Everything was wrong, blood coated my skin, hot and sticky.

My body was screaming at me to move, but I couldn't move, frozen to the ground my

legs had just given up.

Howls of anguish faded in and out of my numb mind, as I cradled mommas head in my

lap, breath leaving her lips in small shallow pants.

"Go" she whispered, blood running down her lips.

"No, momma I can't.... I can't just leave you here" a soft sob exiting my lips "You

must my heart" she paused , trying to pull in more air into her fluid filled

lungs "I'm not long for this world, live for me Essie, please" she begged,

lifting her hand to my face, giving me a soft caress.

My body shook with sobs as I watch the woman who gave me life pulled in her last

breath, and went limp.

Wolves raged in battle around us, I could see father , I could see the moment he felt

momma die.

His teeth sinking into the exposed throat of a Rogue, blood pouring from its mortal

wound.

His howl was the most intense and painful thing I've ever heard, it would forever

haunt my nightmares.

And it did for the next 13 years.

Growing up I always wanted to run, to get away, but wolves are pack animals, so I was

doomed to spend my whole life under the werewolves who govern our territory.

I was to be the next Beta..

thedaughter of a true warrior, so someday I would follow in his footsteps.

my days consist of my college courses, then training, I couldn't stand it, I was

going to be 25 this year, and this was the year I get my wolf and once I had

her I would be free.

I would run and never look back.

 I've been babysitting for Luna for a few years now, and saving money for my plans. I

have over 4000$ saved in a lock box under my bed.

 Everything is planned, once I have my first

shift I'll run and run till I get over the borders of our pack territory, once

I'm over I'll reject the pack and be free, find the closest human town and get

a simple job, save up and go to art school.

 That's my real dream but no one understands or

will listen, it's always about what my father and the Alpha have planned for

me.

Mother would understand if she was still here, after she died I was told art could

never be my path, if she had lived my father would never have cared what I did

with my life since she was pregnant with his son, my little brother, who would

have been the next Beta and I would have been at art school.

Sighing I flopped down onto my bed, burrowing my nose in a new how-to-draw book my

friend melody had smuggled me during a lecture this morning.

It was amazing, the techniques they demonstrate I would have never thought to use.

Relaxing into my pillow I began to drift off when I heard the front door open and close

loudly telling me Dad was home.

Quickly I got up, gathering my  books as fast as I possibly could, then started shoving them into the secret hiding hole I made

by pulling up one of the hardwood planks covering my bedroom floor under my

bed.

Hearing my dad's heavy boots coming up the stairs I began to struggle.

Panic pooling in my gut, if he caught me with anything that has to do with art I'm

pretty sure he was burning it.

Sweat was dripping down my face when my door knob started to turn just as the board

slid back into place.

Dad never knocked, and I don't think he ever would if I'm honest with myself, he

came right in so I started doing pushups on the circle rug in the center of my

bedroom.

"Hey, dad" I cheerily greeted him wiping the sweat on my brow with the back of

my hand.

"Hey," dad replied his eyebrows ascending into his hairline.

"What yah doing kid?" he questioned.

"Oh just getting some reps in before bed, it helps me sleep" which wasn't a

lie, honestly I loved working out the way my muscles stretch over bone it was a

soothing pass time.

"Well alright then, I guess I'll call you down when dinners here" dad replied

before heading out of my room.

I let out a sigh of relief and slowly stood from my floor, turning back around

and going to retrieve my sketchbook.

No interest in really finishing my workout.

My hands shook while I flipped through to where I left off on my drawing.

I'm not afraid of my father, I just know that if he finds out I won't hesitate to

tell him what I want out of life, but even though he can be strict sometimes, I

know he loves me very much, but he would never accept me as an artist.

The door opened again, my eyes flicked up to see my father come in, his shoulders

tense and his lips pursed.

"What is that?" He growled and I frowned as he pulled the sketchbook out of my

hand.

The look of disappointment on his face made my stomach go sour.

"Dad, I can explain" I began, but he raised his hand to stop me.

"Essie don't even speak, this trash is not welcome in my home!" he screamed the

last word,

"I don't understand why you can't just accept what you are" the look of

contempt in his eyes made me shrink back.

Tears threatening to fall, "Please dad this is all I want" I choked out,

trying to keep calm.

His jaw set, as he looked down upon me like a child. "You are a disappointment

and you know it"

This was the first time he had spoken to me this harshly, and I could feel myself

breaking under his words.

"Dad!" I cried out as he ripped my sketchbook in half destroying years of work.

"I wish your mother hadn't left me, then I would have a competent child, a worthy

child, a son! not a worthless airhead daughter who would rather play with

crayons than run a pack!"  Dad

bellowed at me, throwing the pieces of ripped paper against the wall.

"You will never amount to anything, you're too lazy! too obsessed with this art bullshit

to care about your responsibilities! You're useless! I never should have

trusted someone who doesn't appreciate what they have been given!" He

finished his rant, shoving his finger in my face angrily.

He slammed the door as he left locking it behind him.

His words left me feeling empty as I picked up the torn pages of my book clutching

them to my chest, tears fell silently down my face.

All I could do was crawl over to my bed, and climbed up curling into a tight ball

nestling the the broken pages to my breast tightly, trying to put it back

together somehow.

Though shortly after laying down sleep took hold of me, sending me into dreamless

darkness.

Very suddenly I was pulled from sleep by a stabbing pain in my spine and chest, it

was spreading through my body,

Making me unable to move and unable to breathe.

Quietly I thrashed in the blankets trying desperately to find any kind of comfort,

anything to ease my suffering.

The sharp pain in my back increased tenfold as my legs twitched and jerked, my eyes

screwed shut in agony.

My body was soaked in sweat.

Then I began shaking uncontrollably, I was scared, was I dying?

"Essie breathe" a calm voice spoke,

"who's there?" I cried.

That's when the first bone broke, a

blood-curdling scream echoed in my room.

The pain increased tenfold, then vanished, I stood on my bed on all fours.

Confusion clouding my thoughts, what just happened?

"You had your first shift" spoke the same voice again.

"What?" I replied but my lips didn't move, what the hell was going on?

"I am Nissa your wolf" she admitted, but that couldn't be right my first

shift wouldn't be for another month.

"How-why?" I asked, shock still having a hold on my mind.

"Not really sure I've heard of some she-wolves shifting early but mostly alpha

wolves"

She said and I could feel her shrug, slowly I started to come around, wondering

what I looked like.

"Why don't you take a look?" Nissa said with a sense of pride.

But when I tried to move my body I fell forward hitting my muzzle on my nightstand,

which caused Nissa to burst into laughter,

"Hey give me a second I'm new to this" I whined licking my nose with my now

oddly long tongue.

It took me a few tries but after a minute or two I was moving around like I had

been a wolf my whole life, I stepped up to my closet that doubles as my mirror

and gasped.

There I was. light gold fur, white-tipped ears, and muzzle with a white belly and

white paws, but that wasn't even the most surprising thing about Nissa she was

massive, no wonder it took me so long to get a hold of walking I have to be

about 5 feet tall that's a foot shorter then alpha pascal.

My eyes remained the same mossy green same as my mother's,

"Now that you can walk, can we run? please please please!?" Nissa begged me,

she sounded so excited how could I tell her no, the only problem is how do I

get out of the house, my doors locked from the outside and my window is way too

small.

"Oh, I have an idea" Nissa whispered mischief heavy in her tone,

"What?" I replied, she shifted her sight to my laundry shoot that led to the basement.

"Oh hell no!" I exclaimed,

"Oh yes!" Nissa giggled.

Goddess I felt so silly. Nissa had convinced me to shimmy my large self down the laundry shoot and now, I'm stuck.

"Okay smart wolf, what the hell do we do now?" I remarked with a growl.

Yet I waited and Nissa was silent.

"Hello? anyone in there?" I teased.

"Yes now hush Im thinking" she snapped, great I thought I smelled something burning.

"You know I can hear you right" Nissa growled, she didn't sound pleased, which made me giggle.

"We need to shift back" she finally managed to say.

"Wait what? that's gonna hurt!"

I shrieked trying to squirm away but was stuck firmly in my spot.

"Just trust me, and close your eyes" she instructed, I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth in anticipation of the excruciating pain.

My body tensed and my heart pounded faster in fear.

I waited but all I felt was a quick stabbing, kinda like that random pain you get under your boob sometimes, but that was it then I was falling.

Lucky for us dad had remembered to put the laundry in our shoot, so we landed with a sold thump onto a pile of sheets and pillowcases.

"We did it!" I giggled.

"No. I did it" Nissa grumbled.

"Fine whatever, we made it out" I said

"Now what" I asked , and started to shiver I realized I was butt ass naked, I let out a a squeak, Nissa just laughed.

"Give me a second" Nissa sighed

And again the sharp under boob like pain, then I was on all fours.

All my senses were stronger I could see the smallest speck of dirt on the ground and I could smell dad's dinner up the steps, fish and chips. my hearing was amazing I could hear the river that flowed out the back of our house, the grass gently swaying in the wind, dad getting up to pee, oh shit dad was getting up, what do I do??

"We're fine just go he won't hear us go out the doors down here" Nissa made a good point, so I turned to the big sliding glass doors, nudging the lock with my head, listening for the soft click.

I slid the door open and then I was gone.

Then I felt the wind on my fur as I leapt over the bubbling stream, then I was gone into the forest.

My wolf was quick darting, and dodging the trees, it was breathtaking.

The feeling of the earth beneath my paws the smell of the warm summer air on the breeze.

That's when I did the single most dumbest thing in the world, I halted at the edge of a small lake, the moon shining off it's dark surface, that's when I threw my head back and let out a deafening howl that echoed off the trees amplifying the sound.

"What are you doing!!" Nissa shouted at me, as howls erupted from the forest around us.

Great now I'm in trouble.

Racing back as fast as I can the way I came was our only option, if anyone caught me I was dead meat.

Not only would dad be absolutely pissed I left but she-wolves aren't allowed to travel the forest alone, even Betas, I was freaking out I know what Alpha does to people who break his rules, it was not something I wanted.

The sound of padding came closer and closer Nissa was screaming in my head to keep going, when a familiar voice ran through my mind.

"STOP!" Alpha pascal screamed through the mind link, which caused my body to shut down and crash into the closest tree.

Pain shivered through me, I gave myself a good shake and laid down in submission as the other pack members on patrol joined him.

"What is going on" Alpha barked.

I shrunk back and whined.

"No I want an answer" he growled "NOW!".

"I wanted to run" it was Nissa who answered.

"Who are you?" Alpha sighed.

"I can answer that Alpha" shit, dad.

"Beta Ryan" Alpha nodded to him as he stepped forward.

"It's my daughter" he growled.

"Well that's strange, she not supposed to shift for a few more weeks" Alpha and father began talking between themselves, deciding what to do with me.

"Well Essie seeing as you aren't a Rogue" Alpha laughed,

"I think I can let you off the hook" I stood and started jumping around doing happy steps. "I mean you will be Beta soon enough" he said happily, but that one sentence made all the joy exit my body.

After dismissing us father and I began our walk home, it was mostly silent till fathers wolf Rocky spoke to me.

"Essie I think you may be bigger then me" he chuckled in his deep gravely voice.

"I think she may be" father agreed laughing with him, I wasn't laughing though and I couldn't laugh with him, I felt empty when I stood next to him now, and it scared me.

Once we reached home I didn't even have the strength to shift back I just crawled into bed and passed out.

"Goodnight Nissa" I yawned.

"Night" Nissa said yawning herself.

Then I was out.