The familiar smell of her beautiful cooking wafted toward me when I pushed open the door, wrapping me in a blanket of warmth I hadn't realized I'd been missing. Tears sprang in my eyes as my slow steps followed the scent into the kitchen, and there she was- my mother, alive, standing by the oven, pulling out a tray of something delicious. I froze in the doorway, the sight of her so painfully beautiful that it stole my voice. My throat pained.
Taking off the thick mittens, she looked up, startled to see me. "Megs?" My shoulders dropped- it is her. This is so real. Only she called me Megs.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips, though her voice held a note of concern. "Shouldn't you be studying? We're not paying for you to skip, you know."
Pulling in my lips, I nodded, then smiled through the tears, my heart swelling with joy and sadness all at once. "I know, I just... I needed to come home."
Furrowing, she shook her head in mock disapproval, but her eyes softened. "Well, I'm glad you're here. But don't make it a habit. You're not a kid anymore." She wiped her non-messy hands on her apron and crossed the room to give me a quick hug. "It's good to see you, honey."
Good to see me.
An emotional storm washes over me, pulling against every fragile thread of my heart. I hugged her back, harder than I intended, and for a moment, she stiffened, surprised by the intensity but I hang on a bit longer just because I missed her warm embrace so much. "I missed you, Mom," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.
My father had never been big with hugs and I guess mother usually made up for it because we didn't notice it much- till she and my twin died.
She pulled back, giving me a curious look but I gripped her almost frantically. "Missed me? I saw you last month, silly. Are you feeling, okay?"
I nodded quickly, not trusting myself to speak. If she only knew the reality of it.
"Oh no, did you and Dan break up, baby?" her expression was etched with concern. No, I shook my head. The first time Dan and I broke up, Mum had been there for me. It did not happen yet. It would happen the week after my twentieth birthday. I had sobbed and sobbed but Dan and I made up back then... the accident...
No, this was a miracle and I am here to prevent everything from going wrong.
"Let's call the other one to see if she is where she should be as well," she jokes with me and I remember to keep myself in check then. At least I tried. I mean, this is still a big shock to be.
Mere hours... I haven't quite gotten around to adapting to it. Last night, I was losing my baby and today I have both my mother and sister back.
We called Avrielle, my twin sister. Seeing her face pop up on the screen, so full of life and energy, made my chest tighten- again. She was in her dorm, chattering away about something funny her boyfriend Cole had done, her eyes shining with happiness. She waved at us through the screen, joking about to Mom and I looked like I'd just been caught eating cookies before dinner.
It was way more than stealing cookies that gave me this stricken appearance dear sister.
"Avri, I swear, you're just jealous because you're stuck with Cole," I teased, slipping stiffly back into the dynamic we used to have. Even though it hurt, it felt good to laugh, to pretend for a moment that everything was fine.
After a few more minutes of chatting, she waved goodbye, promising to call again soon. "Don't get too comfy at home, Meg," she warned with a grin. "College won't finish itself."
I smiled, but as her face disappeared from the screen, the weight of everything pressed down on me again. I couldn't shake the feeling that none of this was real, that it was all a fragile dream that could slip away at any moment.
When Dad came home later that evening, I ran to him like a child, throwing my arms around him in a hug that startled him. He laughed, patting my back awkwardly. "Well, someone's in a good mood today," he said, grinning down at me. "What's gotten into you?"
"I'm just happy to see you," I said, pulling back and wiping at my eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling and I could tell he was concerned as well. He and Mom exchanged amused glances.
"Okay, well, we'll take it," Mom said with a chuckle. "But don't go racing out on us just yet."
Dad goes over to kiss my mother's cheek. It was his routine.
"It's Thursday, can't I stay until Sunday? It's practically the weekend already." I pleaded but then managed a smile when I saw the worried expressions on their faces again. But the truth was, I wasn't sure how long this would last- this beautiful, impossible second chance.
And I was not sure if and when I would be pulled back into my time zone.
When Liz arrived with Matt, I felt that same wave of gratitude wash over me as I gazed at her near beautiful and younger face. No wrinkles. Youthful. Carefree. Seeing my older sister, her strong presence filling the room, made me feel anchored. Liz that never let me feel alone- a hard fit but she did her best, like an elder sibling would.
Sometimes she went over and beyond, leaving Matt with the kids to visit me- like the previous night when Gabe- no. I give myself a mental shake.
Matt followed behind her, looking a little nervous as they walked up the sidewalk pulling their luggage behind them. See, Liz is studying in London and that's where she met Matt. At the university they both attended.
Rushing out, I pulled Matt aside when they entered the picket gate. "Don't say anything about sports, or politics and if and when dad asks," I warm them both, "You say you're not that into it, got it?"
Matt frowned and looked at Liz.
I whispered urgently to my future brother-in-law, "Trust me. Do not be yourself, like Liz said."
He gave me a confused look but nodded. "Okay... whatever you say." We had met before but only on video call.
"Oh, sorry, I am Megara."
As I watched my family settle into their usual rhythm- Liz teasing Mom, Dad laughing at Matt's awkward attempts to fit in and I felt a bittersweet ache in my chest. The video call with my twin earlier. This was everything I had lost. Everything I thought I could never have again.
And now, it was all here, laid out before me like a gift I just unwrapped.