I stood there, heart pounding in my chest, staring up at the massive stone cryptid rising from the earth like it had been sleeping there for centuries. Its body was a twisted blend of stone, roots, and glowing green energy, towering over me like some kind of ancient guardian. I had no idea what it was called, but the way it looked at me with those glowing eyes made one thing clear: I wasn't getting out of this forest without a fight.
"Okay, okay, no need to panic," I muttered to myself, gripping the vine I'd yanked from the trees. "It's just… a gigantic stone monster… with the power of the earth itself. I've fought worse, right?"
I hadn't. Not even close.
The stone cryptid took a slow, thunderous step toward me, each footfall shaking the ground beneath my feet. Its movements were deliberate, like it wasn't in any hurry to crush me, it knew it had the upper hand. The green energy pulsing through its body glowed brighter with each step, casting an eerie light through the fog-covered forest.
I glanced around, desperate for some kind of advantage. The Beast of Bray Road had already bailed, leaving me to face this thing alone. The vine in my hand felt useless, but it was the only weapon I had. My TikTok meme powers were no good here. I had to think outside the box, fast.
The stone cryptid raised one massive arm, the roots entwined with stone shifting like living tendrils. It reached for me, the roots extending like they were trying to pull me into the earth itself.
"Oh no, you don't!" I shouted, diving out of the way just in time. The roots slammed into the ground where I'd been standing, sending dirt and debris flying into the air.
I scrambled to my feet, my mind racing. I couldn't just run. The thing was too big, too strong, and the forest itself seemed to be bending to its will. I needed a plan, and fast.
Then I spotted something. Just behind the cryptid, a massive oak tree towered over the forest, its branches twisted and gnarled. The green energy from the cryptid seemed to be flowing into the tree, like it was drawing power from it.
That was it. The tree was the source of its strength.
I gripped the vine tighter and sprinted toward the tree, ducking and weaving through the underbrush as the cryptid's roots lashed out at me. I could hear the stone beast lumbering after me, but it was slow, slow enough that I had a chance to reach the tree.
If I could just disrupt that energy flow, maybe I could weaken it. Maybe that would give me the edge I needed.
The tree loomed in front of me, its bark pulsing with the same eerie green light that flowed through the cryptid's body. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, there were no instructions for taking down an ancient cryptid guardian in the middle of Ohio. But I was the Brain Rot Overlord. I had to figure something out.
I wrapped the vine around the tree trunk, tying it as tightly as I could. I wasn't even sure what I was doing, but I had to try something.
Just as I finished, the cryptid reached me. Its massive stone hand grabbed at the tree, and the roots began to wrap around the trunk, trying to reclaim the energy that was flowing into it.
"Come on, come on…" I muttered under my breath, pulling the vine tighter.
The moment I yanked the vine with all my strength, something incredible happened. The green energy that had been pulsing through the tree flickered, like a glitch in the matrix. The cryptid froze for a split second, its movements stuttering as the energy flow was disrupted.
It was working.
I pulled harder, feeling the resistance of the vine as it strained against the tree. The cryptid let out a low, rumbling growl, its stone body cracking as it tried to maintain its grip on the tree. But the more I pulled, the weaker its connection became.
"Almost there…" I gritted my teeth, pulling with everything I had.
With one final yank, the vine snapped, and the tree's connection to the cryptid was severed. The green energy flickered violently, and the cryptid let out a deafening roar as its power was drained from it. The roots that had been reaching for me recoiled, and the stone giant staggered back, its glowing eyes dimming.
For a moment, I thought it was over. The cryptid's power seemed to be fading, and I let out a sigh of relief.
But then the ground began to tremble again.
"Oh, come on," I groaned, bracing myself as the earth beneath me cracked open. From the ground, more roots began to rise, twisted, dark roots that pulsed with a different energy. This wasn't the same green light that had powered the cryptid. This was darker, more malevolent.
The stone cryptid, now weakened and struggling to stay upright, let out a low, mournful growl. It wasn't in control anymore. Whatever was rising from the earth now was something different. Something worse.
From the cracks in the ground, a new figure emerged, a shadowy, twisted shape made of dark roots and stone. Its eyes glowed with a deep red light, and the air around it seemed to hum with an unnatural energy. It was smaller than the stone cryptid, but there was something far more dangerous about it.
I took a step back, my heart pounding in my chest. "What the hell is that?"
Bigfoot's voice echoed through the forest, though I couldn't see him anywhere. "That, bro, is the real challenge. The Guardian was just the first layer. Now you're dealing with the Shadow Root."
"Great," I muttered, my grip tightening on the vine. "Any advice?"
Bigfoot's laugh echoed through the trees. "Just vibe, man. You've got this."
The Shadow Root let out a screech, its red eyes locking onto me as it charged.
I had survived the first part of the trial, but now I was facing something far more dangerous. The cryptid gods weren't just testing me, they were trying to break me. And if I didn't find a way to stop the Shadow Root, I was going to fail.
I braced myself, ready for the fight of my life.
The Shadow Root charged at me, its twisted mass of dark roots and stone slicing through the air with terrifying speed. I barely had time to react, diving out of the way just as one of its gnarled limbs slammed into the ground where I'd been standing. Dirt and debris exploded around me, and I scrambled to my feet, my mind racing.
This thing wasn't like the stone cryptid. It was faster, more agile, and it didn't rely on brute strength alone. The dark red energy pulsing through its body made it feel more… alive. Like it was fueled by something darker, something older than even the cryptids I'd faced so far.
"Bigfoot, your advice sucks!" I shouted, trying to figure out how to survive this thing.
Bigfoot's voice echoed in the distance, his laugh as lazy as ever. "Come on, Overlord. You've got this. You just need to feel the vibe."
"Vibe? How am I supposed to vibe with a murderous tree monster?!"
But Bigfoot's words stuck in my mind, even as the Shadow Root swiped at me again. I ducked and rolled, narrowly avoiding the twisted roots as they lashed out like whips. The Shadow Root wasn't just mindlessly attacking, it was hunting me. It was smart, calculated.
I had to change my approach. This wasn't a fight I could win through brute force, not without my meme powers. I had to outsmart it. I had to understand it.
As the Shadow Root paused, its glowing red eyes scanning the forest for me, I took a moment to observe it. The way it moved, the way its roots connected to the earth, it wasn't just some chaotic force of nature. It was feeding off the land, drawing energy from the ground beneath us.
And then it hit me. The Shadow Root was bound to the forest. It was drawing its power from the earth, just like the stone cryptid had drawn power from the tree. If I could sever that connection, I might have a chance.
I glanced around, my eyes locking onto the massive tree where I had disrupted the energy flow before. The tree was still glowing faintly, but now it was surrounded by a network of dark roots, twisting and writhing like snakes. The Shadow Root was using the tree as a conduit, feeding off the energy that was left behind.
"Okay," I muttered, gripping the vine I still held. "Time to cut you off."
The Shadow Root spotted me, its red eyes flaring with anger. It screeched and charged again, but this time, I was ready. I sprinted toward the tree, weaving through the underbrush as the Shadow Root chased me, its limbs slashing at the ground behind me.
I reached the base of the tree, skidding to a stop as I grabbed the vine and looped it around the dark roots. I yanked hard, pulling the vine tight as I tried to sever the connection.
The Shadow Root screeched again, its body convulsing as the energy flow flickered. I could feel it weakening, but it wasn't enough. I needed something stronger, something that would completely sever the root's hold on the tree.
Then I remembered something. The vine.
It wasn't just any vine. It had been growing in the cryptid-infested forest, a part of the ancient land. Maybe it held some of the same power the cryptids were using. Maybe I could use it against the Shadow Root.
I wrapped the vine around the roots again, this time focusing all my energy on it. I didn't know what I was doing, but I closed my eyes and vibed. I imagined the vine cutting through the dark energy, disrupting the flow of power that the Shadow Root was drawing from the earth.
And it worked.
The moment I pulled the vine tight, the energy pulsing through the roots flickered violently. The red glow in the Shadow Root's eyes dimmed, and it let out a roar of pain, its limbs thrashing wildly as the connection was severed.
I yanked the vine again, and this time, the roots snapped. The dark energy surged through the air, dispersing like smoke as the Shadow Root's body began to crumble. Its twisted form convulsed one last time before collapsing to the ground, its red eyes flickering out like dying embers.
I stumbled back, breathing hard as the forest fell silent. The Shadow Root was gone, its body dissolving into the earth. I had done it. I had severed its connection to the land, cutting off its power source.
I let out a shaky laugh, my heart still racing. "Well, that was… something."
Bigfoot's voice echoed through the trees, as casual as ever. "Told you, man. Just vibe with it."
I rolled my eyes, still catching my breath. "Yeah, sure. Next time you can vibe with the murderous tree monster."
The forest around me began to shift again, the shadows receding as the trial came to an end. The cryptid gods had thrown everything they had at me, and somehow, I had survived. But as the fog lifted and the dark energy faded, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was only the beginning.
Bigfoot's voice rumbled through the forest, a hint of pride in his tone. "Congrats, Overlord. You passed the first trial. But don't get too comfortable. There's more where that came from."
I sighed, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Of course there is."
The ground beneath me trembled one last time, and suddenly, the forest melted away. I was back in the cornfield, the cryptid army waiting for me. Mothman hovered above, his red eyes glowing with approval, while the Loveland Frogmen croaked in agreement. Flatwoods Monster stood silently, its metallic form watching me with an unreadable expression.
Bigfoot stepped forward, his grin wider than ever. "Nice job, bro. You handled the Shadow Root like a pro. But you've still got a long way to go."
I nodded, trying to steady my breathing. "What's next?"
Bigfoot's grin faded slightly, and he leaned in closer. "Next? You face the second trial. And trust me, man, it's a whole different vibe."
I glanced at the cryptids surrounding me, my pulse quickening again. "What kind of trial?"
Bigfoot's eyes gleamed with mischief. "You'll find out soon enough."