"Jealous?"
A single word rang out, stopping Austin in his tracks. He looked up at the man who was grinning broadly. The two pairs of feet that were moving, were now glued to the white floor where he stood. Their gazes were locked together with a distance of no more than half a meter. Going to the toilet was just Austin's alibi to keep 'his' away from the woman he forgot was even his.
"Are you jealous?" asked Kenan once again, his lips in a lopsided smile.
Austin pursed his lips tightly to stare at Kenan, his expression sour. "Yeah, I'm jealous."
Kenan replied with a mocking laugh. "Weak," he sneered.
The taunt ignited a new fire in his chest. Taking a step closer, Austin made a move to do something. However, it was delayed again as Kenan simply paused.
"Just seeing me being touched by a girl, your face is sour like that, so what if I hug and kiss a girl in front of you?"
Austin returned to his original gesture, his mouth silent though slightly open. He wanted to reply but didn't know what to say.
"You know what, Austin?" Kenan's voice lowered an octave.
Know what? Austin thought. Waiting for Kenan to say his next words because this time the man took a longer pause.
One long breath escaped. Kenan continued, "Have you ever thought about what you were feeling? How does it feel to be jealous, it doesn't feel good, does it? It hurts? Upset? Does your chest feel tight?"
Kenan paused again during the throwing gaze, wherever it was as long as it wasn't at Austin's sour face, even though he knew the next second his gaze would be drawn back to the younger man. "That's what I've been feeling all this time, it's unbearable."
That wistful phrase once again tickled Austin's ears. Kenan touched his left cheek, rubbing it only brought a bland smile from him.
"Just wait a few more years, I'll let her go." Austin opened his voice, making a promise between them, just the two of them.
He took Austin's hand, which was slowly moved away from his cheek as he said without slipping any tone. "I told you, didn't I? I'm not forcing you to let her go. I just want you to keep your distance from him, and stop being so jealous of me. After all, you don't completely own me."
After the words, Kenan grasped the slightly larger hand tightly with both hands.
And for the umpteenth time, Kenan again made Austin's logic and feelings never converge, the two even arguing in each other's heads. He might be able to close his eyes to things he didn't want to see, close his ears to sounds he didn't want to hear. But still, Kenan couldn't close his heart about something he didn't want to feel. Like the jealousy he had just experienced. But precisely when Kenan was jealous of him, Austin seemed to close his eyes and ears.
"Then, what should I do so I can have you completely?"
Not for a second did Austin's dark eyes leave Kenan's gaze, just as he didn't want to let go of those legs.
Kenan just shook his head.
"Do you still hate me for what happened in the past, that there's no way I can fully own you?"
Biting his lips, Kenan smiled lamely, despite his softened expression. He released his grip on Austin's hand. "You'd do anything for me?" Kenan's low tone said, his lips painting a perfect curve on his handsome face. "Austin..." The released hand moved to touch the tip of Austin's bangs.
The vibrating sound reflexively raised Kenan's hand in the air before the owner brought his hand back to his side. He sighed softly.
Austin averted his gaze and adjusted his uncertainty. He reached into his pocket for the object that had been vibrating. Seeing who it was calling from, his eyebrows knitted slightly. He immediately picked up the call without thinking.
"Austin, where are you? Why is your cell phone only now active? I've been trying to reach you for a while now." Someone's voice from far away sounded annoyed.
"Sorry."
"What? What? You said? Sorry? Didn't I hear wrong?"
Austin chuckled. "What do you want? Why are you calling?"
"You asked, what? Did you forget our meeting?"
Austin rubbed his face. How could he forget that?
He quickly replied, "Okay, I'll be there."
"I'm coming."
Austin jumped at Kenan's insistent wish. He looked at the serious face that tried to smile even though he knew it was just a forced smile.
"Austin..."
Squeezing the cell phone in his right hand, Austin opened his mouth to refuse the request but ended up silent. Austin couldn't bring Kenan along like the last time he brought the man to hang out with his friends. Although the last time was based on his direct coercion, it also ended in tragedy due to his intentions. However, now Kenan was insisting on coming along.
Had Kenan forgotten what they had done to him in the past? Violence, bullying, and immoral acts that were beyond the pale.
Even led by Austin himself.
No, he hasn't. Kenan would never forget all that. All the tragedies that would be considered nightmares in the present. They were etched into his memory forever, as impossible to fade away as the cigarette burn that still lingered on his chest, perhaps having pierced his ribs and burned his heart.
Why do you want to come, Kenan? Austin asked silently, not intending to ask him directly because he didn't want to remind Kenan of the bad treatment of those who for some reason he still considered friends. Also the bad treatment from him, which somehow now Kenan is willing to give everything he has for Austin who could only hurt him before.
"Silence means I can come." Kenan decided unilaterally.
From every angle Kenan showed, the man showed no sign of trauma, Not after ten years did they finally meet again. So, what happened to Kenan during the ten years he was missing from his life? Austin didn't know, but he was going to find out.
"Kenan," Austin looked at Kenan, "bringing you along, that's not a good idea. Stay, stay with dad, I won't be long." After saying that Austin turned away, his feet moving quickly so Kenan wouldn't follow. However, the man had many ways of getting Austin to take him along.
"If you tell me to stay, that means you're letting me be alone with Irena."
At the mention of Irena, Austin's steps automatically stopped, even before Kenan finished saying her name. It was only when he blinked that Austin's position had turned around to look at him smiling triumphantly.
"Hurry up and choose! Your friends are waiting," Kenan urged.
Taking a deep breath, one hand rubbed his face roughly while occasionally massaging his temples in a confused expression while his face looked down for a while. Soon Austin gave Kenan a complicated look. Confused by two difficult choices. If he took Kenan with him, Austin couldn't predict what would happen. However, if he let the man stay, it was certain that he would spend time with Irena.
The relationship between Kenan and her was good enough, especially after he saw their closeness a few minutes ago. The thought of that would have a worse impact on her and Kenan's relationship. Now that his father and Irena's father were meeting, if either of them suggested that Kenan and Irena had a special relationship, everything would fall apart. He didn't want to share his property with her, not even if Kenan would never love Irena.
Letting out a long sigh, Austin nodded, agreeing to Kenan's request. A meaningful smile then spread across his lips. Not needing to wait any longer, Kenan immediately pulled Austin's hand back to his father's study to say goodbye on the grounds of sudden business.
*
Upon opening the door, the thick smell of nicotine and alcohol greeted him along with Linking Park's Burn it Down, which was not too loud but not exactly noisy. A long sofa and coffee table, several cigarette cases, e-cigarette tubes, lighters and a few empty cups as well as a pool table not far away consisted of two men with one sitting on the sofa playing his cell phone.
Noticing someone's arrival, one of them, a tall man, opened his voice. "You finally came." Felix approached Austin to give him a light pat on the right shoulder, which he returned with a faint smile.
"Where have you been?" Farrel asked, handing Austin a cup of vodka which he gladly accepted.
Not answering immediately, Austin sat down on the sofa and took a sip of vodka. "I just came from the hospital, my dad had an accident and I had to stay with him for a few hours," he explained after the vodka in his glass was gone.
"Your dad was in an accident?" Brandon looked a little surprised.
Austin just nodded back. He didn't intend to elaborate on the fact that his father had just crashed into a utility pole.
"By the way, there's someone who wants to see you guys." Austin looked at his three friends in turn before his attention shifted towards the door.
Following Austin's gaze, the three men in the room gave a surprised look as they saw a figure they hadn't seen in a long time.
"Hi!" Kenan greeted, his lips developing a faint smile.