Little peach rows up slowly and safely with everyone's care. She is loud and curious child. Even though I did not give birth too her, I am listed as her mother. Concubine Han continue to live with us quietly in the mansion. Occasionally I can hear that dingbat had gone off to her apartment to make love. She knows that he heart doesn't belong to her. She had accepted it. In return if she should fall in love with another man, he will allow her to divorce and leave the mansion. But for now she had to continue to sleep with him every other day. After a few months she got pregnant but miscarriage again. She grew in deep depression. I try to get her involved with little peach so that she doesn't think too much. However she continue to stay in her deep depression. To the point she asked her family to fetch her. Her father discussed this matter to dingbat. They come to an agreement that she should divorce and leave the mansion. Within three days everything is sort out and she left. The rest of the royal family is upset of this news but they accepted it. With dingbat refused to get more wives. They are looking at alternatives to the current solution.
Meanwhile my little peach is such a joy in the mansion. She laughs alot and rarely cry. On her third month, there is a celebration. It is to celebrate that she lived through the months and a beginning of her chapter of her life.
Her birth mother. concubine Sheng is unwell after giving birth to her. She is constantly laying in her bed. As per physician's advice. we did not allow little peach to go near her. As we fear that whatever concubine Sheng had contract with will pass to others especally little peach who is so young. She too understand that she must not leave the room that she is in. From a distance she watch her daughter grow up with our care. However after little peach turns one, she hang herself leaving a note asking to care her daughter. The physician concluded that she might be suffering inside and she cannot withstand the pain anymore. Even the coroner had the same conclusions, We had her buried next to concubine Zheng. May they be accompanying each other after life.
Little peach grow up not knowing anything. She calls me mother, which is strange for me. I am just twenty-one, barely reach to become a proper adult. Maybe because i am childish in some ways, i can still play with her.
When she turned one, the royal astronomy bestow the name Xian Tao Le. Which means peach of happiness. As adoptive mother, i am delighted to hear her name. Tao is peach which i always thought that she should have it in her name.
The only thing that borther me is that dingbat is not interested in his daughter at all. His daily routine did not change. He continue to wake up before the sun. Exercise and playing sword fighting with his men. Reading up on books especally on military technics. Meetup with those retaired generals. Playing bows and arrows. Watch chinese opera. At night dinner, he doesnt even interact with her. One night, while i am combing my hair. He takes the combe and start combing my hair. From the mirror, i look and ask.
"Why arent you spending time with little peach? Are you that busy?"
"There is nothing for me to say to her. She is too small. Besides there are many people to play with her. So what am i?"
"You are her father. You dont want your daughter is grow up like a stranger when facing you."
"She will understand when the time comes. She's not your flesh and blood why are you borther with this?"
"She is make up of flesh and blood. She is my husband's child. That is why i care."
"What about our child? Will you cast her aside when our child is born?"
I turn around and look at him, face to face.
"I dont think i can do that. Unless one day she comes to know that i am not her birth mother. If that day should come, i will tell her everything. If she wants to leave me, so be it. I wont force her. I just want her to grow up safely and healthy."
"You sound like the girl i know many years ago. Not that girl who i married years ago. Whoever or whatever you change to, i dont think i can walk away from you this life. You are the one and only woman for all my children. Even if we dont bare children together. I still acknowledge you as my princess wife." He put down the comb and get up. Stretch his long legs and stroll to the bed. While stripping his clothes and dropping them on the floor, he continue "However i am not giving up hope that one day a child will be concieve in your tummy. That will be my greatest wish this life. May the child be a boy or girl. That child will be my little god."
He stretch out his hand, gesture me to come to him
"Lets do more tonite. I feel that i have alot of energy to shot inside you. My god is waiting."
This man... sometimes i want to struggle him.
As little peach gets older, she gets more demanding. To control her, i punish her as well. However i hate to see or hear her cries. Usually i make her knee infront of the tablets for an hour. Her father of course see this, he simply walk away. While granny Li will plead for the little one after half an hour. To be firm i have to harden my heart. No means no. Little peach have to undertand this. Eventhou her father dont interact with her much, i require her to learn her manners. If one day should the royal family wants to see her, she have to have proper manners to appear infront of them. Whatever i know i teach her. whatever i cant teach i ask dingbat for help. Of course he just push this to a teacher to teach.
At three years old, i decided that she is well behave enough to go out to see the market. She is delighted. We sit in the carriage and alight at a busy junction. My instruction to her is to hold my hand no matter what. She agrees but i doubt it,