Chapter 5 - The Sasquatch Bros.

I should've been celebrating. After all, I had just taken down the Skibidi King, the literal TikTok god of Ohio, and kept my title as Brain Rot Overlord. But if living in Ohio had taught me anything, it was that victories were short-lived, and peace never lasted. Something always lurked just beyond the cornfields, waiting to make my life even more ridiculous.

The day started normal enough, or as normal as things could be when you're ruling over an army of brain-rotted TikTok kids. We were still camped in the same glitchy cornfield where I'd defeated the Skibidi King. My zombies were scattered about, dabbing, flossing, and doing half-hearted TikTok challenges. It felt almost peaceful, almost.

That peace lasted about ten minutes.

It started with the smell. Something thick and earthy, like wet fur mixed with skunk spray and weed smoke. I scrunched my nose, looking around for the source. "What the hell is that?"

Then I heard the rumble. It wasn't thunder. It was laughter, deep, rumbling laughter, like a bunch of frat bros who had just discovered their favorite meme of the week. I spun around, my eyes scanning the cornfield.

And that's when I saw him again.

Bigfoot.

But he wasn't alone this time. No, behind him were more Bigfoots, or rather, Sasquatches. A whole crew of them, and they weren't just casually strolling through the corn like last time. These guys were decked out in what could only be described as cryptid swag. They wore oversized hoodies, beanies, and ripped jeans, looking like they had raided an Urban Outfitters right before a Phish concert. The leader, Bigfoot himself, had a blunt tucked behind his ear, and he was holding a massive can of Monster Energy in one hand.

"Oh, come on," I groaned. "Not this again."

Bigfoot spotted me, grinning that same lazy grin from the last time we met. "Yo, Overlord! What's good, my dude?"

The rest of the Sasquatch bros let out a series of deep "Yo's," all fist-bumping and slapping each other on the back like they were about to throw the wildest Sasquatch rave Ohio had ever seen.

"Seriously?" I muttered, trying to figure out how to handle the situation. "Bigfoot, what are you doing back here? And… why do you have an entourage?"

Bigfoot strolled up to me, his massive feet crunching the corn stalks beneath him. He took a swig of his Monster Energy and shrugged. "Chillin', man. We were just out here, vibing in the forest, when we felt this massive energy surge. Figured we'd come see what all the hype was about."

I raised an eyebrow. "Energy surge?"

"Yeah, dude. The Skibidi King." He gestured toward the sky like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Dude was flexing some serious meme power. You took him down, right?"

I blinked, taken aback. "Uh… yeah. I guess I did."

Bigfoot's grin widened, and he turned to his crew. "See? Told y'all this guy's the real deal." The Sasquatch bros cheered, throwing up peace signs and flexing their arms in some weird show of cryptid respect.

I stared at them, completely lost. "Okay, that's great, but what do you guys want? I'm kinda busy trying to keep Ohio from completely falling apart here."

Bigfoot scratched his chin, his expression turning just a little more serious. "Well, here's the thing, dude. You took out the Skibidi King, and that's dope. But Ohio? Ohio's wild, man. There's always something bigger and badder lurking out there. You're the Brain Rot Overlord now, and that makes you a target."

I crossed my arms, not liking where this was going. "A target for what?"

Bigfoot exchanged a glance with his crew, then looked back at me. "The Skibidi King wasn't the only meme god out there, bro. There are others. Ohio's crawling with 'em. And now that you've knocked off one of the big guys, the others are gonna come sniffing around, trying to take you down."

My stomach dropped. As if the Skibidi King wasn't bad enough, now I had more meme gods to deal with?

"So, what?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. "Are you here to help me or something?"

Bigfoot chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Nah, man, we're not the 'helping' type. But we like you. You've got good vibes. So we figured we'd warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

Bigfoot took another swig of his Monster, his tone growing more serious. "There's a new meme god rising. His name's Chad Thundercock."

I blinked. "Chad Thundercock?"

Bigfoot nodded. "Yeah, bro. He's a beast. Literal alpha. Dude's got the strongest meme power Ohio's ever seen. He's been building an army of Chads and Stacys, all hitting the gym like it's the end of the world. And word on the cryptid street is, he's gunning for your throne."

I stared at him, my mind racing. "So you're telling me that I just finished dealing with the Skibidi King, and now I've got to fight a dude named Chad Thundercock, who has an army of gym bros?"

Bigfoot and his crew all nodded in unison. "Yeah, man. Pretty much."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to process this new insanity. "And how exactly am I supposed to beat a guy like that?"

Bigfoot grinned, slapping me on the back so hard I nearly fell over. "You'll figure it out, bro. You've got meme powers, and that's half the battle. The rest? You just gotta vibe with it."

The Sasquatch bros all nodded again, as if that was the most solid advice anyone had ever given.

I sighed, looking up at the glitchy sky. "Of course. Just vibe with it. That's the answer to everything in Ohio, isn't it?"

Bigfoot gave me a lazy thumbs up. "Exactly, dude. You're getting it. Just watch your back. Chad's coming for you, and he doesn't play around."

With that, Bigfoot turned and started to walk away, his crew following close behind. As they disappeared into the cornfield, I was left standing there, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was now facing down a meme god named Chad Thundercock.

"Great," I muttered to myself. "Just great."

I glanced at my TikTok zombies, who were still obliviously dabbing and flossing in the distance. Somehow, I had to figure out how to take on this new threat. Ohio was only getting weirder, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep up.

But one thing was for sure, I wasn't going down without a fight.

After Bigfoot and his crew disappeared back into the cornfield, I stood there, trying to process everything. I had defeated the Skibidi King, sure, but now I was supposed to take on someone named Chad Thundercock? This was next-level insanity, even by Ohio's standards.

I glanced at my TikTok zombie army, still completely unaware of the cosmic threat looming over us. One kid was trying to floss in slow motion, while another was stuck in a perpetual dab. They were good for meme battles, but taking on a gym-bro meme god with an army of Chads and Stacys? I wasn't so sure.

"Okay," I muttered, pacing in circles. "How do I even start preparing for something like this?"

I needed answers. And if there was one thing I had learned in Ohio, it was that when all else fails, you look to the memes. I opened TikTok, scrolling through the madness that filled my feed, hoping for some kind of clue. But the app was flooded with the usual Skibidi memes and Fortnite challenges. Nothing helpful.

Then I remembered Bigfoot's words. "You've got meme powers, and that's half the battle."

Meme powers. Of course. Maybe there was something deeper in TikTok that I hadn't tapped into yet. Something that could give me the edge I needed against Chad Thundercock.

I started digging through TikTok's filters, looking for anything that might give me a fighting chance. As I scrolled, I found a few promising options:

"Alpha Energy Boost" – A filter that temporarily transforms you into the ultimate alpha, complete with gym bro strength and swagger.

"Karen Summon 2.0" – A more advanced version of the filter I used against the Karens, but this time it called in an army of manager-level Karens.

"Mega Meme Fusion" – A highly unstable filter that allowed you to fuse multiple memes into one super attack. Risky, but it could be powerful.

I hovered over the Alpha Energy Boost filter. If Chad was the ultimate alpha, maybe I could use this to level the playing field. But then again, it felt too much like playing his game. And something told me I wasn't going to beat Chad by becoming just another gym bro.

I swiped past it, pausing on the Mega Meme Fusion filter. Now this? This had potential. Combining multiple meme attacks into one? It was risky, there was a chance I could accidentally glitch myself out of existence, but if I could pull it off, it might be the key to taking Chad down.

"Alright," I said, selecting the filter. "Let's do this."

Before I could test it out, the ground beneath me started to tremble. At first, I thought it was just another weird Ohio glitch, but the shaking grew stronger, and I heard the unmistakable sound of… dubstep?

The bass dropped, and from behind the hills of corn, I saw them, Chads. An army of muscle-bound gym bros, all wearing tank tops with slogans like "No Days Off" and "Beast Mode Activated." They were massive, every one of them a walking wall of muscles, and they were pumping their fists in perfect sync to the dubstep beat blasting from their oversized speakers.

And leading them, standing at least a foot taller than the rest, was Chad Thundercock himself.

He was everything Bigfoot had described, and worse. His muscles were absurdly large, bulging out of his tank top like he was on some next-level protein powder. His jawline was so sharp it could probably cut through steel, and his hair was styled in the most perfect bro pompadour I'd ever seen. He carried a giant barbell over his shoulder like it was a twig, and his eyes gleamed with a strange, god-like power.

"Sup, bro," Chad called out, his voice booming across the cornfield like the announcement of a gym closing for maintenance. "Heard you took down the Skibidi King. That's cute. But now? You're in my world."

I could feel the raw alpha energy radiating off him like a heatwave. This guy wasn't just a meme god, he was a walking, talking embodiment of every gym bro stereotype on steroids.

I took a deep breath, raising my phone and activating the Mega Meme Fusion filter. The world around me glitched for a second, the colors distorting as the filter took effect. I could feel the memes fusing together in my hands, raw chaotic energy surging through me.

"Alright, Chad," I called back. "Let's see if your muscles can handle this."

The Chads charged, their dubstep anthem growing louder as they barreled toward me. I braced myself, focusing all the meme energy I had into one massive attack.

"Meme Fusion: Ultimate Karen-Alpha-Crab Rave Combo!" I shouted, unleashing the fusion.

The result was pure, glorious chaos.

From the sky, a storm of Karens descended, each one wielding an invisible receipt and demanding to speak to the manager of existence itself. At the same time, the Crab Rave meme music started playing, and giant, glitchy crabs appeared out of nowhere, scuttling across the battlefield and wreaking havoc among the Chads.

The Chads were momentarily thrown off, confused by the sudden appearance of dancing crabs and screeching Karens. Some of them tried to flex the crabs away, while others looked completely lost as the Karens berated them for improper gym etiquette.

Chad Thundercock, however, wasn't fazed. He cracked his neck, grinning as he swung his barbell over his shoulder. "Nice try, bro, but I don't lose."

With a roar, Chad slammed his barbell into the ground, sending a shockwave that shattered the crab rave and scattered the Karens like paper in a tornado. His army regrouped, their eyes blazing with gym bro determination.

"Come on, Overlord," Chad taunted. "Hit me with everything you've got."

I gritted my teeth, swiping through TikTok for more meme attacks. I was running out of time. The Chads were closing in, and I had to do something, fast.

Then, inspiration hit.

I scrolled to the "Flex Reversal" filter, a filter that reversed any flex into a cringe-worthy fail. It was risky, but if I timed it right, it could work.

I activated the filter just as Chad flexed his massive biceps, ready to crush me with pure bro energy. The moment the flex reached its peak, the filter kicked in, and Chad's muscles deflated like a popped balloon. His perfect pompadour flattened, and his gym tank top suddenly read "Lame Mode."

Chad stumbled, his once-imposing figure reduced to a meme-worthy fail. His army of Chads, seeing their leader's epic cringe, faltered. The dubstep stopped, and the battlefield fell silent.

I couldn't help but grin. "Looks like the Overlord wins this round, Chad."

Chad Thundercock looked at me, his confidence shattered. "This… this isn't over," he growled, before turning and disappearing into the cornfield, his army following close behind.

As the dust settled, I lowered my phone, letting out a long breath. Somehow, I had done it. I had defeated Chad Thundercock.