I could almost definitely throw up. The sun was too hot, it was scorching and in an open field like this one where we had been standing for over three hours, I don't think I'll be able to last.
"Hang in there, they're going to announce the winners pretty soon"
Leonel shouted amidst the cheers of the other schools and everyone stiffened up once more. I looked at him and like everyday for months, he didn't look at me anymore.
It had been exactly three months since Paulo. Three whole months since I had ended that game of push and pull with Leonel. Three whole months of just being civil, only talking when it came to lessons and lectures.
Within the past three months, we all had been busy with the two-day Regional Competition. It was where all universities within the region who had a ROTC course were going to compete with each other. Under different competitions of course, there's one for the medics unit, one for the military police, one for the formations and so on and so forth. It was to determine which University houses the best ROTC teams for that year.
Today was the last day of the competition and the day where the winners would be announced.
"Hey, I heard your boyfriend was planning something sweet after the competition"
I looked at Annika and almost swore at her when Leonel's attention finally went to me. But his gaze was cold, void of any softness or affection that had been there before.
I grimaced at the word boyfriend and could instantly feel my stomach recoiling from the mere idea of him. Almost a month ago, I had caged myself inside a loveless relationship.
Yes, loveless. It was all for the sake of me not flinching at the touch of any man. An obvious effect of what Paulo had done and left me. But it worked, now I could almost hold hands with the other guys without the need to flinch or hide.
The only downside? He wasn't Leonel.
"Obviously Bryan made poor decisions again"
"Hey don't be like that, he is your boyfriend isn't he?"
I almost scoffed at Annika and stared right ahead where my so-called boyfriend was. He might have helped me with what I need but he was never the ideal boyfriend that I wished I had. Especially the first one during my college days.
For all of his faults, Bryan was smart, quiet and kind. But he was also stupid when it came to money and he wasn't emotionally intelligent. He only agreed to have me as his girlfriend just so he could brag that he finally had a girlfriend in his first year in college.
But I was never going to let this relationship last long. No, I plan to break up with him next week after this competition and right before the school year ends.
I let out another sigh as I turned my attention back to the speaker who was already going to announce the overall winner of the competition.
We could see his mouth move and in an instant everything around me erupted. Everyone was cheering, jumping up and down and hugging one another. Our university had won, we had topped the other schools.
But my attention was on Leonel. On Leonel who was the first one to grab the stretcher lying right beside him and the kit.
On Leonel that was the fastest one to respond to one of the fallen students.
Adrenaline quickly rushed through me as both Annika and I followed Leonel and made through the female student whose breathing had been fast.
"She's hyperventilating"
Annika said as I quickly searched for the brown bag that was on my pocket. Leonel's hands didn't move to ease up the tight clothing of the female student, he couldn't, he wasn't allowed to touch her unless the patient agreed to.
So it was Annika who did it, took off her tight belt and opened up the buttoned fatigue on her body. I went to the student's feet as I handed Leonel the brown bag and untightened the laces of her heavy tactical boots.
"BAG DOWN!"
I turned around and everything had happened fast. One moment there was one, then another, then another, then atleast seven students had been on the ground. Everyone in our medical unit had scattered around the area attending to them until we heard the sirens of an ambulance.
There had been a nearby clinic here where patient's had been brought for this exact reason.
"Help me lift her up"
Leonel ordered to no one in particular but Annika and I made things work quickly. Spreading the stretcher on the grass right next to the girl before we lifted her up to lay down on it. We carried her to the ambulance where Leonel had been the one to go with them to assist her.
"Qian come on, they still need help"
I nodded at Annika and quickly gave assistance to the students who had their whole system fall into fatigue. Everyone was tired, hungry and dehydrated from standing underneath the blazing sun. There was bound to be students who will fall on the first sign of relief.
Hearing that our unit had won might have triggered it. Some whose bodies had been running on adrenaline since the morning loosened up and as the relief starts to take over, the fatigue comes crashing down on them.
Some like me.
"QIAN OH MY GOD!"
I could hear Annika shouting right beside me, right by my ear. We had finished sending off the last student in the ambulance. I knew I sat on the grass as I felt all the adrenaline seep out of my body.
I knew I bowed my head as I felt lightheaded. As I felt the air seemingly thinning out from my lungs. Like something was taking it away. I clutched my chest as I felt that breathing of mine get ragged.
I didn't know who touched me, who loosened up my clothing and my shoes, who took off my eyeglass and who took care of my things.
But I knew who carried me on his bare arms into the ambulance that had stood ready nearby. His scent mixed up with the scent of the grass and the heavy air around me.
I knew how his fingers fumbled to get the brown bag on my mouth as he softly but urgently ordered me.
"Breathe slowly Qian"
Leonel.
I wanted to call out. His fingers laced through mine as his other hand guided the brown bag on my mouth.
"Harriett I need you to breathe slowly. I know you know what to do so just breathe"
I tried but as I do so I felt my eyelids getting heavier. Like something was pulling them underneath.
"Shit"
I heard Leonel mutter, his expression now visible of the panic that he must have been trying to hide since earlier.
"Qian don't close your eyes, come on, you need to stay awake"
He said as my hand the one laced with his fingers was brought to his mouth. The knuckles of my hand brushing against his lips as he kissed them.
"I need you to stay awake Qian come on, we're near there"
I tried but it was the scent of the clinic that threw me off as it hit my nose. Leonel was still carrying me on his arms when he placed me on one of the beds.
"Breathe Qian"
I would if I could but the air was still too thin, my head was still too light and it felt like I wasn't in my body anymore. I wanted to say something to Leonel but I couldn't remember what it was.
And as I watch his panicked expression, I realized I couldn't tell him that, not while I was in this situation. Not when my heavy eyelids won and I closed my eyes.