Bowin was a weird child now that he thinks about it. He rarely got along with people, often shut in learning about history or reading fictional stories. When he was outside he would be doing various activities from playing piano, to his afterschool chess matches, nothing that got him to populair with his peers.
He had one friend though, a family friend, Jack, he was a reckless child and lost of fun. But Bowins busy schedule and his parents concern for the boy's influence let them drift apart
Often isolated from others he didn't have social skills. Going into his teenage years wasn't the change he thought it would be. Already the nerd of the class he didn't get invited in any activities like parties or hanging out after school. No, it stayed at chess and piano lessons.
Thinking back to it, he didn't really try to make friends after a certain point. The one time a girl did try to talk to him his face became red, he didn't even know what she said he just knew he ran. And that was that. No girls came to him, the boys laughed behind his back.
At home he lived a comfortable enough life, his parents owned a business that was more than profitable, even if Bowin wasn't intelligent inheriting it was already written in the stars. That's what he did going into adulthood. Marrying someone his mom set him up with, having 2 children and after a long enough time having four grandchildren.
Marriage was interesting, having sex for the first time with his wife, Martha, was the most nerf racking yet exciting thing he had ever done. And they did it often, at first. He didn't know exactly when it happened, but sometime after the birth after his first child their sex life dried up.
Bowin didn't fight it, the business took in allot of time anyways. And a few times a year they would have sex anyways. It was in these times when their second son was born. Bowin chuckled, he looked at him, Rory, blond haired, blue eyes the complete opposite of his father.
At the time he didn't wanna acknowledge the fact that his wife cheated on him, but it was obvious, it was not his child.
On paper his life was perfect. But on his deathbed he felt a certain emptiness.
Even with his two sons crying next to him. His first was the same as him, awkward, intelligent, yet a bit more confident than his father. The second was also smart, but his prowess lied in his emotional intelligence. For him friends, girlfriends and people came easy.
Bowin did everything for this family, before that he did everything what his parents wanted. Now he realized that he did nothing for himself.
Not the passions he wanted, not the life he wanted, all of what he had right now was like a cage, sealing him from true freedom.
That night he went to sleep with a deep sigh of defeat, "I wish I fought to have a life of my own."
He died the next day at the age of 87.
Darkness. It was like a long sleep without any dreams, or just the ones you won't remember having.
Then there were sounds, like sitting in a plane that was going through turbulence. There was also sounds of young men talking. Like very young, the ones that hadn't even gone through puberty.
Bowin's eyes started twitching as he gained consciousness. "Hey, hey!"
Then his eyes snapped open and bright white light overwhelmed him. It took a second before he could see his surroundings.
He sat against a wall with about 10 young boys sat on either side of him. Infront of him was the same story, a row of about 20 boys sitting.
They all wore military clothing, their chest, shoulders and legs armored. On their head a helmet that looked like it was made of steel. All of them didn't look a day over 17, their expressions ranging from dead staring to shivering fear. Behind them there was a dark window, with a glow coming from the left direction.
"Are you going to answer my question… were you sleeping!?" It was a boy that sat exactly opposite to Bowin, he had freckles on his face, greenish eyes that were piercing. Some of the the other boys in this room chuckled. The others sat dead silent.
"What?" Bowin said genuinely confused, the green eyed boy shook his head lightly, he smirked, "Sleeping at a time like this, you either have balls of steel or you don't care about your life. The question was, where are you from?"
It was then when Bowin noticed all the other people looking at him. He felt shy, he didn't even know what was going on, now he was here being questioned. Was this the afterlife? He didn't know.
When he thought about the question he was asked he thought about the life he just left behind. He was from New York, but then another also came, "New Nola" he said to the green eyed boy.
Yes, he knew this place, he lived there all his life. New Nola of the Stacks federation was a planet with a lot of valuable resources, and the most amount of people in the federation at 24 billion.
He remembered a life with his family, a big one of six. They lived a poor life compared to Bowins other past memories but it was a fond one.
At the age of 14 he had to join the army as he was one of the unlucky men to be drafted.
Now he was here, after his 4 month basic training in a spaceship on the way to battle.
"New Nola… I'm also from there." A young man said, he looked 16, his face had a scar across the edge of his lip, his eyes low. He had seen battle before. Bowin remembered, this was his ship leader Sench.
"Hard work is what you learn there, hard work and grit. Best believe you'll need those shiny." Sench smirked
The ship rumbled, Sench's smile disappeared, "We'll land in 2 minutes, prepare for battle."
He stood facing the gate that would lead outside, a riffle in his hands held at ease.
The glow outside the window grew brighter, they were approaching a planet, it eventually became light blue. Same as earth Bowin thought. The other soldiers in the room began standing side to side, taking their rifles in their hands.
Bowin did the same, his rifle was in a slot next to his seat.
It was then when he realized, he was going to war. His heart began pumping and he began hyperventilating. He read about war in his previous life.
The napoleonic wars, the world wars the Vietnam wars, he read about almost all of them. He knew how gruesome they could get, how one incompetent man could get
Thousands killed. And now he was one of those.
He kept asking himself what was going on, but the memories of this life were vague, he couldn't think in this stressful moment.
"Yo Balls of steel." The voice next to him drew his attention, it was the green eyed boy from before. "I didn't get you're name."
Bowin took a moment to calm himself down, "it's Bowin." "Cool, cool, Jace, I'm from Ganasia…. Are you really not scared at all?"
"No, I'm scared. Can we not run away?"
Jace chuckled, "Where would we even run to, in a few seconds we land on some war torn planet, with no ship that leads back home. This is going to happen."
With that all the hope dropped to Bowins feet, he felt his through lump up, a similar feeling he has right before he would cry. But he held it in, not here, with these people.
"Bowin," his attention was back on Jace, "I wish you the best man." Jace held a fist up, it was after a long moment that Bowin realized he should bump it.
Sench at the front of the line said: "My fist battle was on Osion, 2 years ago. I was just as afraid as you guys, or even more so. Yet I survived and so could you. Remember your training and with a bit of luck, you'll be here tomorrow."
The gate lowered, light shone through, the sounds of laserguns, explosions and groans could be heard.
When it fully lowered, Senchs started yelling for the boys to, "GO GO GO GO"
The front started running and eventually it was Bowin's turn. He did too, but his legs felt like they were going through water. The outside was just like he expected; red lasers zipping through the air, the ground with ditches from explosions and destroyed vehicles scattered across the battlefield.
There were other ships landing on the battlefield, each with their own batch of soldiers.
They dropped like flies. Some of the soldiers infront of Bowin got shot and fell immediately. Others fell to the ground in pain.
There was one with a face of anguish looking at his lost hand, the smoke of the laser gun still present.
At the sight of these horrors Bowin felt absolute fear, running to the nearest ditch jumping into it like a madman. He burrowed in as deep as he could holding his lasergun like it was his dearest friend.
He sat in there shivering. Every explosion, every shot making him fear for his life.
Bowin wanted back, back to the deep sleep that was everlasting, back to peace.
Another soldier jumped in a ditch with him, bulky, hard skin, tall.
"I guess you don't have balls after all Bowin." he said with a serious expression. "How do you know my-" "I know all the men's names in my squad, you should too." The man said.
That's when Bowin remembered, this was his squad leader, Howl. Suprising enough he was just 16.
"Are you scared Bowin?" Howl asked. Bowin was still hyperventilating, but managed to get out a sentence, "Yes, I've never been this scared!" "Well no shit!" Howl yelled. Something exploded near them.
"Were all scared man, were all just boys just like you! surrounded by death just like you!"
He yelled, but his face had a odd calmness to them after a moment, "Yet we all run towards the fire."
"Why? How!" "Because we need eachother. If all of us sat back here waiting to die nobody would make it out alive. So we trust in eachother, die for eachother and live for eachother. Were brothers, we have no one outside of this battle man. That's why we run towards the fire, because we do it together!"
Bowin realized that there were others just like them running towards he was afraid to go. No, he wasn't like them, at least he lived a full live. These boys didn't have anything else.
Bowin clenched his gun, "What do we do?"
"Remember your training, the rest of our squad is up ahead, I'll give you cover, you run towards them. It's saver in numbers."
"Alright!" "Just remember to give me cover when it's time." "Of course" Howl looked over the edge of the ditch and started blasting. without thinking Bowin ran, eyes closed and nausiaus. Howl was right he couldn't be a coward, not when the other boys much younger that him were giving everything they had. he opened his eyes and saw laser shots flying towads him, missing him by just a bit. But then he saw returning fire flying over his head. When he briefly looked back Howl was stil with the back up. Then Bowin saw it, cover. A ruined building that shielded three other boys, he knew these guys, they met just a few days ago when they were put in the same squad. He ran as fast as he could and eventually just chrashed into the wall. One boy looked at him in suprise, "Bowin!? We thought you were dead. Were is Howl?" Stanley asked
"Just behind me, we need to cover for him!" He said, the enemy soldiers hid on the top of a building.
With shacking hands Bowin aimed towards them, before this day he had never shot a gun but that would change now. He pulled the trigger, it was a rapid fire gun that shot fast, it was as if the gun vibrated in his hand.
Then the clip emptied, he had to reload. So he went in his knees and the trained instincts took over. He could almost do this with his eyes closed, while he did that his squad mates gave Howl the cover he needed.
Eventually he was there too, unharmed, stoic in expression. "We need to push forward."