After running for eternity, forgetting everything on the way... They couldn't forget their way home. Bare feet, in the wet ground, tears falling along with the rain. Who can tell if they were there due to pain or happiness?
After that day if it were you? Wouldn't you wish to crawl under the blanket all warm and dry listening to the raindrops hitting the glass window in a soothing tone? No, that wasn't even in the options for them.
As soon as the door was locked from inside, they ran to their desktop and trying again and again to type in that dripping wet situation they were in whilst praying, hoping, wishing that they would get through to the person on the other side.
They fucked up! And it hurt to admit but, they can't be alone with the information. They needed someone. No man is an island and plus, even if they ARE that much of the definition to anything toxic, they needed company.
From: Beauty-in-darkness
To: Christmas_in_woods
Subject: Take me back home
Hi,
It would seem that I have no shame writing to you as I am, after all that I wrote to you last year. I'm sorry and honestly I don't think if I even deserve another shot at this with you but, I'm here with all my selfishness and stubbornness. I'm naked, desperate... I need you.
Since, you have read through that awkward apology and still on this paragraph then that means I'm safe to proceed with my intentions. To which is a wrong boring story like my life but, long story short? I'm dying.
Funny enough not through suicide as I previously thought but, cancer... What more easy way to go, right? I don't have to do anything. You are confused I get it but, don't I deserve a medal here? I manifested this!
I never disclosed this through the years we have been together but, you are the only thing that mattered to me. I only saw your face when they told me about this news, fifty two minutes ago to be exact. Doesn't this make you my Sam from Irreplaceable you? But, unlike Abbie I'm not grieving about it because I know nobody will miss me when I'm gone.
Do you remember Brown haired beauty? That would be my ideally ending except for the cats and bruises. Out cold and alone in her cage of a castle but, strangely I like that to happen to me too. I don't need people finding my body still warm, what if I wake up and I'm already buried?. Scary.
I don't need your pity. I need you to make this life, short as it seriously got as bearable as possible. I need someone to love and be loved by even through this distance. I need to get those music that you love so much and play them over and over as I'm pacing my days. I need somebody with a beautiful different mindset for my work as we criticize word for word, tearing my heart into pieces in private only to build up my pride in front of my fans. I need someone who gets me in spite of my flaws. Someone to stay even when I cry for them to go.
I know, it's sad that it took me dying to find your worth. Who would believe that my name could be used on the toxic side to a therapist. I can't change though, I used too much in me and the world to feel like myself again. In all honesty, I know every other dark hurting emotion known by man but, Pain that comes from loving too much. Show it to me.
Take me back to my innocence days where nothing is much daunting than people's expectations, I hope to feel the smile on my face just like the one you said you loved on a child, worry free and genuine joy with their eyes matching their emotions. Let me feel that sorrow of disappointing you... I just want to kiss it all better for somebody other than me. Selfish, I know.
With love and admiration,
Me.