."I didn't have sex with Marcus," I say."Oh you didn't? So that's not you in the photo going upstairs with him?""That was me, I'll admit it, but I didn't have sex with him.""Oh, right. Is that because you're gay?""I'm not gay," I say as I feel my face getting red."Really Geni? That was a low blow even for you," Marissa says."Yeah what the fuck," Jade says."That was super shi— Oh my god. Zora, are you okay?" Rue starts but I'm not listening. I reach for my chest and lean over to try to catch my breath. It feels like an elephant is standing on my chest."Someone go get Coach!" Jade says as Marissa is already on her way."You're okay. Just breathe. In and out. Take a breath in and let it out slowly," Jade says with her hand on my back."What's going on?" Coach says coming into the locker room with Reya following close behind."I think she's having a panic attack," Jade says. "Keep doing that. In and out. It's okay.""What happened?" Coach says as everyone stays silent. "Someone needs to tell me what happened right now or we're spending the whole practice doing skating drills."The pressure on my chest starts to lift up and I'm not struggling to breathe as much anymore. I stand up and walk out of the locker room and outside. Fresh air. I need fresh air."Zora," Coach calls after me. "What the fuck happened?" I hear him say before I'm out the door. I keep trying to catch my breath while hunched over sitting on a bench."I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Genevieve looks at me. I turn to her as my breathing starts to return back to normal. She starts to walk closer to me and I put my hand out for her to stop. She stops walking and I am now breathing normally."Fuck you," I say as I get up from the bench and walk back inside. I see my teammates on the ice doing skating drills. I sit down and put my skates on to join them."You don't have to do the skating drills," Coach says."What kind of team captain would I be if I didn't?" I say as I stand up and join my teammates on the ice. I may be a freshman and I may not get picked for team captain but that won't stop me from trying.Coach stuck to his word and we did in fact do skating drills because no one would tell him what happened.After practice I rushed to take my skates off and went to the locker room to grab my bag. I'll change either when I get to the library or on the way."Hey, Zora. Glad to see you again. I'm heading out for the night, Marissa should be here any minute," Claire says to me. I just smile at her as I stand and wait for Marissa."How are you feeling? If you don't feel like you need to be here tonight you can go home," Marissa says walking to the front desk and I follow her."I'm fine. It's fine. I'd rather be here," I say, showing her a weak smile."Okay," she smiles back as she sits her things down. "Not much happens during the night so I bring my homework to work on it." She sits down and opens her laptop. I sit in the chair next to her and do the same. It's eight at night and my paper is due at midnight.After an hour of silence, I have three out of five pages written and Marissa is doodling on her iPad."Zora," she says as she sets her iPad down. "I'm gay."I look at her puzzled."I'm happy for you," I say, unsure of what else to say."Thank you, but I'm saying it to let you know it's okay if you are. It's okay to be gay and don't let Genevieve or anyone else tell you it's wrong.""I'm not gay, but thank you," I say and turn my attention back to my paper. I'm not gay, right? I mean I couldn't be. What happened with Marcus was just a fluke. I got nervous is all.Marissa gives me a sad smile and goes back to doodling.Eleven thirty hits and I'm convinced that I won't get to do anything on my first night until I see someone walk through the library doors and towards the front desk. Reya Jones."Hey, Reya. Something we can help you find?" Marissa says."Um... I, uh," she starts looking at the ground and then clears her throat. "I came to get information about a tutor.""I'm sorry, but we don't currently have a tu–" Marissa starts."I'm a tutor," I say. Marissa turns to me looking not surprised. Wait, did she know I was a tutor? Was she trying to cover for me after what happened in the locker room?"Yeah. Claire told me to ask for you when I came in. She said you are the only one who offers tutoring services that would work around my hockey schedule."A part of me is intrigued that she is the one asking me for help and the other part of me is nervous because I've never tutored anyone and I know her hockey career is on the line. But then again why should I care if she's failing calculus. She's the one who is continuing to make my life hell.I clear my throat. "Okay. Um, let's talk and figure out a schedule that works for both of us." I get up and walk to one of the empty study rooms and I hear her following close behind.I'm going to be tutoring Reya Jones. This day couldn't possibly get any worse.