I was so happy when Felix left.
Happy was an understatement.
I was ecstatic.
There was now a purpose to our friendship.
Something to define and put a label on us.
Our friendship wasn't meaningless.
It now had a purpose.
A purpose that couldn't be achieved.
Well I didn't realise that on time, it was too late.
Even if I had the power to stop and prevent our friendship from falling, I still wouldn't. I was that pathetic and miserable
I'm just a girl with low self esteem whom everyone tags as thrash.
I was in my room when I was informed by a maid that my father had requested my presence.
Well she shouted at me after all to all the maids and everyone else apart from Felix, I was an abomination, a curse that deserves to be punished for killing her mum.
Am I guilty for committing this crime, I have no idea, after all I've always been tagged as a killer and I've been made to believe I'm a killer.
Killing someone I've never met shouldn't be tagged as a crime, or should it?
No idea.
When I got to my dad's office, I saw Celine, my evil stepmum, the witch in my life who was the source of all my problems seated calmly beside my father with her signature evil smirk on her face.
I knew this couldn't be good.
My father was too calm, way too calm.
What he saw next confirmed my thoughts and broke my heart.
Actually, shattered my heart.
I was dumbfounded and miserable.
"You are leaving tomorrow, your flight is by 7am go to your room and pack". He said.
I was distraught.
I felt so pathetic I couldn't stand up to him even though I wanted to and tried. I just wasn't good enough and I never will.
"I can't leave". I responded
"I promised Felix I wouldn't leave him"
"What a nuisance" my stepmum said. I felt my heart drop. I knew she was about to do something and she did.
I received a harsh slap to my face right after that "stop being pathetic" she said
"At least let me tell Felix, he needs to know" i replied with tears streaming down my eyes.
"Know what" My father responded angrily.
"Know that you are deranged"
"Know that you talk to yourself"
"Know that you are a disgrace"
"Know that you are a killer"
"Know that you are a source of pain and sorrow"
"I'm tired of you living here and thinking that word about your madness will get out" he barked.
"You are leaving tomorrow and it's final. You have no say in this".
"Now go to your room and prepare for tomorrow".
I couldn't do anything when we got to my room, I had no way of communicating with Felix.
Now I had to leave just a few hours after I made a promise to never leave him.
What will he think of me?
True to my father's words, I left the next day, I moved away from England, a place I had called home even though I wasn't treated right.
My stepmum was so happy
"We wouldn't have to spend more money on you and we'll be able to breathe fresh air your presence makes the air polluted" she said.
It's not like money is spent on me anyways.
I only wore good clothes to school in order to keep up with my father's image after all, i was told i was unworthy of the clothes and they were too pure for me.
It was like she heard my thoughts because her next words were "You have no idea how much we pay the media to stop them from intruding into your worthless life you ungrateful thing"
"I hope you are thought how to respect and obey wherever you go. Then I'll be so happy when you are back".
I became scared it sounded like I was going for therapy, I mean that's how my father made it sound.
Am I going to be killed or punished for the rest of my life?
Will my life be hell there?
Suddenly I didn't want to leave anymore.
I was scared.
So scared for my life.
I knew I would never live anymore, I would just be a shell of myself.
A shell that would just exist without living.
I hated my life and I still hate it.
I hate how pathetic I've always been.
How some people look at me with pity while others look with hatred in their eyes.
I just wanted to be normal, live like everyone and be happy.
Go to school without being called daddy's princess when in reality, i was nothing like that.
I was more of daddy's regret.
My whole life was suffering.
Suffering from physical, mental and psychological abuse inflicted by my father, stepmum and even the maids.
I was always laughing stock.
I don't want to be a laughing stock anymore.
But I have no choice and no hope.
I don't write my life and dictate my choices, my father does.