Astonished, I stand at the open door of the coffee shop, the steady stream of people passing by, each person wrapped in their own world, with their own story. I've changed so much since Gabe. And yet, here I am. Totally unaware that the universe was about to send my past crashing into my present when we arrived here.
I've come a long way from the broken woman who once clung to a love I thought I couldn't live without. Now, I'm whole. Stronger. More confident in who I am and what I want from life. I've built my own career, one step at a time, learning to trust my instincts, learning to trust myself.
Yet, as gray orbs locked into my brown eyes... nothing I have learned, matters.
"Megara." His voice- is it possible that your heart can stagger?
He's different. There's something quieter in him now, a stillness that wasn't there before. He's not the same man who once broke my heart. Twice...but who's counting, right?
I'm not the same woman I was back then either. "Gabe," I manage, my voice steady, though my stomach churns with a thousand emotions I thought I had buried. "I didn't expect to see you."
Unaware, my both sisters had been watching us, my twin even tugged on my sleeve to get my attention, and only when I said his name, did they register who he was. They left us alone and went inside to make the order.
He offers a tight smile, one that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He seems as hesitant as I feel and probably still reeling from the shock of seeing me just as I was him. There's a moment of awkwardness, both of us unsure of how to approach this reunion when he stiffly gets to his feet and I take the few footsteps to his tiny table. Should we fall into old patterns and hug? Or kiss the cheek? Should we pretend nothing has changed?
"I-" He hesitates. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
I nod, searching for the right words but the bearded version of him has me at a loss for words. Gabe, the man who shaved twice a day sometimes- at least when we were married anyway. This scruffy look has to be months in the making- growing. But honestly, it could be two weeks for all I know because I never actually had the experience with him or anyone. Not even Dad. "A few years, actually."
His gaze drops for a second, and when he looks back up, there's a flicker of something in his eyes but I cannot read him like before. He pulls his hat off and runs a hand through his hair, a familiar gesture, but there's something different in the way he carries himself now.
Through my shock, I still want to ask him about Cassandra.
"So, how have you been?" he asks, his voice low but sincere. "You seem... well."
He replaces the heavy hat and I smile faintly, though it's more for myself than for him. "I'm good. Really good. I've come a long way." The words seem to hang in the air, and Gabe doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he studies me as if trying to figure out who I've become. I'm not the girl who would have crumbled at the sight of him- technically I just did but that was more from the surprise of suddenly being blasted with the sight of him, after so long.
Hoping he sees that I'm not the girl who would have let my heart dictate my every move concerning him, I fidget with my hands, not knowing what else to do because I have no purse or phone to distract me... it's then I take note of my sisters' absence and my wandering eyes catch them at a table inside, both gaping at me- us.
He exhales, then shifts slightly, as though he's gathering his thoughts. "I... I didn't think I'd ever run into you like this. I thought I'd lost my chance at even being friends with you."
Friends?
At his words, something flickers in my chest, a brief pang of something I can't quite name. It isn't love. It's nostalgia. It's the ghost of something that once was but isn't anymore.
"Are- you- are you busy?" His eyes dart to the inside of the small cafe and I mumble I am with my sisters but I wasn't busy.
"Oh, well, I can catch you tomorrow- please, I would like to speak with you, Megara." Despite my irritation with his words- I mean, he did not have to delete my number, did he? Plus, he knows where I live. His parents and mine are friends. This sorry excuse is so lame.
"Now is fine." I hear the coldness in my tone and I am proud of myself. Never let them know how much they hurt you.
"I never wanted to lose you," he continues, and his voice cracks, just slightly. He then retakes his seat and gestures at me to take the other seat, opposite him. "I know I hurt you. I know I can't take that back." I raise an eyebrow, surprised at the vulnerability in his words. It's humbling, in a way.
"You didn't just hurt me, Gabe," I reply softly. Well... so much for not letting them know. What is it about Gabe that has me like potty? "You broke me. But I'm not broken anymore." There's a long pause. I'm not sure what I expect him to say. Another heartfelt apology? A confession? But he says nothing. Instead, he just nods, his gaze lingering on me, as though trying to read me.
"I'm sorry," he whispers after a long silence. "I knew I hurt you but I didn't understand how deep... I-" He breaks off and takes a long sip of his coffee- all. He finishes it. I stand slowly and he also rushes to his feet, still towering over me. I take him in. This new look and nod slowly as I let his words take root inside my brain.
The words feel like a release, one I didn't even realize I needed. We both stand there for a moment, neither of us knowing how to end this conversation. And maybe that's the point. Maybe this moment isn't about resolution. It's about acceptance. About understanding that we've both changed, and that the past can no longer define us.
"You're happy?" he asks, his voice softer now, more like the man I used to know.
"I am," I say, and I mean it. "I'm really happy." He smiles, and it feels genuine. It's not a smile that holds any regret, no longing, no hope that things could have turned out differently. It's just... peace. And for the first time, I realize that I feel it too.
"Well," Gabe says after a beat, "I guess we both turned out alright, didn't we?"
And I nod, my lips curving into a smile. "Yeah. I guess we did." No more lingering. No more unfinished business. Just two people who, despite everything, are finally at peace with what came before... I feel lighter.
"Meet me again Meg."
Between my eyebrows draw in vertical lines, and he adds a single word, near a plea that has me agreeing to meet him.
"Please."