I'm back.
After 5 long years I came back.
My father and stepmum were not happy about my return.
But I came back to England.
I was really scared and nervous,
What would Felix think?
Will he welcome me back with open arms?
Would he still give our me and give our friendship a chance?
I kept on asking myself different questions with different scenarios playing in my head.
But most importantly, I asked myself
Had he moved on?
Would he hate me?
And I got my answer.
I went over to Felix house and I was devastated to know that Felix and his family had went abroad.
How did I know, you might ask.
I was in my room two days after my return, contemplating whether to visit Felix or not when Celine graciously walked into my room with the evil smirk I know too well.
She looked surprisingly happy for a person living with my father.
She came to taunt me and rub the fact that I was unwanted in my father's house in my face with her evil smile.
I was getting psychologically exhausted and it hadn't even been two days.
I knew this from the start.
I wasn't expecting them to welcome me with open arms here.
Her next words shocked me to the core and I felt shattered.
She said "oh don't think your lover boy will be here for you. He moved abroad with his family"
"I'm sure you wouldn't believe me. You don't need to because you'll see for yourself. I'll tell my driver to take you to his house tomorrow morning"
"Well, his old house and now you'll finally see that no one wants you"
"I don't know what he saw in you anyways. You are just an extra baggage, an abomination and a curse"
"You should have been named bad omen so people would know how to stay far away from you"
"I'm glad he left before you could kill anyone else"
"MURDERER."
"Oh you know that nanny you loved, the one who took you on daily walks and would allow you to see Felix and also disobey me, i made sure she was killed".
"You don't deserve to be happy and you caused her death anyways. If you weren't close to her or made sure she wasn't involved in our lives, she would still be alive"
"Oh and do not forget there are lots of lives that could be lost if you don't keep your distance from people"
"Bye dearest daughter make sure to have a good night and dream well"
"If you know what's best for those good for nothing people you call friends, ignore them or you might cause their untimely death"
" Who knows they might accidentally have an car accident or get poisoned"
" The ball is in your court"
"Goodnight"
I was speechless I had never liked the nanny what does she mean.
I got scared and most importantly, I felt guilty.
The nanny was innocent.
She even hated me because she also believed I was an abomination.
True to Celine words, the driver took me to Felix's old house. Apparently they had moved away a year after I had left England.
Would we still meet in future? I asked myself.
Would people be killed because they were friends with me or even thought of talking to me.
I might as well be alone forever.
Knowing Celine, she would surely think of a way to throw me out of this house.
I could ask if I could get a job.
Would she allow me?
Will my colleagues be killed because they got too close to me?
Would I even be allowed to leave the house?
Could I ever be free? I questioned.
I really do not know but after Celine came into my room, I couldn't sleep that night or the night after. I kept on tossing and turning, thinking about a solution.
For Celine to come into my room and tell me about the crime she committed in my own name and the blood I indirectly had in my own hands, I was alone.
Battling alone in my wicked world
Who was I kidding I couldn't even battle Celine talk less of my father.
I had to think of a solution.
I needed an idea.
An idea that would save me and the people around me.
And I got one.
Work.
I had to think of a way to allow them to give me the permission to work.
A way for them to support the idea of me having a job.
Anything to leave this house.
I was starting to feel suffocated.
I knew my life was in danger.
Celine wouldn't hesitate to make my life a living hell.
Well she already has but she could make if much more harder especially now that I really do not know who and what she has become.
She had my father's support.
I was alone.
All alone to suffer for the crimes I had no control over.
Could it even be called a crime?
The man who was meant to love and protect me from the world since I was born threw me into the fire of cruelty himself.
My reflection in the mirror tells me I can't have anyone else to love me.
Am I crazy?
I don't know.
All I know is I just exist and my soul begs to be set free.