"I'll be going tomorrow. Don't worry about it."
Avond's voice was low but sure at the same time.
Celeste looked through the cracks of the double doors where she sat nestled between hanging coats. Her heart beat in her chest like a drum ringing in her ears, her hands and feet turning cold, shivers running up her spine.
The familiar sensation of anxiety was returning.
Avond was told to visit her father?
To do what?
To talk to him?
To threaten him?
Celeste held her chest with fists, digging her fingernails into her palm, drawing blood.
"I'm worried. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not as handsome as I usually am; my eyes are sunken, don't you see it?" Tiel demanded, putting the tips of his fingers on his cheeks.
"Look at this."
"What's the connection?" Avond asked as if everything in the world was fine. Celeste had hated Tiel so much that she didn't realize that just because she hated him, it didn't mean Avond did too. The two men now sat as if everything was fine in the world. Like brothers, close siblings.
"What's the connection? Is father's aim that good? The man needs to pay for letting my bride go like that!" Tiel said, almost in disbelief. Celeste frowned. Father? His father did that to him? A flash of Erickson's cold and cruel eyes appeared at the back of her mind. If he was capable of doing that to his own son, what was he going to do to her father? To her?
"I'm sure Jordan didn't expect Celeste to run off. The girl is as timid as a mouse. No one saw this coming, I bet not even Celeste herself," Avond said.
"Haaah, am I really that scary?" Tiel asked after a moment of silence.
Celeste frowned, seeing another side to this man she didn't think could exist. Did he really think she would be alright with all of that intimidation and those threats? Was he stupid?
"I'm sure she was seeing a preview of what her marriage was going to look like. No one wants to be in an abusive home. Not even you," Avond said. Tiel looked as if Avond had struck a tender part of him. His face softened, and the inner child in him looked back as if reprimanded.
"No. You're right. I don't know what happened to me. I just have a temper I can't control sometimes. She's just so cute and helpless I just want to—"
"Hurt her?"
"No! Well, squeeze her a little." Tiel answered with a smirk on his face, evil returning to his eyes. Celeste sat back.
Maybe… he never really meant to hurt her?
"Well, you did, and she's scared. So scared no one can find her anymore. Are you happy?" Avond asked, accusation in his voice as if he had told him before to behave and Tiel had not listened.
"Huh, look at you talking. At least with me, she won't die. Unlike you," Tiel said, which made Celeste surprised. The silence in the room was deafening. The two boys just sat together in silence, locked in a staring match, trapped in a silent conversation. At least with me, she won't die.
What did he mean by that?
Had someone died?
"That's not fair," Avond whispered.
Celeste couldn't see his face before, but as he turned, she could see the visible pain there, as if Tiel had slapped his soul.
In front of him, Tiel's eyes widened in surprise and then regret. He opened his mouth as if to take it back but then shut it, hardening himself.
"Not fair?" Tiel asked him. "You made a decision."
"Get out," Avond said, as if the conversation was hurting him physically.
"Avond—"
"I said GET OUT!" Avond yelled, shocking both Tiel and Celeste as they both witnessed him crumbling from the inside.
Tiel's face started to pale; once again, regret washed over him, but this time he knew there was nothing he could do or say. He should have stopped.
"I'm sorry," Tiel said, so quietly that Celeste wouldn't have known he said it if she wasn't looking at him.
The other man took his keys and then stepped out of the apartment. The sound of the apartment door falling shut behind him as his footsteps echoed away left the two of them in silence.
Although Tiel was long gone, Celeste did not dare step out of her hiding spot. Even with all the questions she wanted to ask him—all of the explanations she wanted to hear—she could not step into the invisible thickness lingering in the living room.
Avond was a broken man. So was Tiel. But who, or what had broken him, Celeste couldn't begin to comprehend. And because of it, she didn't know how to comfort him.
"Celeste, you can come out now," Avond's soft voice called out to her.
Celeste pushed the door open. Whatever pain he had experienced before had disappeared, masked by this sweet man. She swallowed. "Are you alright?"
"Oh… don't worry about me. I thought you were going to ask about your father immediately. And look, you can talk," Avond said, pointing out everything that was enough to distract her. Celeste noticed and took it.
"You're right. What are you going to do to my father?"
"I'm going to send him to the hospital," Avond said point-blank, his face as serious as serious could be. Celeste nodded. "And you're going to do it tomorrow?"
"Yes."
It stung.
Celeste couldn't help but expect him to say no, for her sake. Because he cared enough about her to defy his father's wishes.
The same as how she secretly still hoped he would just help her escape the country. But Avond was a Brightwell, that was all he would always be.
"I need some space," Celeste said before she could stop herself.
"What did you expect was going to happen, Celeste?" Avond asked.
"I thought… since I ran out of my own accords, they won't touch my family," Celeste said, feeling stupid. Until a moment ago, it made perfect sense. She looked up when she heard Avond chuckle.
"Is that so? And the money? Millions and millions to bail your family out of bankruptcy, of being blacklisted by the banks. What did you think was going to happen to that money?"
"I… I don't know," Celeste admitted, embarrassed by herself.
"You… don't… know…" Avond repeated, more to himself. Celeste looked up just as he half-smiled, almost in mockery. "And what about my father? What do you think he will do when he can't get what he asked for, for that money? That he was just going to sit back?"
An ugly feeling bubbled inside of her. "Well, they didn't care when I told them about Tiel, did they!? I was just supposed to accept it like that!"
"What did you think they could do, Celeste!? Tell my father they changed their mind and they could just walk out of his office without a bullet in their heads? Huh!?" Avond asked, raising his voice with each word. Celeste's face paled.
"They didn't care."
"So you didn't either. Now you don't GET to care. I have NO CHOICE. Do you see this?" Avond pointed at his head, at the cut Celeste had bandaged the night before. "My father did that, and he didn't even blink."
"Avond—" Celeste started. She needed some time to think, to let everything sink in. She stepped out of the wardrobe, about to walk away, but Avond cut through her words.
"Don't you get it, Celeste? Do you think you're the only one trapped in this wretched situation? Do you think Tiel had a choice? Do you think he wanted to get married at all before!? What about your parents? What were their options? Hmm!? What about Erickson himself? Hmm? He was born to be in that chair, and so are Tiel and I!" Avond said. His words followed Celeste as she walked towards the spare bedroom, willing herself to ignore them, but every word rang true.
They were all trapped one way or another.
"Remember this, Celeste! Once you're in the life, you STAY in the life!" he yelled. The last thing Celeste heard that night before she slammed the door behind her and then slid to the ground, where she sat crying. Everything Avond said playing in her ears over and over again, deepening the guilt she felt inside.
How selfish, self-centered, and egoistic she was.
What have I done?