So there they were at the camp, nobody really spoke to eachother it was about 30 people left about 10 of them had died and about 5 were injured. Howl, was now at central with the other squad leaders, talking to Sench about future strategies and the tactics that would be followed the next day. They were right before a bridge not crossed for they new that anyone that crossed that bridge would be shot by the Luksano soldiers.
The river underneath that very same bridge had a calm stream that reflected the two moons of this planet in the water.
Bowin sat at a campfire alone thinking about the actions of today, he had killed two people already and the next day promised hardcore fighting. He could die that day. He didn't care, he wanted death again. Killing people, war, it was simply not for him.
Who even was he now, who was this boy whose body he just overtook. Now that the combat was over he could browse his memories more clearly. Bowin, Son of Lywin, born on New Nola in the city of Hobson.
He would spend his days helping his father in his store, if not that he would help his mother with the house.
It wasn't that Bowin completely overtook this body, it was more as if the fused to be one person. Maybe this boy was some reincarnation of him, and he regained his previous memories. Whatever it was, he was here now.
His teammates, they seemed friendly, as people at least. But as soldiers they were ruthless, no prisoners were taken, Brock even went out of his way to chase down those that tried to flee. He scared Bowin a bit.
Bowin looked in the flame and cradled himself. Rollo came to sit opposite to him, his round frame coming out of the shadow like a predator only to reveal a kind smile.
"Geez, that conversation fucked you up didn't it." He said, his eyes were warm.
"I just don't understand how you do this." Bowin started, "We killed people, I get they were Luksano but they are still people."
"I get what you mean." Rollo started, "They had a life of their own they wanted to return to, you feel like this is more than you signed on for." "Exactly!" Bowin said as if he finally found a peer, "I'm glad you understand!"
"Yeah Howl had the same exact conversation with me." Rollo continued. "Really, But how do you deal with all this now?" "By accepting it Balls. You have to think this way in battle. The Luksano soldiers certainly do.
Bowin's head hung again, "Then maybe it's just me, it does have to be this way… and Stanley!" He suddenly shouted, "Did Howl tell him this too, does he struggle? How does he feel about this all?"
Bowin threw a look at Stanley who also sat by the campfire. Stanley met his gaze the flame dancing in the reflection of his glasses. "Stanley doesn't care, he is a different story entirely." Rollo said, waving his hand at dismissively, "He was the only one crazy enough join the army without even being drafted. What a creep."
"I can hear you dumbas." Stanley spat, "Some of us are bold enough to grasp the future without being called in the first place."
"You came to this yourself, why?" Bowin asked, a bit confused, a bit worried.
"You don't seem that shy anymore balls." He smirked, Bowin got caught of guard by that remark.
"I came here for lots of reasons: to serve the federation, to grow, but most importantly, to be apart of the age of glory."
Rollo let out a deep sigh, "Here we go again." "Don't ask him what that is Bowin" Brock said, coldly. It was honestly one of the few times Bowin heard him speak.
"See, even Brock is done with your bullshit vision." Rollo continued.
"I don't really care." Stanley answered.
It was silent for another few minutes. Honestly Bowin had nothing to say anymore, it seemed the minds were set here, they were in war, people had to die and the enemies, well their lives didn't exist.
Maybe he was just not meant to be a soldier, maybe he could only be what his parents and family made him.
Then, moments later, Howl returned, explaining the plan before assigning guard duty. Bowin got to sleep for the first 4 hours but he would have to wake up and pick up after Brock.
The night on this planet was as cool as those old December mornings. The ground was full of broken glass, and loose sharp metal pieces. Something you wouldn't notice until you stood there barefoot.
Bowin was exhausted but his sleep barely felt like it was enough to get him back online. Before he knew it he already got woken up by Brock to take over the duty.
He patrolled the camps, keeping a keen eye out for people. But then a thought occurred to him, he could shoot himself, right now and just be dead again. He could escape this world of hell back to that of peace.
He already knew that the afterlife was peaceful, there was nothing to be scared of, it could be so easy.
This world, no this universe of war was meant to eat people like him
His hands shook, the rifle that shone in the moonlight it would definitely get the job done. Just when he was about to put the weapon underneath his chin he heard footsteps approach him.
He turned around shocked aiming for whatever that was. "Slow down man, you don't wanna shoot your fellow Nolan." It was Sench, hands in pockets, taller than than most, a little moustache growing on his lips, a scar on the side of his lip.
Bowin saluted but Sench took his own hand and lowered Bowins. "It's alright Bowin, I'm not for all that uptight stuff " he said. "Oh, sure…" Bowin said, still unsure about how he should speak to the Ship Leader, "what are you doing out here so late… sir."
"Walking, clearing my head, tomorrow is gonna be a hell of a day." He looked up to the sky, it was starry.
"Definitely, how do you even remember my name?"
Sench bobbed his head towards the tent of Howl, "He told me a bit about you, plus, your the only other guy from New Nola and I won't forget those." Sench had a natural smirk. It was just always present.
"Were you about to do what I think you were about to do?" Sench asked, the question cut straight through the air.
Sench's eyes, not judgemental, they just seemed a bit tired. No concern, curiosity was more like it.
Still Bowin felt ashamed, he was hoping that he wasn't seen. "I- icantdothis." Bowin said fast.
"So death is going to be your escape?"
"This war, those people, I can't kill them, I can't fight this stressful war."
Sench's eyes gazed over Bowin, a eyebrow raised as he was doing it and his smirk faded.
"Just like that?"
"Huh!?"
"You're gonna end something so precious because life isn't fair. Your right, it isn't fair, but once life gets hard, once your out your element, you decide to end it all."
"How can my life be precious and that of the enemy not."
"I never said that, nobody here is asking you to believe that… wel, some might. But were on a battlefield, these were circumstances put on us. That doesn't mean that you can't define your life." Sench turned around again, "if your gonna be mad that you can't be a pacifist be mad. But don't come to me with some lame excuse to escape your the harsh reality." He walked off as if he never even was there to begin with.
Morning came and the troops went back to their squads, some of them merged as they lost too many men. Jace, as he was the only survivor of his squad joined with Howl's squad.
On the other side of the bridge the Luksano soldiers already sat in position. Some of them peppered on the buildings, some of them in formation on the bridge it self