I wake up to the smell of bacon cooking. I open my eyes and look to see that Reya is no longer in my bed. Where did she go? A part of me is sad hoping that she didn't leave without saying goodbye.I have to admit that last night was the best sleep I've gotten in a while, which is odd because I'm not used to someone sleeping in my bed. There were a few times when Reya would roll over towards me and try to cuddle me. I'm sure she's used to having someone in her bed. Probably Marcus. Each time she got close to me, my breathing quickened, and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. It made me nervous yet excited. I tried to stay as still as possible because I didn't want to wake her, but also, I received comfort from her embrace. I wonder if she remembers doing that.Reya looked so pretty and peaceful when she was sleeping. I studied features I never noticed before. She has freckles on her nose and cheeks. Not a lot but they are there and subtle. I wondered why I had never seen them before. Maybe she was wearing makeup each time I was around her, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention.I get up and walk out to the kitchen to see Liv sitting at our kitchen table and Reya standing at the stove cooking bacon. I look to Liv, who is eating a piece of toast, in confusion and she just shrugs and raises her eyebrows at me.Reya turns around and sees me. "Good morning.""Good morning," I say back, taking a seat next to Liv. "You didn't have to make breakfast.""Oh, it's no big deal.""It's really good. You should bring her over more often," Liv says as she takes a bite of bacon. Reya looks at me and I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. This is awkward. Liv thinks that Reya came over as a hook-up or that we're something more than friends. Actually, we're not even really friends. Either way, whatever Liv believes is far from the truth. I am Reya's tutor and teammate and that is all there is to it."Reya came over to study and we had wine coolers, so she spent the night," I say awkwardly."Oh," Liv says. Oh, is right.Reya clears her throat. "Where are the plates?""I can get them," I say probably a little too quickly. I walk to the cupboard and grab two plates. One for Reya and one for me. I do think it's a little weird that she made breakfast. That feels like something a partner would do, but also I don't know Reya very well, so maybe she makes breakfast for everyone who opens their home to her. I'm not complaining though because I get to eat something before my shift at the coffee shop."What were you guys studying for?" Liv asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence between us."Calculus," Reya replies. Liv just nods and returns to eating her food. The silence resumes and the sound of toast crunching and forks against plates are the only sounds that fill the room.I look at the time and see it's nine in the morning. I finish my breakfast and put my plate in the sink."Thank you for breakfast," I say to Reya. "I have to get ready for my shift at the coffee shop. Um, feel free to stay if you'd like." I don't really want her to stay at my apartment when I'm not here and I'm not sure how Liv feels about that, but I feel like it's polite to offer."I planned on washing the dishes and then heading out. I was going to go to the library and study more for calculus.""Sounds good," I say as I exit the kitchen and into my room. I grab a black long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. When I went to return my application to the coffee shop the manager said the only dress code was jeans and any kind of black top as long as it was work-appropriate. I walked into my bathroom and put my hair into a ponytail. I put on some mascara and filled in my eyebrows.I walk out into the kitchen and see that Reya is gone. She didn't say goodbye."Did Reya leave?" I ask Liv who is now in the living room working on a painting."Yes. She left a few minutes ago. What was up with that?" Liv replies."The breakfast or her spending the night?""Both.""We were drinking last night so I told her to stay because I didn't want her driving home. As for breakfast, I have no idea. I wonder if it was to make up for what happened the other day before practice.""What happened the other day?""Basically, Genevieve brought up the whole thing with Marcus and me again and then proceeded to tell the entire team that I was gay. I told her and some of my teammates that I wasn't gay."Liv gives me a look of confusion. "But I thought you were gay?"I think for a moment before replying. I'm not gay. I'm not. It was just an excuse to get out having sex with Marcus. I mean I would know if I was gay. Sure, I find girls attractive, but it's normal to compliment someone and like the way they look."No. I'm not. It was just an excuse to get out of having sex with Marcus."Liv puts down her paintbrush and palette as she cocks her head at me. "It's okay to be gay, Zora. It's more normalized and accepting these days. It's okay to be yourself.""But I'm not gay.""If you say so," Liv says as she picks her brush and palette back up.I arrive at the coffee shop at exactly 9:50 am. I walk in and see the manager I had seen when I turned in my application. I think her name was Mia."Hey, Zora. I'm Mia. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I am the manager who was here when you submitted your application," Mia says from behind the counter."Yes, I remember," I say as I walk toward the counter and around it so I'm behind the counter too. Mia explains the rules of the coffee shop to me and tells me that there is a reference sheet for drinks but that I will be training with someone to get a better idea of how things work."Sorry I'm late," a girl coming from the back of the coffee shop says to Mia. She turns to me. "I'm Jade and I'm training you."I look at Jade and notice she has blond hair to her shoulders with her ends dyed blue. She is wearing a black long-sleeved shirt like me, and I noticed she is wearing a pride bracelet. I wonder if she is gay."Nice to meet you. I'm Zora," I say. Mia excuses her and leaves to the back of the coffee shop and it's just Jade and me."So, Mia already explained the majority of what goes on around here. You can kind of shadow me today and next time I'll let you do some of the things so you can get the hang of it," Jade says."Sounds good," I say. "I like your bracelet," I say pointing to the pride bracelet on her right wrist."Thank you. It's to represent the pride flag. I'm a lesbian."I wonder how Jade can be so open with her sexuality. I wonder how she came to terms with it. I keep telling myself and everyone around me that I'm not gay, but am I trying to convince them or myself? It's complicated. I don't know how to sort through my feelings. I find myself attracted to Reya, but I'm not attracted to other girls. I hate that I find Reya attractive, but I can't help it. There's just something about her that catches my attention. But is my attraction for Reya just admiration? Do I just admire her and the way she looks? Do I wish I was her or do I wish I could be with her?"How did you know you were gay?" I ask."For a long time, I didn't. Sexuality is one of those things that you don't just figure out overnight. Growing up I had the assumption that I wasn't straight, but I wasn't ready to come to terms with that. I would go back and forth on whether or not I liked girls and it's not because being gay is a choice. It was because it's hard to process and understand the feelings you're feeling. I used to play it off that I just admired girls and then within the last year, I finally accepted I'm gay. I had tried being with men before but something about it never felt right."She sounds exactly like me. Maybe I am gay. I won't know until I allow myself to be open to exploring that part of me and not shutting down whenever the thought creeps into my head.4 pm hits before I know it and it's time to leave and head to hockey practice. I say my goodbyes to Mia and Jade and tell Jade I'll see her on Tuesday.I arrive at the rink around four-thirty and already see Reya in the locker room. She and I are the only ones in there. I put my bag on one of the benches and grab a pair of leggings. I'm already wearing a black shirt, so I just need to change my pants."Did you cook breakfast to make up for what happened with Genevieve?" I ask Reya.She puts her black leggings on and then looks up at me. "No. I did it to be nice. You let me stay at your place, so it was nice to make you breakfast. Genevieve was out of line for what she said. However, I still don't believe you and Marcus didn't hook up and I think you're in the wrong for that.""I don't know how you want me to prove that nothing happened.""I don't know, but I just don't believe you and it is what it is," Reya said as she slammed her locker and started to walk out of the locker room. I don't understand where this bitterness is coming from. Reya was being so nice last night, and this morning and I don't know what changed.Reya walks out of the locker room, and I follow holding my skates. None of the other teammates or Coach is here yet. I sit on the same bench as Reya but leave some space between us."Have you even talked to Marcus?" I ask."No. I don't trust him either. I don't know the truth and I don't think I ever will.""Reya, what reason do I have to lie?"I know Reya is thinking this over because it's true. What would I gain from lying? Nothing. If I really wanted to piss her off, I would be rubbing it in her face that I hooked up with Marcus."I suppose you have a point. So, if you didn't hook up, what was the reason?" Reya asks as she begins tying her skates.I look down at my own skates and hesitate. I'm not exactly sure what the reason is. I know I told Marcus that I was gay, but I'm not. At least I don't think I am. So, what is my reasoning?"I don't know.""I call bullshit. Now I know that's a lie. Any freshman would be jumping at the opportunity to hook up with Marcus Adams and for some reason, you didn't.""I didn't hook up with him beca–" I start before I am cut off by Coach's voice. Saved by the Coach."This conversation isn't over," Reya says as Coach approaches us."You guys are always my early birds. I'm glad you're both here and early too. I need to discuss something with you guys," Coach says. "So, Zora did well in our scrimmage playing right defense man. I want to try her out in that position. Not taking over, Reya, but filling in for breaks when you need them or you guys switching spots in some games. What do you think?"I look at Reya and I just know she is fuming. So much for starting to be on her good side.