What? I shake my head, trying to process his words. "You say that now, but back then, it felt like I was just… a replacement. Like you were trying to fill the void she left behind."
He squeezes my hand, his voice raw. "I know I gave you every reason to think that, but it's not true. You were never a replacement, Meg. You were my everything, and I was too stupid to see it. I should have- if I knew what I know now, I would have ended the friendship with her. It was toxic to us- to you and I. Selfish of me to want you- to expect you to accept her friendship given our past even after you overheard the conversation between us. I'm sorry, you should have never even heard that." He pulls away and rests his head between his hands, between his open legs. He was speaking of the discussion between them where she said she wanted to continue their relationship while Gabriel and I were together.
"God Megara. It should not have even happened in the first place. It was my responsibility to not even allow the space and time for it to even-" his tone is pained.
Tears slip down my cheeks, and I don't bother wiping them away. This was so not the time or the place for this but what better time is there when the truth is needed? Besides, I'm beginning to think this is the reason I'd been sent back. For Gabriel. To fix us. Someone higher than us saw we needed a second chance.
It's as if he could read my mind. "What if we got another chance? What if this time, we did it right?" He looks at me. So, he had meant what he'd said in the small town.
I laugh wetly, shaking my head but my heart is aching. "You make it sound so easy."
"It's not," he admits, his lips curving into a faint smile. "But nothing worth having ever is."
The air between us crackles with unspoken promises, with the weight of everything we've been through. I search his face, looking for any sign of doubt, but all I see is sincerity.
"What about the past?" I ask quietly. "All the mistakes, the pain- how do we move past it?"
"We don't forget it," he says. "But we don't let it define us either. We learn from it, Meg. Together. Like the future- the one you came from Meg. It's never happened so you cannot hold that against me. I'm not that man."
The word hangs in the air- together. It feels like a lifeline, like hope. Not that man. That is the truth. How had I understood that about Zulu and Daniel but not Gabe?
"We need to head back in, Liz will kill me if we're not in the photos." I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around me. The warmth of his embrace is both familiar and new, a reminder of what we had and a glimpse of what could be.
"I took plenty earlier. That's enough." As an afterthought, he adds, "Yeah but you're the sister. We should head back in."
"We're not the same people we were," I whisper. "Right?" I needed the confirmation.
"No," he agrees. "We're better."
The place suddenly goes eerie silent and we glance at the loft walls with slight frowns, standing up."Dance with me?" he cooed when sudden loud and lively music reaches our hearing. A live DJ.
I hesitate for only a moment before placing my hand in his. He pulls me close, his other hand settling on my waist as the music flows.
"This feels like a dream," I admit softly.
"Then let's not wake up," he replies, his voice low and intimate, kissing me softly.
"What if, one day boom, I'm gone and I'm back in the future?" I think I died and I do not want to return to being dead.
"Never going to happen."
I rest my head against his chest, letting the music and the moment wash over me. For the first time in years, the turmoil in my heart quits.
We return indoors to do my rightful duty as sister and bridesmaid, posing for pictures and picking up ends of conversations as if we had never gone missing for a bit. Avrielle knows however and so do my parents.
And Gabe's parents. Liz, Matt, Eiko, the wedding singer- the more I look around, the more I realize- everyone knows and my cheeks go red.
"This is my girlfriend," Gabriel announces and gets a few hoots and raised glasses while I hide behind Liz who is about to leave for her honeymoon because Gabe is glaring at the wedding singer. The innocent man raises his hands midway in mock surrender and remarks, "Hey congratulations."
As the night winds down, we find ourselves back outside, under the stars, lips against each other and alone except for the night staff but they know to give us privacy. The air is crisp, carrying the promise of spring, and the world feels full of possibility.
"Meg," he says, his voice breaking the silence as we stand facing each other, my head against his huge chest listening to the steady beat of his heart, while we sway to the non-existent music because it's late and the celebrations are over, but my parents had rented the loft for the weekend so we stayed behind.
"Hmm?" I did not want to move. I just wished he would stop talking so I could just be in bliss over this moment. Smelling him and feeling his soft yet hard chest beneath my cheek, in his arms, under the moonlight, smelling the clean night air.
"I meant what I said. About us. About our baby. I want it all with you. No doubts, no hesitations."
Startled by the sudden shift, I gaze up at him, my breath hitching at the intensity of his gaze. "Gabe…"
He leans his head closer, his hands cupping my face. "I love you. I want you as my wife, as the mother of my children. Whatever it takes, however long it takes. I'm all in."
Tears blur my vision, but I manage a shaky smile. "That's a funny way to propose, Gabriel."
He grins, his thumb brushing away a stray tear.
"And you're not supposed to ask me to marry you on my sister's wedding day. It's bad luck- I think."
"Luck won't dare mess with us, darling." And when he kisses me this time, it feels like coming home. I've loved every version of Gabriel. Even the broken version of us. I know then, I will never forget what we've been through because it's about pushing forward.
A loud screeching sound has us breaking away but it's only an owl.
"I love you, Gabriel. All of you. Even the flawed you-" I do not get to finish what I was saying nor do I want to. Not when the alternative to it was the way his lips were moving against mine.
"Come by the house tomorrow," he manages to say between kisses.
"For?" I gasp out, a mixture of his toxic kisses and the sheer joy of the moment.
His hands stay on my face, his thumbs brushing away tears, I did not realize were spilling. His voice is raw, the kind that comes from tearing yourself open. "I've spent years trying to forget you, knowing I didn't want to and I hope to not spend years again beating myself up over the fact that those years could have been spent loving you, instead." The corners of his mouth turn up and his Adam's apple bobbed.
"Gabe?" I question.
"The ring. I'm marrying you."