Itachi looks out of the window from inside his room in the clan compound, listening to the list of information his crow summons have gathered for him.
"Thanks for the help, Yatagarasu." He unsummons the crow he sent out before. The news he just received almost doubles his current anxiety. The crow brought news about the injuries Akari Uchiha sustained, and it isn't a pretty picture. Her back has a large slash, her ribs are cracked, and her leg tendons are badly patched. Her wounds opened once she ran out of chakra, her body no longer able to heal her wounds. The fact that she didn't bleed out before is truly a testament to her skills and unusual luck. No normal Chunin could patch herself up after an intense fight without using multiple soldier pills.
It's practically a miracle and blessing she only came down with a case of extreme chakra exhaustion and some non-fatal injuries.
He also received news about the discontentment his clanmates are voicing out rather vocally. Several Uchiha ninjas already declined missions, stating about their worry of being the next to get 'erased' via suicide missions, or getting backstabbed by an assigned teammate. The distrust from Konohagakure ninja for their clan is at an all time high, with most of the Uchiha district banned for non-Uchiha clan members. All of the clan members are on high alert and paranoid for an attack that won't even come.
Some of the ninja even bought out the kunai and shuriken stocks from multiple weapon stores all over the village and ran back to the Uchiha clan compound as fast as possible, making the situation even more precarious. He thinks that all this overreaction is unnecessary, but no one's willing to listen to him.
"The fools are drawing needless attention and escalating the already strenuous situation. We're walking on thin ice at this rate, and with our ninja sharpening their swords and kunais, we even look like we are preparing for a war." He grits his teeth and murmurs to himself. "Why did you get injured at such a critical moment, Akari? And where is Shisui when you need him?"
For the life of him, Itachi cannot figure out why Akari is targeted by ROOT of all things. After working with Kakashi and Tenzo, he figured out that ROOT is generally a secret organization that mostly take on S-ranked missions or hunt for dangerous ninjas that went rogue and act in the interest of Konohagakure, even if it means using sick and twisted methods to finish their missions. Attacking Akari is an extremely idiotic move, almost exposing the existence of ROOT to the world and tarnishing their image as the 'nice' hidden village while making the civilians distrust ninjas, which will inevitably result in a sharp decrease in mission requests from normal civilians. Why would he even entertain the thought?
Danzo's hate for the Uchiha can't be the only reason for him to make such an amateurish mistake, he has too much to lose from getting ROOT exposed, so what is his motive?
To make things worse, his father is demanding Itachi to provide intel about the attack on Akari Uchiha as the clan head, hoping to find some sort of foul play to have some leverage over the Third. His father is actively ordering him to commit treason by blackmailing his Hokage, forcing him to choose between fulfilling his duty to the clan or serving the village that he has grown to love over the years.
So much faith in someone like him.
Itachi knows that he will choose the village before the clan in a heartbeat if it comes down to it. How can he not, after watching his former teammates sacrifice himself to make a difference on a mission gone wrong?
Even if he has to betray the trust of his parents and his younger brother, even if he has to betray the hard work people like Shisui and Akari did in order to decrease the tension between the clan and the village, even if he were to sell his soul, as long as the village he grew up in can continue to thrive, he would give anything to ensure that the people living in it can have relatively happy lives.
Well, anything but one.
He peeks into his younger brother's room, seeing him laying down on a bed, snoring without a care in the world. He always idolized innocence, with Sasuke being a perfect example of it. Not tainted by the sight of corpses, severed limbs, and bloody images, forever seared into his memory by the sharingan. Unlike him, Sasuke never saw the battlefield, never had to learn the truth of this cruel world, where the strong do what they please and where morals are a liability. If it's up to him, he will shield his brother from this cruelty as long as he draws breath, but the clan expects Sasuke to follow in his own footsteps, giving all he has to serve the clan, while not receiving anything back but empty words of gratitude and patronizing words.
Itachi shakes his head, pushing those thoughts in the back of his mind and remembering the reason why he joined Shisui to preserve the peace between his village and his clan. As long as people like his brother can smile and live peacefully in Konohagakure for the time being, people like him will be all too willing to bear the burden of being in the middle of all the politics and drama between the clan and the village. Even if he has to sacrifice his relationships with everyone he holds dear, he can bear it, as long as the village prospers and his brother lives well.
Thinking back to the times he trained Sasuke, and seeing him mature slowly brings a smile to his face. The sharingan grants the user a perfect memory when activated, with his eyes remembering everything he saw. Most of those memories are that of spars, or fights to the death, as those are the times where he uses his Dojutsu the most, predicting movements and dodging the projectiles of his enemies.
But he also remembers the admiring looks his brother gives him when he trained him in shuriken throwing, the times he spent with his family before the large rift between them caused by his loyalty to the village, and simpler times of running D-ranks and simple C-rank missions with his Genin team. Remembering the fate of his teammates, the smile slowly turns bittersweet.
He closes the door leading to Sasuke's bedroom slowly and quietly, going to the washroom to get ready for another day of dealing with troublesome clan elders and Konohagakure officials, knowing that he once again will disappoint his brother by not spending time with him.
"Forgive me, Sasuke, for being selfish. Just this once."
The words sound fake even to his own two ears.