You know the feeling when your shift is ending in half an hour and somehow the clock just seems to slow down? It makes people working for the entire day rethink their career choices, especially if you work at a hospital.
None of these plebeians seem to appreciate our job to save their lives, since they just run out of the door (Or in some cases, jump out of a fucking window) as soon as they can walk without limping to go on with their lives while the staff attempt to get them to stay in bed futilely. At this point, why do we even try anymore? The definition of insanity, and all that.
You would think that people who trained their whole lives to pursue a medical career would know better about what's good for one's body compared to idiots who willingly chose to be what is basically a mercenary in this world that is full of monstrously strong beings.
Just try and listen to us when we talk man. Come on, it's not that difficult.
I have to say, it's not all bad. I am legally an adult, so I can just drag me and the rest of the overworked staff to a bar once in a while to have some quality bonding time getting drunk. We often agonize over the fact that we can't legally sedate our patients without their consent. Sure, it's unethical, but I think hospital employees deserve that, at least.
But by far the worst thing about this job is the amount of paperwork I have to fill in if a patient suffers a permanent injury, and most of the time it's even avoidable if said patient didn't aggravate their injuries by doing stupid shit like training when their bones are fractured. Not pointing any fingers here.
I had a Genin burn their hands off with a reckless Fireball Jutsu before, and I had to fill in this twenty page form for him. I fully understand that he did lose his dominant hand, but writing with his other one can't be that hard, can it? Hell, I've seen people write with their feet before.
Had someone told me, a decade and a half ago, that being reincarnated in Naruto would mean more paperwork, I would have prayed to be banished to hell instead.
Hm, maybe this is my personal hell, tailored and designed just for me. Food for thought.
I really didn't think that a joke about doing paperwork even after death before I got dropped in this world with chakra and more ninja bullshit would be heard by whoever's out there. I really must have pissed someone off one way or another for this to happen to me.
… There was that one time I swore in second grade. It probably is the reason, now that I think about it.
You know what, all I'm doing now is just procrastinating. I have a stack of papers on my desk in front of me, and since I can't legally burn them, I just have to grit my teeth and get on with it. Tragic, I know.
If being labeled as a prodigy did not spare me from paperwork hell, is the reputation even worth it anymore? Should have just… tried to blend in with the furniture during my academy days, or something.
I should have known the clout wasn't worth it when I was taken under Kakashi's wing. Man is a walking red flag. In fact, I'm sure every prodigy in Konohagakure doesn't have a happy ending.
Kakashi has survivor's guilt and spends hours every day at the memorial stone, Orochimaru decided to go all mad scientist, Shisui will get his eye stolen and will ultimately off himself in the future, and Minato is currently six feet under, and likely to be dug out and revived due to Orochimaru to fight and kill a literal goddess. Can't forget Itachi now can I? He goes batshit insane, murders everyone and traumatizes his brother, and then also goes ahead and dies.
Oh, he gets revived too, by the way. Can't forget that. Now that I think about it, they seem to be handing out prodigy titles to literally anyone slightly talented and crazy enough to stay in this ninja business, so it's kind of overrated.
If it was up to me, I wouldn't touch that bag of worms even with a really long pole, but I was so bad at acting normal when my mind is literally a grown adult's that anyone with a functioning brain can tell I am quite far ahead of children at my age, hence the title prodigy. I couldn't pretend to do badly in tests even if my life depended on it, and I just had to answer all the hard questions the teacher asked in the academy when no one knew them because I wanted to show off.
At least I somehow convinced everyone that having an Uchiha working in the hospital was a good idea, so I started learning Medical Jutsus when I was eight, and have been working at the Konohagakure hospital ever since. It's not a great job, and I just spent a long time dissing said job in my head, but it's better than joining that pitiful excuse of a police force.
As most Uchihas have sticks up their asses and are assholes and disrespectful to anyone that isn't famous, or Jounin, or Uchiha, most of the staff hand over injured Uchiha members for me to patch up. Thankfully with the experience of a relatively normal lifestyle prior to this reincarnation, I am much nicer and more respectful to others compared to my relatives, and is relatively liked by people in Konohagakure which is very rare for Uchiha members. At this point in time, the tension between the clan and the village is so thick you could cut it with a rusty kunai, and I can probably count the number of Uchiha clan members that are liked by the average Konohagakure citizen on one hand.
It got so bad that the clan even tried to pressure me to accept roles that endeared me to the general populace for their own goals before I shut them down, and one of the senior clan members had the gall to say that it's for a really important reason that I am not authorized to know.
The reason is definitely not because the clan is preparing to coup the entire village, definitely not. How dare you dishonor the Uchiha name, you.
Well, I guess I can get Kakashi to bail me out of this mess if worse comes to worse. He taught me and Itachi a lot of things, and with so much combat experience under his belt, he should still be the strongest out of us three.
Still, having to work a shitty job getting covered in blood and other body fluids most of the time, paired up with truckloads of pressure piled on my tiny shoulders, and a deadline before one of my dear cousins goes insane and murders everyone, it's a miracle how I haven't gone insane yet. Honestly, it's a miracle.
At least I enjoy the company of fellow Medic-nins and doctors, they really have a special kind of dark humor that I can appreciate. Truly my brothers and sisters in arms.
But I still have to worry about Danzo lurking in the shadows, trying his damned best to ruin my day while counting the number of sharingan eyes he has like fucking Scrooge Mcduck counting his money, ain't that a lovely thought? He probably has like a dozen eyes stored in some kind of medical vial to spam that overpowered reality altering thing of his.
So a reincarnation with no prior fighting experience needs to learn how to fight people who can probably wipe out entire cities on a whim, all in the timespan of about fifteen years, give or take. And I'm more than halfway there already. Jeez, no pressure, Akari!
I hate my life already.
My remaining shift is peaceful, at least. Just have to clean some stuff up and take care of some documents. Half an hour passes, and I pack up my belongings and walk into a ramen booth, bumping into a friend already inside. Looks pretty drunk too, the guy.
I'm still a little bit woozy from doing an extra long shift in the hospital so I double check to see if it's really my teammate, instead of some civilian with a similar haircut. It might not sound like much, but you try handling blood, urine and all that nasty shit for eight hours straight with like four breaks in between. Hell, most of the medical staff didn't even take a break this time since four whole squads of ninja were injured from a run in with rogues, leaving most of us very tired and leaking killing intent everywhere we walk. The staff members probably scared some people, but if they want to complain the Hokage will just laugh in their faces anyways.
"So, there's this guy I met, just a couple days ago. Huge, absolute fucking unit, told me off because apparently my clinic's right smack middle of his turf, yea?" Oh, Shinya's talking to the cook right now. He's pretty animated too! Someone must have really pissed him off. "Apparently he's the grunt of some big bad boss, and he comes in and just breaks my door right off the bat."
"Uh huh."
"So he said that he's going to trash the place, not caring about the Yamanakas, like, at all. Can you believe that? The disrespect on my family's name!" He groans. "We did not perfect the art of the mind just to get some thug tearing the place down, man."
Now my interest is piqued. Someone brave or foolish enough to harass the Yamanaka members? This is going to be a good story. "Oh, he did not just say that. Really? Did he say anything about himself? What kind of gang he's in?"
"Fucking hell, well it's not important, is it? What's important is-" He suddenly stops, turns around, and then does a double take. "Holy. Akari, when did you get here?
"I've been here since the beginning of time, what are you talking about? You're too drunk, drink some water, will ya?" I sit down, and wave a waitress over. "A pork belly ramen, please. Oh, and some water for this… thing sitting next to me."
"Don't be too excited to see me now." As soon as the waitress put the glass of water down next to him, he quickly gulps it down. "Anyways, where was I? Oh right, the guy-"
"Akari, why are you here? Pretty nice of you to drop by, don't get me wrong, but did he invite you over or is this just coincidence?" A boy with some beer cans appears next to both of us, and he just dumps all of them on the table. Christ, no wonder Shinya's so out of it.
Well, I was wondering where Shigeru was, since the both of them are a team and often shadow one another. We were all in the same Genin team before, but I got a promotion to Chunin a bit earlier than them, so it kind of separated our group. I do still meet up with them and our Jounin teacher, Yui, regularly. We spar or chat sometimes, so I don't miss them too much. But meeting them randomly after some grueling hours of work? Pretty sweet if you ask me.
"Eh, I just finished my shift and was craving some noodles, so I came here. I was supposed to meet up with some elder from the clan right about now, but it's probably just another guy telling me the same thing again and again. The pricks had a talk with me lasting around two hours last time, and even complained about my lack of respect when I dozed off in the middle of it." Can they really blame me? I just got dismissed from a tiring ordeal and they really expected me to not fall asleep during one of their lectures? They really are expecting too much from yours truly.
"Shut up, both of you! I swear, if someone interrupts me one more time, I'm going to bash my head through a brick wall." Man, Shinya's really kicking up a fuss here. He's making me want to mess with him. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I'd continue with what I was saying. The gu-"
"What's that now? I swore I heard someone speaking. Did you hear something?" I turn to the cook, and he shakes his head, grinning. "That's what I thought. Must be all the alcohol."
"You're starting to get on my nerves, you know that? You haven't even opened a can yet!" He grabs a can and chucks it at me. Rude! "Drink this and shut up before I strangle you."
"Yea, yea. Just in case you remember this when you wake up, it's nothing personal. Go to sleep for a bit now, princess." I chop his neck with a hand and he just slumps over, snoring. It's too easy, every single time.
Shigeru sighs and pats my back comfortingly. "I swear, you always have to babysit him when he downs a couple. I know you don't mind, but still." His lips quirk up. "Hey, think we can use this as blackmail material? It's the least we deserve after all the troubles he gives us all the time, isn't it?"
I laugh at that. "Sure, go for it. Grab a pen and paint on his face, or maybe something more original." I'm wolfing down my ramen, so I'm talking with food in my mouth. The elders are going to have a panic attack if they see me now. "I'm a bit hungry, so I'll check it out after I'm finished with my food. You have fun with him now, alright? Don't go too far, he'll magic up a seal to embarrass and get you back if you do."
"Oh, you're no fun." He sighs, then goes to work, with me admiring his art by his side. I do miss the banter and shenanigans we get up to, it's just so enjoyable!
Less so for the guy whose face is full of drawings right now, but you win some, you lose some.
We part ways after finishing our food, with Shigeru dragging the barely recognizable Shinya back home. It's rare that I get time to truly enjoy myself these days, with more and more duties getting piled on me by the clan and the tension within it. Everyone can see that the Uchiha clan members are more skittish and wary than usual, and even Uchiha in the police force stop, well, doing police stuff when it doesn't affect the Uchiha clan positively.
They blame Konohagakure citizens for the tension when they literally don't do what they are paid to do, and the old coots have the nerve to ask me to endear myself to the general populace. Do they look into the mirror at all?
Because buddy, you guys aren't helping. I really hope nothing bad happens too quickly, as I'm not sure I can successfully survive fighting Itachi so soon even with help. But with the way things are going…
I'm not going to sugarcoat it, It's not looking good. I might be ready if I was given one more year to train while my cousin gets stuck in the middle of all the political drama between clan and village, but Itachi being the workaholic that he is, he's definitely still training even with all the responsibility he has.
Serves him right, if I have to train like hell to try to survive the massacre, he deserves to be in meetings with those fossils every second of the day, and then train until he falls over and croaks.
Huh, maybe that's one of the reasons why he wants to kill everyone in the clan. All that stuff can't be good for his developing brain. Not everyone can be Batman and work on like an hour of sleep, after all.
Almost makes me feel bad for him. Almost.