I wake up with a weak body. I find my mother sitting on the ground with half her body on my bed. My fingers touch her face. She immediately wake up."Granny LI she's a wake! Go get the physician! Quick" She got up with another maid's help and sit beside the bed. "How are you feeling?" She said it with a shaky voice.
After awhile, the physician come into the room. "Her pulse is getting better. She Is healing." He pause and i hear him say "However because of her miscarriage, she had hurt her womb. She will take along time before she can have another child. If she is lucky, that will be her only child that she can have."
"What do you mean? What miscarriage? Are you referring to me?"
"My daughter i will explain to you later. I will talk further with physician Liang outside."
"Granny Li tell me what had happen!"
Granny Lo just cry nonstop. Even the maids are teary in this room. I hated the atmosphere. After awhile i sleep again.
I spend my days staring outside the scenery from my room. My buttocks hurts, my tummy is in pain. My head aches sometimes. My uncombed hair is long and tangle up. I don't even have the mood to read books. Most oft the time, my mother and granny Li will be talking in the room. After a long time, i started to talk. asking what is happening outside.
"Consort Liu have been shut in her own palace till the emperor allows her to leave for the nunnery. That day, while they beat you, you had bleed a lot. Everyone thought that it was the woman's water time. Your skirt is all stain. It is so unusual to see so much blood as they drag you to a room. Until the royal physician came and diagnosed that you had miscarriage."
"After awhile the emperor came. He check through all the jewellery. Nothing is missing. The hairpin, she had all are in pearl white. While the one you had is in pink white. She asked for forgiveness. The empress suggests that she goes to the nunnery to stay for awhile and pray for forgiveness. The emperor agree."
"He was fuming when he heard that you had miscarriage. That child in your tummy will be the next crown prince after crown prince Wen ascend to as emperor after his death. Now with the news that it is not possible for you to carry another child unless there is a miracle."
"This child don't have the fate with us. I did not know i have a child. If i know, i will not pick up a fight or leave the mansion. I won't talk back. I won't ..." I cry non stop after that. My mother hold me in her arms. The room is fill with three woman crying.
Dingbat did not write a single letter all the time he is away. I don't know if he had the new that i had miscarriage. In anyway, it's better not to hear form him. In addition, the family of consort Liu had come by the Su mansion. They apologised on behalf of consort Liu. I refused to see them, naturally my parents came out to talk. What they said i don't know. Four months have pass, winter is soon be here again. The chilly wind blows hard. I am told to stay away from cold and hide in my room. Instead, i take the carriage out to have a ride around town. The sights and sounds of the buzzing market is so lovely. Despite the coldness there are people still walking around purchasing goods. I take a walk around. Buying anything that catch my fancy.
"How much is this?" I pick up a wooden doll. "Three coins" As i dig for the coin. I hear a familiar voice. "Wife, are you done? Let's close up early today. too cold for you." I look up to see Cheung'er. He smile sweetly at the lady infront of me. After i pay, as i walk away, he call me.
"Yun'er?" My foot stop but i know i should not stop and turn back. He run to my front. "You are Yun'er am i right?" He looks excited. I only can stare at him and shake my head and walk away. My tears had frozen along time ago. This is not how i imagine i would meet him. We are both married to different people. It is best we don't see each other again.
Three days later the Liu family again come knocking on the door. They sent some of the best ginseng over along with a few jewellery. I decline accepting it but told the maid who bring it to the mansion that i don't bare any gauge towards the Liu family. Hope that consort Liu will conduct herself properly in future. The next day a man name Liu Xue An come by our mansion. He is the brother of consort Liu. He again apologise. I ask him to play a game of go with me. He agree and we had been occupy with the whole afternoon on the game.