"Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The air was as tense as the four were, as the older guy with round glasses and nearly white hair takes off his glasses, his eyes boring into the furious, doe eyes of the raven haired, who had his fists clenched till the knuckles turned white.
"Your son had managed to beat up three of our students, who are currently hospitalized with broken limbs, and your son does not seem to understand the severity of the situation at all!"
The raven haired switched his furious gaze to the suited male, his father, who was eyeing back at Jungkook with the same furiousness. His doe eyes then swept through the woman, his mother, who was in the same suit as his father, glaring back at him and mouthed 'I shall deal with you later.'
"Respected principal," the woman in the suit spoke formally, in a monotonous voice. "You are aware of Jungkook's anger issues and took in Jungkook into your esteemed college knowing very well his triggers and consequences of his episodes."
The principal took in a deep breath, who Jungkook assumes that is probably regretting taking him in the college the first place.
"I did as your son had immense talent of art and paintings," the principal reasoned. "But this... is unforgivable."
Another woman, a teacher, who was siding the principal spoke out, "I witnessed the fight, madam. Your son was feral. It was like he had turned to a beast, a monster who had lost every single bit of humanity and- I am sorry, madam, but we cannot be risking the safety of the other students for the sake of his talents."
Jungkook could feel his mother sighing from the behind- he feels the adrenaline rush in him, his heart pounding and fists knuckled too tightly; no one ever acknowledged his reason, his point of view.
Jungkook shut his eyes close, taking in a sharp breath suppressing his anger, suppressing his pounding heart, muttering inwardly to himself, 'no one cares, no one understands, and no one believes.'
Jungkook could feel the hesitation in the principal, the guiltiness of letting an ace student go as he gently muttered, "your son is expelled."
His voice was almost unheard, like a gentle whisper, getting Jungkook's anger back on track. "Say it louder and clearer, you moron!"
Jungkook was fuming, his eyes glaring into the soul of his principal- Jungkook almost didn't notice that his breathing labored, his fists yearning to break something- just anything he could see, and according to Jungkook, he is holding himself, holding his anger back to the greatest extent.
"I am expelled! Do you hear it, mother? Father? I am expelled! Expelled because I was beating those plagiarizing bastards up!"
"Shut up, Jungkook" his father growled. "You could have used words to clear the misunderstanding, like a normal human being!"
Jungkook growled out, "there was no misunderstanding, father! He stole my art!"
"Shut up, Jungkook! You are embarrassing me! I am ashamed to even acknowledge the fact that you are my fucking son!"
Jungkook froze, his doe eyes flashing with upcoming tears and pain- he could not move a muscle.
He was hated, hated by his own parents for something he could not control. Can no one understand his pain, can no one be compassionate about his feelings, can anyone ever love him?
Is love just a mere dream?
Is love a dream which can never be true, a cure which can never be found, an ache of life and soul, an itch of comfort, a mirage that zaps off the pain?
Jungkook felt as though the world numbed, everything was a blur- he could distinctly see his parents speaking to the principal yet Jungkook could not hear a thing; the pain overclouds every single thing.
Jungkook was dragged away by his mother from the principal's office, the principal staring at Jungkook with a pitiful eyes as he put back his glasses on, turning back to his work.
...
Jungkook savored the taste, the euphoria, the pain to the utmost extent as the suffocating smoke of the cigar surrounds him, covering the entire veranda and escaped to the almighty as Jungkook stared at the flying smoke which Jungkook thought resembles the clouds.
Jungkook wished he was that cloud of smoke, which flies higher and higher into the almighty sky, the farther it goes, the more it disappears, the weaker it gets and vanishes into the sky altogether, completely and never show up again.
The cigar was dangerously close to burning completely as Jungkook dropped the cigar, which fell beside the other three and stepped on it, extinguishing it completely.
His lungs burnt, his throat ached itching to fall into a fit of cough as Jungkook exited the veranda with a sigh- he does not really enjoy the feeling, the pain when he coughs.
This is the typical Jeon Jungkook way to deal with stress and heartbreak- chain smoking.
Smoking stirs something in his anger issues and calms him down like a deep breath after drowning underwater.
Jungkook knows it is the wrong way of dealing with the fact that he is Bipolar, but Jugnkook cannot help it.
His parents are too busy with 'bringing up their company', the maids whom they hired are taking care of Jungkook for money, and lover- Jungkook would rather not talk about that.
People fear Jeon Jungkook too much, people fear his outbursts, people fear being his friends to even hope for somebody to love him, somebody to care and worry for him, somebody to be there for him.
Jungkook sighed, he knew he was hopeless. His situation was hopeless. The therapy was hopeless- at least for Jungkook; useless and another pathetic way for that doctor to earn money, for what shall Jungkook do if all he yearns is to be loved and accepted for his own, true self.
His therapist, more like the-rapist, hits on Jungkook's weak spots even more, dissing him even more, triggering Jungkook even more if Jungkook does not listen to her, making Jungkook resent her, resent the therapists even more.
Of course Jungkook threw a huge fight that he won't be taking therapy anymore yet now, Jungkook is being pushed into it all over again.
Jungkook let himself fall on the bed with a little sigh as he wondered about love, about being loved, about loving someone- Jungkook swears he would hand the fucking world over to the guy who he might fall in love with, that he could burn anyone who hurt his lover to the ground, that he would remain fallen on that guys foot in return for love.
Just love. True, untainted love.
...
Jungkook shifts back, scratching his neck, not realizing he had fallen asleep, when he hears his room door clicking open.
It was already evening, the sky was pouring out all its tears as the darkness surrounds him- the dark clouds would never let light peep through them.
Jungkook turns back to find a boy walking down his room, shutting the door behind him as he stressed out, "I have warned you before, Jungkook! I have advised you to let go of smoking!"
Jungkook melts at the concern in the boy's voice, with his heart fluttering to the warmth that it sends through him, he mutters "I tried, love. I tried the best I could."
Jungkook's breath hitches as the boy sat beside the lying figure of Jungkook, beside him on the bed as his hands gently removed the messy, raven locks of hair from Jungkook's face. Jungkook could not see his facial features, Jungkook could not make out a single minor detail, yet the boy looked like a light shining through the darkness.
"I can understand, Mi Amor. I really can," the guy whispered, which sent tingles through Jungkook's ears. "But can you understand that smoking could kill you? What shall I do without you, Jungkook?"
Jungkook gently closed his eyes shut feeling the pain in the guy's voice, feeling the weight of the situation, weight of the frustration his lover is in.
"What shall I do without you, love?" Jungkook whispers back to the guy as he sat up on the bed, gently cupping the boy's face.
He could feel the boy's breath hitching, he could feel the boy's tenderness, the love and care for him. Jungkook feels thankful about this guy who loves him, who cares for him through all his faults, imperfections and pain.
"Why are you not so enduring, yet etched?" Jungkook whispered into the guy's ears, his own heart racing, yearning for any sort of reaction from the boy.
"Promise me, Jungkook. Swear on me that you won't touch the cigar, ever."
Jungkook's breath hitches, this has got to be the hardest promise he's ever gonna dare to make- he would look for a cigar just every time he feels his adrenaline rush, every time his anger takes the best of his rational part- this was going to be hard on Jungkook.
Yet, Jungkook was willing to go any extent for his lover.
"I swear, my love. I swear," Jungkook whispered, feeling the shiver that just ran through his spine.
"If shall you break the promise, I'll die-"
Jungkook placed his palm on the boy's lips, stopping the guy from uttering another single word.
Jungkook's throat itched so badly to say, 'I would rather lose every single thing I possess, I would rather rip out my heart, my soul and hand over to the heavens, I would rather yeet myself off a cliff- don't ever, ever never think of leaving me. Ever.'
But all Jungkook had the guts to do at that time is to pull the guy into a kiss, a reassuring, slow kiss, pouring out all his emotions, pain and love- this way he could convey his feelings, his emotions better.
Behind him was the darkness that vividly surrounds Jungkook, the roaring rain could be felt, the petrichor could be smelt, the sudden flashes of lightning could be felt through the window, yet the only light was his lover, that guy whom he is kissing so tenderly- so tenderly that it could be a dream.
...
Jungkook's eyes squinted, the sun shining brightly right on his eyes as Jungkook let out a groan before sitting up- had he forgotten to close the curtains?
Jungkook looked around, his eyes shifted from every corner of his room to the veranda and the bathroom, looking for his lover, looking for the guy who he loved and the guy who loves him, yearning for the guy's tender, soft touches as he felt his doe eyes drop in disappointment.
Of course, the road was super dry, the sun mockingly smiling at him- for there was no clouds to hide him in the first place.