Bright morning sun crept through the window, touching Cassian's room softly. He stood before the mirror, staring at the boy he had turned into over the past three months. Unkempt red hair stuck out in all directions about his face, a stark contrast to pale skin. It was such deep red that it glowed; both uncertainty and determination lay there, a reminder of the stormy past he was trying to recover from.
"Ready for your first day?" Sarah called out from the kitchen, her excitement being audible in her voice.
"Yeah, I guess," said Cassian, even though the knot in his stomach told a different story. Not much of a friend-maker, he was scared of this plenty of hours before going before the people in the room.
He had a quick breakfast and slung his backpack over his shoulder, stepped out into the sharp mountain air to breathe it in, and amidst the breathtaking beauty of the landscape, he felt a kind of thrill of adventure splayed across his face, somewhat overshadowed by the fear of what was waiting for him.
The autumnal colors danced all around in the vibrant hues of fall. In front of him loomed the school building, large, from stone to glass, and seemed imposing. There, among the students, was laughter and chatter filling the air. Cassian stopped at the entrance. He felt like an outsider looking in.
That was where the noise was deafening. He found himself in a whirlwind of excitement and pandemonium. A locker slammed, and a student ran past him with no regard for him as such. He navigated through the corridors to class; no attempt was made to keep a low profile.
Finally, after reaching Room 204, he took a good breath of air and flung open the door. The classroom shone bright, with long rows of desks filling the room. Some students had already settled down; others whispered to each other, and others were engrossed in their phones.
He stood up and walked down the aisle to the front of the class with his heart pounding. He felt the weight of their gazes; he made himself stand tall and straight though.
"Hey, um. My name is Cassian Reeve," he said in a steady voice but one with no spirit. "I just transferred here.".
As he spoke, a few of the students caught his eye, some of whom looked at him with much curiosity, while others looked at him as if he did not exist at all. The red locks and eyes seemed to draw a few shocked stares, but Cassian never felt a need to reply. The vibrant, ebullient Cassian who talked so much about his family now seemed an eternity ago, put into abeyance by this more cautious version.
"Cool," one of the boys said, reclining in his chair. "What brings you here?"
"Just family reasons," Cassian said, the familiar wall rising. He scanned the room, took in the disparate mix of students-the jocks and artists and quiet ones, each with their cliques.
"Right," the boy said, shrugging. "Well, welcome, I guess."
The air was tense, but Cassian shifted from one foot to the other, as if he didn't notice this at all. He quickly grabbed a seat on the back bench and slid into obscurity, grateful to be out of sight.
She greeted and introduced herself as a middle-aged woman with very kind eyes. The beginning of the school year: she began to lay out the syllabus for the year. And as she talked, Cassian's thoughts strayed. How was he going to fit in with this lot? Would he ever find a place among them or would he be an outsider?
In this lesson, he was unable to focus at all; he was simply drifting through the day. His mind drifted around, and the only thing he could relate to was the family. They were the ones who genuinely knew him. Since they are the only ones that could give him a sense of belonging, he never thought that he'd be able to achieve that again, but here he felt most lonely among so many faces.
After school, people started chatting and stirring up to catch up with friends or to make weekend plans. Cassian continued sitting at the desk, brooding over the social dynamic going on around him. His heart ached for something-to connect, but the fear of rejection kept holding him back.
As he stepped out of the classroom, he heard bits of whispers in conversation, laughter ringing in his ears as some kind of taunt. What was it going to take for him to belong?
He walked through those crowded hallways, every step weighted down with doubt. With every laugh, with every smile that passed him, he felt more isolated, an observer in a world that seemed so vibrant, alive.
And yet as he pushed out into the open air by the door, there below him were the mountains, crowning the school like gentle giants.
He was prepared to go home after an uneventful first day.