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Chapter 5 - I'm In Control Now

I slammed the door shut, locking out the world and letting the silence suck me in. My heart was racing, and I could still feel the burn of rejection in my chest. Tears spilled from my eyes before I could stop them, streaming down my face in hot, angry waves. Kade had rejected me. He had rejected Selena, and now I was stuck in this twisted mess, feeling every painful emotion like it was my own.

I stumbled to the mirror, my reflection staring back at me with wide, tear-streaked eyes. I was supposed to be stronger than this, supposed to outsmart the plot I had written. But being in Selena's body made it all so real. It hurt in ways I hadn't expected. Why did I give Selena this fate?

The wolf inside me, Nixi, stirred. "Weak," she growled from the depths of my mind. "Pathetic. You let him walk away."

I swallowed hard, gripping the edge of the dresser to steady myself. "It's not our fault, Nixi. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"We don't need excuses." She yelled, causing an instant headache. I clutched my head, my breathing pattern faltering. "We need Kade. And Arianna? She's the one standing in our way." she added, snarling in my mind.

My pulse quickened, and a strange chill crawled down my spine. I knew where this was going. The story I'd written was trying to assert itself, pushing me toward an inevitable course of action. But I wasn't Selena. I had to fight it because it's one of the things that gets Selena killed later in the story.

"Poison that wretched princess," Nixi hissed, her voice like a dark whisper. "She's a threat. She'll take Kade from us."

I shook my head violently, backing away from the mirror. "No. I'm not doing this. I'm not Selena, and I'm not going to follow the plot. I'm in control."

"Did you hit your head?" She asked, I could tell at this point that she couldn't read my thoughts just like the moon goddess. "You think this is a joke? We must kill her."

The urge to do her bidding was suffocating, crawling through my veins. She was relentless, and it was hurting, driving me crazy. I could almost see myself, sneaking into Arianna's quarters, slipping poison into her drink. It would be easy. Clean. Final.

"No!" I shouted, yanking open my bedside drawer and grabbing the rope inside. I wasn't going to let the story win. Not now, not ever. Without hesitating, I tied my wrists to the bedposts, the rough fibers biting into my skin as I secured myself to the frame. I lay back, breathing hard, staring at the ceiling. If I hadn't, I was sure she would have dragged me to poison Arianna, just like how she made me kiss Kade.

"Now shut up and listen to me, Nixi," I retorted, trying to gain the upper hand in this useless argument. "We don't need Kade. We don't need anyone. I'm in control now, not you. And we're not going to kill Arianna."

"You're lying," Nixi growled, her presence throbbing inside me. "Without Kade, we're nothing. We need him to survive. You know it. I know it."

I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing myself to focus. "What if there's a second chance? The Moon Goddess might give us another mate, but we have to let go of Kade first. Maybe it's a test. Trust me, Nixi. Why would she give us our best friend and take him away from us of it's not some test, huh? Be wise."

There was a long, tense silence. I could feel Nixi retreating, slowly yielding to my logic, though her presence was still there.

"You best be right,"she said in contemplative tone. "I don't know why your thoughts are blank to me but if I find out that you're playing me, you'll be sorry." 

I exhaled in relief. "I have a plan, but I need you to trust me and whatever happens in the next few weeks, play dead. I will call you when I need you, okay?"

"Fine." She replied and disappeared.

For now, I was in control. I untied the ropes and let them fall to the floor, rubbing my wrists as I stood up. The temptation to follow the original storyline had passed, but there was still a little fear in me. I had to be careful. Kade's rejection was just the beginning, and if I didn't outthink this entire world, I was doomed.

A knock at the door startled me. I turned just as it opened to reveal Beta Jeffrey, standing in the doorway, concern etched into his features.

"I heard what happened," he said softly. "Kade... I'm sorry, Selena. I know how close you two were."

I swallowed, forcing a smile. "It's fine. Really."

But Jeffrey's eyes didn't leave mine, searching for something. "I don't think it is. Kade was under pressure—Arianna's the Olive Pack Alpha's daughter. Their marriage was arranged to strengthen the alliance between the packs."

I fought back the pang of anger that surged in my chest. Of course. An alliance. It was all political. "I understand, Jeffrey," I said, keeping my voice steady. "It's what's best for the pack."

Jeffrey's looked at me, confused, clearly expecting a more emotional response. "Are you sure? I thought—"

"I'm fine," I interrupted, managing a small laugh. "A stupid mating bond won't ruin years of friendship. Kade and I will be okay. I'll be okay."

He blinked, clearly taken aback by my nonchalance. I stepped forward and hugged him, trying to reassure him that everything was under control, even though I knew it was far from it. "Thank you for checking on me, but really, I'm good."

"Well," Jeffrey said, stepping back awkwardly, "if you need a distraction, I was thinking maybe we could take a break from pack duties. There's not much going on right now."

I hesitated, the urge to stay hidden in my room strong, but I couldn't risk drawing more attention to myself by acting suspicious. I had to play the part. "That sounds like a good idea."

As we stepped out into the hallway, I suddenly froze. A nagging feeling tugged at me, reminding me of something. If I had followed the original plot—the one where Selena poisoned Arianna—I would have been heading in the opposite direction right now, straight into the heart of the pack's quarters where Arianna would be.

I glanced down the other end of the hall, my heart skipping a beat. "Jeffrey, can you give me a second? I just need to check something."

Jeffrey raised a brow but nodded. "Sure, I'll wait here."

I hurried down the opposite hallway, my pulse quickening as I approached the far corner. This was the moment—the part of the story where I was supposed to overhear Arianna plotting. If things had changed because I had refrained from poisoning Arianna, then maybe... just maybe the storyline had changed too.

But as I rounded the corner, my blood ran cold.

There was Arianna, standing with two influential pack members, her face twisted into an expression of malice. Her voice was low but clear as she spoke to them.

"Selena can't be trusted," Arianna said, her eyes glinting with something dark. "She's dangerous, and we can't afford to take any chances. You need to handle her. Do whatever it takes to rid this pack off her."

The two men nodded in agreement, grinding their teeth as they turned to leave.

My heart pounded in my chest. I backed away slowly, barely able to breathe. It was all happening, just as I had written it. No matter how hard I tried to change the story, it seemed to pull me back in, forcing the same outcomes, the same dangers.

I turned and rushed back to Jeffrey, trying to hide the fear that gripped me.

"Everything okay?" he asked, noticing the look on my face.

I forced a smile. "Yeah. Let's go."

But inside, I was anything but calm. Arianna wanted me gone, and the pack was listening. I didn't know how much longer I could outrun this story.