After I called Michelle on Monday morning and told her about my fake fall, she gave me the next two days off work.
I knew I didn't need that much time, but I also didn't argue because I thought it would be a blessing for me in terms of sorting things out. Having said that, it's now only Tuesday morning and the boredom is completely mind numbing. There's only so much Netflix I can watch.
I was able to remove the bandaids from my feet this morning, and then I read some of the book Will gave me, but that's been about the highlight of my day so far. I already spent hours applying for more listings yesterday and checked over my emails a bunch of times for updates, but there's still no replies worth noting. I'm starting to worry that I might be stuck in Sarah's for weeks.
I feel like I'm going stir crazy, so I message Annie to tell her that I have the day off work and ask if we can meet for lunch instead of dinner. Luckily for me, she's both available and hungry.
It feels really nice to actually make a friend that I don't need to run by Jamie for approval. I'm almost afraid to get in touch with any of my old circle at this point, it's been a painful amount of time since I last reached out.
Not long after I hear back from Annie, I get a message from Will.
WILL: I hope you're not dumping me for my sister? I thought I would have made the better impression on you the other night!
Annie must have told him about our plans the second we made them.
IZZY: Oh y'know, I gotta keep my options open. You never know when you'll need an Irish connection, maybe she can explain why all shamrocks are clovers, but not all clovers are shamrocks?
WILL: Please don't encourage her Isobel! She's going to start claiming Daniel Day-Lewis as an uncle soon enough!
IZZY: I was thinking of suggesting that she march in the Parade next year actually...
WILL: Isobel…
IZZY: Wilbur…
WILL: Oh come on, you know that's not what Will is short for!
IZZY: I know, but now I also know how much it irritates you.
WILL: Enjoy your lunch Isobel x
IZZY: I'll be sure to... x
Okay, I'm flirting a little. Is that really bad? The second I heard from him I had memories of his voice filling my ears and I just couldn't help myself.
I guess I am leading him on a bit. I can't even begin think of getting into anything right now. I'm not even officially 'out' of things with Jamie.
Alright, that's it. That is absolutely the last time that I'll flirt with Will. Really.
♾️
I needed a coffee, badly. So I made my way down to the little stand near the hotel reception as quick as I could, avoiding as many people as possible before bumping into Jennifer on the way back to my room.
"Hi Miss, how have you been doing?," she asks.
She's so peppy, but still manages to give me her sad eyes somehow. Although I don't hate it from her for some reason.
"I'm doing better, thank you for asking. And call me Izzy, please. Do you ever take a day off?"
"Actually, I'm going to be off for the next two days so I did hope to catch you at some point today. I wanted to see if you'd be extending your stay past tonight?"
"Oh that's so sweet of you to check... um, honestly it's looking like I will be. I can't seem to find anywhere just yet. I can stay with my sister for awhile if things don't change by Friday though."
I feel awkward telling a total stranger plans that I haven't even mentioned to my sister yet, but Jennifer isn't just anybody I suppose.
"That's great uh…Izzy, come see me at the front desk anytime before four thirty today and I'll get you booked in okay?"
She waves me off as I head back to my room to get myself ready for lunch with Annie. I'm actually a little excited about it, I don't know if its the restlessness or the fact that it feels like I'm about to begin my life with all of the freedom that I want, but either way I'm in a good mood.
After a hot shower, I rummage through my clothing options to find I have just about nothing to wear. I grabbed one pair of jeans as I was leaving the apartment the other day, so they'll have to do. I pull out a red t-shirt that I picked up at the thrift store, it makes me look somewhat put together, but it's not what I'd normally wear at all. I'm sure Annie isn't expecting anything fancy considering I'm living out of a duffel bag right now.
I'm just glad that I brought my make up so I have a little something to help me feel like me. I take my time applying it, carefully layering it over my cheek and the cut on my temple.
I examine myself as I dust on the last bit of powder, impressed with the job I've done at covering up. If I didn't point it out, you might not even notice the bruising at all.
My hair could use a go over with a hair straightener, but who thinks of that when they're making a run for it before their boyfriend wakes up? So the hotel blow dryer and a loose braid will have to do.
As I'm getting dressed I notice my phone light up on the nightstand. It's Jamie. Maybe it's time I answer and tell him to stop calling. I could tell him it's over, and that I'll collect my stuff. Although he'd probably have it all destroyed by the time I got there.
The indecision to answer or not eventually ends when Jamies call does. I wait a minute or two for the voicemail notification to pop up and listen back.
"Hey Iz. I figured you wouldn't answer. I understand of course, but I just thought I should let you know that I'm aware that you're staying at The Marrion..."
My blood runs cold, how did he find out where I am?
"You should probably stop using the same passwords for everything online you know," he says, letting a soft chuckle run up his throat. I usually love to hear that sound from him, but right now it's like nails on a chalkboard.
"I checked your banking statement and saw the hotel details, and then I got straight into my car to come and see you… but then I realised what the hell I was doing.
You're there because you're running from me, from what I did. So I won't come Izzy, it's killing me, but I know I've got to prove something to you here. I need to show you that I have some sort of self control. I know what I did was unforgivable, but I'm begging you Izzy..."
I hear his voice break. I don't think I've ever heard him like this.
"This can't be it for us," he says through tears. "I can't lose you. I'm so sorry Iz... I'm sorry."
I listen to him tearfully apologise again before his message ends and I sit with it for awhile.
I wonder if I should move hotel? Or talk to Jennifer?
It's not like Jamie can actually get in here. I haven't used my own name, and I've specified no visitors. He'd have to get by security and staff to check every room just to find me. And then what? He wouldn't do anything here, he couldn't possibly dirty up Daddy's good name by getting caught in a public squabble.
No, I'll be alright here, it's just a few more days anyway. I'll change my passwords and stick to the plan. I can't let him spook me.
I play the message back a couple more times, he does really sound awful. I consider calling him back to make sure he's okay, but I decide to wait. I've rushed into a lot of things where Jamie is concerned, this can't be one of them.
♾️
Shooting down to reception, I book myself back in until Saturday morning with Jennifer. I feel a little uneasy about it after that phone call, but I don't bother her with the detail, and insist on paying full price this time too, as much as she argues.
Punching Annies address into my GPS, I get myself going. Jamie's message continues to plague my mind the whole way there. I know I'll need to face him soon. I have to tell him that he has nothing to prove to me, because its far too late for that. I have to tell him that we're over.
♾️
Annie's neighbourhood is cute. Her apartment block is only three storeys high, letting it mix in with the neighbouring houses well. There's plenty of trees and shrubbery around, and a nice little green area nearby with a playground in it. It looks like a great place to start a family. I wonder if she's single?
I ring up to her apartment, hearing the buzzing sound as she lets me in. Even the communal area inside is pretty. It's kept pristine, with a little map of directions to the side of the mail boxes. It's quite similar to our place actually. Jamies place now I guess.
When I get to the second floor, the door to her apartment is already open, with Will casually standing in the door way. I feel butterflies hit my stomach, is he waiting for me?
"Hey there," he says with a huge grin when he sees me, "you look really nice."
His eyes inspect me as I move toward him, I'm suddenly very self conscious, second guessing just about every choice I made this morning. His smile drops when he gets a closer look at my face, I know he has something to say.
"What is it?," I ask, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. Maybe I didn't do the great job I thought I did. The lighting at the hotel is pretty dim.
He tilts his head side to side like he's unsure how to word it.
"Its nothing," he says. "You look really pretty, it's just that I don't want you to think that you have to pack that stuff on for me to think that."
My heart sinks. I can't help but feel a little defeated, what was I meant to do? Walk around with it all on display so people could gawk at me?
"Right, well I'm sorry my boyfriend punched me I guess. Is Annie ready?"
I look passed him into the apartment, clearly annoyed. What a dumb thing for him to say.
He drops his head back, realising his attempt at a compliment has very clearly missed the mark.
"No, that's not at all what I meant," he insists, "I'm sorry. You look great. I should have stopped there."
"It's fine. So, Annie?"
"I'm in here!," she calls from one of the bedrooms. "Come on in, don't let my brother distract you. He was just on his way out. An hour ago!"
"I'm going!," Will yells to her before moving aside to let me in. He stops me as I step past him, lowering his voice.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an asshole. It honestly sounded better in my head. You look beautiful, with or without the make up."
It's hard to stay mad at him. It's not his fault that I had to put so much of this stuff on in the first place, or that he's a bit of an idiot.
"It's alright," I say, letting him off the hook, "let's forget it. How come you're here anyway? Making sure Annie doesn't win me over with her bagpipe talent?"
Will completely deadpans.
"You're thinking of Scotland Izzy."
"I…Oh."
I think the Irish jokes have officially ran their course.
"Why does this keep happening to me with you?"
Will chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.
"I don't think it's me thats the problem somehow," he says.
"Anyway, I was just here to drop off something I borrowed."
Annie can obviously hear us because she yells at us from the bedroom once again.
"Oh sure Will!," she says. "Conveniently, I've been asking you for my blender back for over a month now with no result, but the minute you find out Izzy is coming here you rush it over."
Now it's Wills turn to be embarassed.
A tiny smile ceeps across my face, I kinda hope that is why he's here.
"That's not true," he mumbles to me, but Annie can still hear him.
"Yes it is!," she yells.
"Are your walls made of paper Annie?"
Will sure is cute when he's blushing.
"Say bye to the pretty lady Will," Annie says as she steps out of her bedroom. Thankfully she's looking as casual as I am.
Will rolls his eyes, but picks up his keys all the same.
"I'll see you Friday Izzy," he says, giving me a quick look again. Those eyes could take my soul with him.
I watch him as he goes, now oblivious to Annies presence.
"You know he's obsessed with you right?," she says.
"Don't be silly," I scold as I join her in the kitchen. "He's been very kind to me. And we barely knew each other when I ran into him, so he really didn't need to be."
"Exactly," she says. "Doesn't that tell you something?"
I ignore her point entierly, avoiding any more of that talk.
"Your place is amazing Annie. It's like something out of a brochure. Is it just you here?"
Annie seems to have a knack for interiors. She has a beautiful colour scheme going on, with an array of blues, purples and oranges mixed together to give a funky kind of feel to her place. The entier apartment is spotless too, with a vanilla scent that hangs in the air. Theres a fruit bowl sitting on the counter, I have to squeeze one of the lemons just to make sure it's real, they're all so perfect. Blemish free and identical in size, it makes me wonder how long it look her to pick them out at the store.
"Yep," she says. "It's just me. I dont have time for a boyfriend if thats what you're asking. I'm glad you like it though. Come see the bedrooms."
Annie shows me to her spare room. She has it decorated a little different to her living area. It has that calm beach house kind of vibe, with muted greys and whites and little accents of blue from the accessories she has dotted around. Its a world away from the masculine real wood and glass décor of my own place. Jamie never wanted me to change it after I moved in.
"What do you think?," she asks, smiling excitedly while rolling back and forth on the balls of her feet.
"It's gorgeous, the whole place is."
I have a feeling that Annie really wanted me to see this room inparticular incase I decided to take her up on her previous offer, but I don't even bring it up.
She really is amazing, as is the room, but we don't really know each other that well yet, I could drive her crazy for all she knows. And the more I think about it, the more I believe that I'd be better off in my own space for awhile anyway.
"Should we go?," she asks. "I was thinking pizza? I know it's lunch but I have a craving."
Now she's speaking my language.
"That sounds like heaven."
♾️
As we arrive at the pizza parlour, I'm already salivating. I intend to make up for every meal I've skipped over these last few days.
I waste zero time placing my order, asking for a large margarita, while Annie opts for barbecue chicken.
We sip away at our water while we wait, chatting with ease.
"So Will mentioned that you guys are thinking of switching up the menu at Benny's?," I ask
"Yep. That's actually why we're here, I'm on a bit of a fact finding mission. We're thinking of extending the choices, pizza being one of them."
"At a bar and grill?"
"Humm... that's what Will said. Did he tell you to say that?"
"Absolutely not," I say with a laugh. "It's unusual, but not unheard of I suppose, it could be a big hit."
"Maybe, but you two are the only people I've mentioned it to and you both think it's odd."
"Is it definately the food that's the issue?"
"That's where the dip in profits is, granted the ingredients are costing a little more these days, but even when we allow for that, it's not adding up."
Annie thinks away to herself for a minute. "Maybe we should add a vegan option."
"Yes, that's a great idea," I agree. "Oh have you ever considered cocktails? I know you said food was the issue, but maybe that would be helpful? Not that I know much about the markup there."
"Cocktails? I never really thought about it. All
of our regulars in the evenings are men, unless we have an event on or something."
"It could be both. Women love a cocktail hour, or so my sister tells me anyway," I say. "You could have a ladies night once a week or something."
"Is that what your usual night out is?," Annie asks, "Cocktails?"
"Oh, I wouldn't use me as much of an example, I don't go out a lot."
Annie clicks her tongue while she considers my idea, it's obvious I'm the wrong person to advise her here.
"So, do you not go out much because you don't like to or...?"
I knew Annie was going to want to talk about Jamie at some point, so I take this as her way of working him into the conversation nice and early.
"No, it's not that," I tell her. "Jamie and I don't really have the same interests so it can be hard for us both to enjoy things together."
"And you never go out separately?"
"He does. It's just better when I don't bother," I say. "Easier."
"Easier how?"
I give her a lame shrug of my shoulders, I feel like talking about Jamie has consumed so much of my time lately that I simply don't have it in me right now. Today I just want to feel normal.
The waiter drops off our food with great timing, sitting my pizza down in front of me. I watch the cheese bubble, I am going to demolish this! Annie waits for him to leave us before continuing our chat, but thankfully she got the hint about the Jamie talk.
"So Will thinks you're hot shit," she says playfully.
I almost choke on my first bite. "Annie! You can't say that!"
"I can too."
That streak of mischief that she has isn't too disimilar from her brothers.
"He's nice, but we're just friends," I insist. "I'm not looking to move from one thing into another, he knows that. Not that I think he wants anything."
"Izzy, my brother does not have female 'friends' I can tell you that much... not any he hasn't seen the inside of anyway".
I cringe at her description.
"You make him sound like a playboy," I say, attempting to come across unbothered, but I do feel a streak of jealously run through me.
"No, he's not. He just doesn't really do girlfriends. Not since Kim anyway. You know about her right?"
I nod my head.
"Well ever since all of that, it's like he flipped a switch in his brain. He meets women, he sleeps with them and then they evaporate, never to be seen again. Wow, now that I say it, I guess that is kind of a cut and dry playboy description huh?"
"Hum... I guess I should have realised," I say quietly, thinking back on the day I met him and how he mentioned that I'd be 'screaming his name'.
"Why do you say that?," Annie quizzes.
"Just something he said to me once," I say, "it's better that I don't repeat it. As his sister I'm doing you a favour, trust me."
"Ugh, that guy," she says, shaking her head. "Honestly I could punch him sometimes. But hey, look at you now, a real life female friend of Will McDermott, maybe you've changed him."
Annie quirks an eyebrow my direction as she takes a bite of her pizza.
"Maybe," I shrug.
Or maybe this is some kind of ploy to make me one of those evaporating women that she mentioned.
I suddenly realise that I really don't know Will at all. That it's possible I've created a fantasy of who he is in my head just like I did with Jamie.
"Well, friend or not," she says, "you have him under your spell. Did you see him today? I've never seen him like that! You've done something to him, I can see it, he's hooked!"
"Oh stop! Really, we're just friends, and it's going to stay that way too."
"Okay," she says, placing her hands on the table, "but just humour me here. Hypothetically, if there was no awful break up, no boyfriend, no emotional stunting from his bitch ex-girlfriend. Would he still be just a friend then?"
I hold her gaze, both of us smile at her suggestion.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," she says, grinning so wide I can see her back teeth.
We continue to talk effortlessly the whole time we eat. Annie and I have a surprising amount in common considering how vastly different we are, and there's little to no awkwardness either. I really feel like I've met someone that gets me.
I wipe my face after I finish my food and notice Annie staring down at her empty plate.
"I think, you're right," she says with a sigh. "Pizza isn't right for Benny's. It would have to be better than this, and we don't have the kitchen space for better than this."
"Don't worry, you'll find what you need," I say in attempt to encourage her. "And I will happily eat everything you want to sample along the way."
She nods along with me enthusiastically. "You better get some sweat pants then, because I have big plans!"
My phone dings on the table with a message from Carol. She's checking in to ask if I've seen some of the order paperwork from May through June.
I realise then that I brought it home with me last week so that I could start a spreadsheet or system of some sort for us to begin to record it all on. The set up we currently have is archaic. There's literally a whole wall of filing cabinets in the office, filled to the brim with years worth of paperwork and orders.
All the stuff I took home is obviously still back in the apartment. I don't know how I'll explain not being able to bring it with me tomorrow. Carol must need it too because it's not like her to message me on a day off, especially a sick day.
I mull it over, maybe I should go and get it while Jamie is at work. It's a bit risky, but I can check to make sure he's gone by checking the alarm, I'd only be a few minutes…
I voice my dilemma to Annie, and she doesn't for a second think that I should have to abandon all of my things because of Jamie. She thinks I should do it.
"It's your home too Izzy," she says, "you should be able to get whatever you need whenever you want. It's not like you did anything wrong."
I know she's right. I shouldn't have to live out of a bag when Jamie is the one who messed it all up, but still, what if he comes back while I'm in there?
Annie gets a sense of how unsure I am and offeres to come with me. Actually she insists on it.
A companion to keep watch is exactly what I need, although I worry about how awkward it would be for her if we did run into Jamie.
Before I have time to really consider what I'm doing or change my mind, I agree to do it, checking in on the alarm app to make sure Jamie is actually gone.
We quickly pay the bill and leave.
My nerves are shot as we travel in Annie's car, but I tel myself that this is going to be easy. I just need to get in, get what I need and get out. Ten minutes, thats it.
It will be fine.