Worrying about not having a job and running out of money was annoying for Weiwei, but far from the hardest part of staying at home. The harder part was thinking about how to avoid letting Qi know about her dismissal, which Weiwei thought wasn't a good idea for now. Primarily because she didn't want to feel like a loser for getting fired. She didn't want Qi to think less of her. But also she didn't want him to worry about such trivial matters like her employment when he likely had the fate of the entire company in his hands at this very moment.
I can only imagine how he must feel sitting across the table from those people with money when his grandfather's business survival is at stake. Hundreds of people's jobs. Even thousands. No, I actually can't imagine how that must feel.
What was even harder for Weiwei, was trying to guess whether Qi missed her as much as she missed him. Every day felt like an emotional rollercoaster, full of moments of hope intermingled with those of doubt and defeat. She often found herself looking at the messages they had been exchanging, searching for clues in his words.
I'm careful about what I write, so he probably is.
For example, she never wrote that she missed him. However, she tried to express it in other, indirect, ways. Once, she hinted about the kiss at the airport mentioning something sweet still lingering on her lips. "Same here," he replied.
"Same here"? What's the meaning of that? Was that too brief? Does that sound too indifferent? What did he think about that kiss?
When Weiwei was getting tired of wracking her brain about all these questions, she would read or go for a walk. And then return to the torture.
***
Speaking with Ruxuan was Weiwei's only outlet to escape her loneliness and struggles with self-inflicted mental dialogues.
If there was one thing Ruxuan contributed to Weiwei's existence, it was her boundless energy. Weiwei didn't think she lacked energy herself, but everything paled in comparison with ceaseless curiosity and talkativeness of Ruxuan. In her current situation, Weiwei especially appreciated this side of Ruxuan, which she may not have valued that much back in the office.
"Would you tell your relatives if you lost your job?" asked Weiwei.
"Of course," Ruxuan fired back. "If I didn't tell them, they would find out anyway and then would be mad at me. That's for one thing. And another, why would I hide it if there're supposed to be on my side and help me and cheer me up. At the very least, they could make me a good spicy dinner to take my mind off my misfortune," she laughed. "By the way, why are you making me think about such terrible things? Don't you know that by thinking like this you're asking the universe for troubles. Don't even talk to me about losing my job. Don't jinx it! Touch wood, touch wood."
Weiwei felt bad she troubled Ruxuan with her own problems. "I'm sorry, I'll take it back. Nothing bad will happen to you, Ruxuan, don't you worry. Touch wood!"
"It's okay, I understand," said Ruxuan, quickly cheering up. "You must be feeling pretty crappy these days. I feel for you, sister."
I should be nice to her. She's a good friend, after all.
"No worries."
"I'll tell you what. Let's go for lunch on Friday!" Ruxuan giggled. "You know what? Someone else wants to come."
Someone else? Is she teasing me?
"Who?"
"Chengli," laughed Ruxuan. "He must be missing you as well."
Phew, that's alright then.
"Of course, if he wants to join us," said Weiwei. "I hope he and others are doing okay and not stressing over this whole incident."
"Well, he has been pretty down, actually. He even took a day off," Ruxuan pondered. "I don't remember him taking days off out of the blue like this. And he's never sick. A model employee, all in all!"
"Well, I'd be very happy to see both of you."
"So it's done then, right? Friday?"
"Sounds good. Until Friday," said Weiwei and hung up.
She browsed Qi's messages on her phone, and sent him a Good night.
She was about to set the phone aside and go brush her teeth when the phone buzzed.
Good night to you and good morning to me. I had a dream we were at the airport again :)
"Oh no!" exclaimed Weiwei aloud. "Why did you send me a message like that!"
Now I won't be able to have a good night's sleep again!